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Dec
04
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 At 14 months old, my daughter Liv has begun to mimic all the day-to-day things I do around the house. I feel like I’m back in high school, where in my adolescent paranoia I felt like everyone was hyper-focused on me and scrutinizing each and every flaw. Only now the huge difference is that it’s true. (And it’s the most important person watching me—my daughter!) | |||
Blog Posts by Tina Wakefield
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Nov
19
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One of my main goals as a mom — and in my opinion, one of the most important qualities you can have as a parent — is to be more flexible and adaptable. Now, when I say “flexible” I don’t mean that you should throw rules, limits, or structure out the window. What I mean is that we all need to be open to trying new ideas and techniques when the old ones aren’t working anymore. | |||
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Oct
29
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There isn’t any better time than Halloween to pay tribute to the ghosts of our childhood past. Becoming a parent provides the unique opportunity to revisit these ghosts and see them in a whole new way. What do I mean by this? Many of us struggle with images from our childhood of parents or relatives who were very strict, very permissive, or just plain ill-equipped to parent. For some of us, our ghost may take the form a strict disciplinarian. We might struggle with setting limits in our own families for this reason, in our attempts to not be the same way. Or maybe you come from a family of certified yellers, and it’s difficult for you to keep calm and in control while you parent. | |||
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Oct
16
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Sep
25
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When I was younger my mother would regularly take to me to a nearby beach. We would normally spend some of that time walking along the beach, picking and choosing some things to inspect more closely as we went. One day I found a piece of seashell buried in the sand. I was expecting to discover that it was yet another fragment of a shell, but as I pulled on it, I felt resistance.  When it became completely dislodged, I was shocked to see that it was huge and beautiful. I remember being so excited—in my 7-year-old mind I tied the uniqueness of my ocean treasure to me being special in some way. I took it home and painted it blue and put the date on the bottom corner. Show-and-tell time came at school, and I was sure my prized object would elicit many ooh’s and ahh’s from my classmates; yet, as I placed it on my desk in preparation to share it, some boys started horsing around and bumped into my desk. In an instant, my prized shell became like all the other fragmented shells on the beach. I cried and cried, and no amount of reassurance made me feel better. | |||
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Sep
10
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School is here.  I know many parents out there are dreading that the year ahead will bring nightly battles over homework and morning struggles over getting your child out of bed. Parents can unintentionally take shortcuts when trying to change the behavior. I don’t think that could be any truer than when it comes to school-related issues. By the way, when I say “shortcuts” it has nothing to do with a good decision versus a bad decision as a parent; it’s more linked to this question: “Is the approach you’re using getting you any closer to the goal—is it really effective?” | |||
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Aug
27
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When it comes to teaching your child skills, remember to keep their eyes on the prize. This means reminding your child of what they enjoy doing and what privileges they’ll earn once their responsibilities have been met. Another part of this technique is looking for ways your child is improving or making an effort and commenting on that. When you can specifically state, “I saw you do this,” or “I heard you talking to your sister nicely…good job,” it shows you’re paying attention. | |||
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Aug
07
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If you listen to the news or read the paper, you know that more and more kids are living at home for longer periods of time. We often get calls on the Parental Support Line from parents of adult children who want to know how they can set guidelines down with their older kids, and when they should ask them to leave. If you’re the parent of an adult child who is living at home you are probably trying to figure out what your role is and what rules your child needs to adhere to while living in your home — because after all, your kid is grown up now and that changes things. You may be wondering when or if you should ask them to leave. | |||
