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Jul
27
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 I didn’t really see it coming until it hit me in the face directly. I was having a mommy and me day with my youngest child, complete with a trip to the American Girl store that just opened up and then tea at a lovely hotel. While holding a doll named Sue I became giddy over all the little doll shoes, pint-sized picnic sets, and soccer clothes that this grand store was trying to pawn off on us. Although I’d set a fixed price before we left to commemorate our special day, I was so swept up in the moment that we ended up bringing home much more than I intended. My middle child immediately cried foul that his sister got “soooo many goodies,” whereas he got only one souvenir from our day together earlier this summer. So he did what all good big brothers do: he bragged that he was going to a movie and lunch with me the next day when my daughter went to her camp. This naturally sent my daughter into hysterics about how unfair it is that her brother gets everything and she gets nothing, even after my credit card was still smoking from our day’s purchases just hours before. I stared at the two of them and realized something: my kids are greedy. | |||
Blog Posts by Dr. Joan
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May
05
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Earlier this year, my husband and I spent countless days, weeks and months wondering whether or not our son had ADD. We wrung our hands, consulted experts, fought with our son, and I ground my teeth down to the point that I needed root canal surgery. After the diagnosis of ADD was confirmed, we breathed a sigh of relief and thought that the worst of our problems were over. We had a diagnosis and felt we could move ahead with our treatment. Problem solved, right? Well, sort of. | |||
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Jan
28
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The recent devastating earthquake in Haiti, with its images of people and bodies being pulled from the rubble, has spurred a lot of hard (and good) conversations in our family about what we can do to help. My middle son, who’s impulsive and outgoing, wanted to rush there to rescue people “right away,” and has been scouring the house for change to bring to his school to add to their fundraising pot. My 7-year-old daughter, who is the first one ready in the morning and is organized to a fault, is helping her class to raise money for specific supplies. (And my teenager isn’t really involved in helping, because, let’s face it, he’s a teenager and not the most empathetic person on the planet right now! Still, we’ve had some good conversations about what it means to go through a natural disaster and have no food or shelter.) The whole experience, while difficult and sad, has been important for my kids because it brings home the necessity of empathy in a child’s life—the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and really ask the question, “How would I feel? What would I want people to do for me in the same situation?” In my mind, empathy is probably the most difficult, yet the most vital quality a child can possess. While no one can always be kind and empathic, I think it’s important to teach your child that empathy is a trait that your family values from an early age. | |||
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Oct
28
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I have just come from our therapist’s office and am feeling much calmer. You read that right: Dr. Joan is in therapy. It all started when my husband and I began struggling, badly, with one of our kids who was displaying signs of Attention Deficit Disorder: lack of focus at school, outbursts at home, blaming others for his problems, lying about homework. My husband and I knew that this was an ongoing problem, but it all came to a head as our 10 year-old child entered a grade at school where everything gets moved up a notch and he began to struggle. Being a psychologist, you’d think I would have gotten everything under control immediately, right? Wrong. | |||
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Jul
06
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The call came early; the voice on the other end of the line was frantic. “My kids are making me crazy,” my sister said. “How am I supposed to get any work done with their constant fighting, yelling and arguing?” I listened and shared stories of my own kids: backtalk, whining, complaining, and in-fighting. Ahhhh, summer. | |||
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May
08
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Why are fewer parents using the word “No” and failing to give their children consequences that will make their inappropriate behavior stop? | |||
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Mar
29
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I have a twelve-year-old child who tends to be negative. Of course, all kids have moments of whining, complaining, and displaying “the glass-is-half-empty” attitude now and again, but this particular child seems to have a knack for dwelling on the worst outcome of any given situation. Maybe some of you can relate. “We’re having WHAT for dinner? Ick!” | |||
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Jan
23
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As most of you know, I usually write about issues facing parents of young children for EP, but this past week something happened with my middle schooler that gave me pause. My son participated in the annual science fair, which in itself is not remarkable. What was remarkable was how many projects were clearly accomplished by the parents, and not the children. As I walked through the school gym looking at the winners, I started wondering how many projects and assignments kids really do on their own nowadays. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about parents helping, coaching, or even correcting their kids work. I’m talking about parents taking on their children’s assignments as their own, and letting their kids take a back seat. | |||
