EmpoweringParents.com

I got a call from my son’s teacher last week. Apparently, he used an inappropriate word and perhaps a hand gesture to accompany it to another child. That child’s parent had called the principal. The principal asked my son Builder’s teacher to handle it. She did. Builder denied it ever happened.

I know better.

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I have just come from our therapist’s office and am feeling much calmer.  You read that right:  Dr. Joan is in therapy.

It all started when my husband and I began struggling, badly, with one of our kids who was displaying signs of Attention Deficit Disorder:  lack of focus at school, outbursts at home, blaming others for his problems, lying about homework.  My husband and I knew that this was an ongoing problem, but it all came to a head as our 10 year-old child entered a grade at school where everything gets moved up a notch and he began to struggle.  Being a psychologist, you’d think I would have gotten everything under control immediately, right?

Wrong.

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Children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder — ADHD or ADD — are often difficult to parent.  They can have trouble understanding important directions — and those with hyperactivity issues are usually in a constant state of activity! It’s an understatement to say that this can be a challenge to adults.  In my 25 years as a child psychologist, and as the father of a son with ADHD, I’ve found that it’s helpful to shift the way you think about parenting in some ways. (Warning: You may need to change your home life a bit to help your child!)

Here are 10 things you can do to help:

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Fact: for the child with ADHD, the difficult teen years are doubly hard. That’s because all the adolescent problems—peer pressure, the fear of failure both in school and with peers, low self-esteem—are harder for the ADHD child to handle. The desire to be independent, to try new and forbidden things—alcohol, drugs, and sexual activity—are ways that many teens with ADHD self-medicate. And you may wake up one morning to realize that the household rules that were working for years have been thrown out the window.

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Dr. Bob:

Help! I have a ten-year-old son with ADHD, and I’m dreading summer vacation. Last year was a disaster. He teased his younger brother and sister constantly, and was forever stomping around the house shouting “I’m bored!” — and then getting into trouble! Is there anything we can do this year to make the summer go more smoothly? I’m at my wit’s end and it’s only June!

–Janna P. in Kentucky

Dear Janna:

First of all, you’re not alone! I’ve talked to many, many parents who feel exactly the same way you do. The bottom line is that kids with ADHD have some special concerns, and it helps if parents can prepare a little ahead of time to ensure that the long stretch of summer vacation goes smoothly — and that their child is actually even learning something rather than getting into trouble all summer.

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When a set of parents — or a whole family — tries to deal with a child with ADHD in their midst without knowing what they are dealing with, the most well adjusted family can become quite dysfunctional. It’s the old “which came first ,the chicken or the egg?” conundrum.

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Can the behavior of kids with ADHD be turned around with praise and positive reinforcement? New research says, “Yes!”

A new study conducted in Germany found that boys ranging in age from 6 to 12 who were diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) were highly motivated to perform tasks successfully when they received ample doses of social reinforcement — i.e., smiles from the researchers.  In other words, social reinforcement improved their attention, concentration and impulse control (some of the primary symptoms of ADHD).  Other studies have indicated that positive social reinforcement also improves memory ability for these kids.

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If you’re the parent of a child with ADHD, check out the upcoming ADHD Family Summit. This is a free 6-week Teleseminar that you can listen to starting May 4th. Dr. Bob Myers, EP’s resident ADHD expert and creator of the Total Focus Program, will be participating in the ADHD Family Summit, along with 11 other professionals who specialize in the field of ADHD and ADD.

A few of the topics covered in the seminar:  “Understanding the ADHD Brain” with Theresa Cerulli, M.D.; “But My Child Is Really Bright…The Potential Overlap For Misdiagnosis And Overdiagnosis Of ADHD” with James T. Webb, Phd; “ADHD Medication Mastery - What You Really Need To Know About Safe And Effective Medication Management” with Kenny Handelman, M.D.; and “Mastering Total Focus To Help Support Your Loved Ones When They Need It the Most” with Dr. Bob Myers.

Starting May 4th, each one hour program will be held on Monday and Wednesday nights at 9 p.m. EDT. There will be a 24 hour replay in case you miss it live. All you have to do is register on the ADHD Family Summit site.

Hope this is helpful, and let us know if you participate!