This may sound strange, but during a recent visit of about ten local kids to our house I was more than a little relieved to come around the corner and catch a big brother roughing up a little brother.  Unaware that we were in the vicinity, the elder had just delivered an elbow thrust to the chest of the foot-shorter sibling and then followed up with a solid slam of his brother’s torso into the wall for good measure.  I thought to myself, “Whew! So it happens in other families, too.”

Read more »

Dear PSL: I’ve been trying to be more consistent with consequences for my 13-year-old son. The problem is, he won’t give up his iPod when he breaks the rules. When I tell him to give it to me, he just says “make me.” To be honest, a few times I have grabbed him to get it , but that just makes him more angry. Sometimes he even shoves me, so I just drop it and walk away. But then he “wins” – he gets to break the rules and keep his iPod. By the way, the iPod is the only thing he likes, so it’s the only thing I am able to take away when he misbehaves. It seems like we are always fighting over either the rules or the consequences. Also, giving a consequence for every bad behavior is just making everything worse. What do I do?

–Stumped Dad

Read more »

It is late January and my home is knee deep in the post-holiday let down, pre-birthday craze, cabin fever zoo/mess!  Now that I’ve finally packed up all the holiday “stuff” and the new toys have been well broken in, it seems we are back to hearing the mantra, “I’m bored!  There’s nothing to do…” and the incessant whining or fighting between the kids. Today, all I can think about is how spoiled my children can be!  They don’t even know how lucky they truly are; it saddens and frustrates me.  Granted we don’t have an extravagant lifestyle by any means, as we are somehow living on one income, but I do my best to provide games, toys and resources for the kids that, in my mind, enable them to never have “nothing” to do.  Of course every mother wishes her children would be grateful and enjoy what is offered, but too often they act as if it is just never enough.  Sometimes I just want to yell, “Enough!” myself!

Read more »

Two recent articles on Empowering Parents sharply caught my attention.  James Lehman’s recent article, “Differences in Parenting?  How Your Child May Be Using it Against You”, and EP Editor Elisabeth Wilkins’ blog, “Is Yelling the New Spanking?” both hit home.  I’m ashamed, but I must admit:  My fiancé and I occasionally roar at each other in full view of the children.

Read more »

A new study asks, “Are certain parenting techniques, like using commands with kids, short-circuiting brain development?” Tracking more than 8,000 children, the  findings suggest that regardless of socioeconomic background, small differences in communication style can have an impact on children. Evidently, “Mothers and fathers who mainly talk to their offspring using commands rather than reasoning, often get their kids to do what they want, but they may also be short-circuiting brain development.”

What!? So now arguing with mom and dad is a good thing?

Read more »

The call came early; the voice on the other end of the line was frantic.

“My kids are making me crazy,” my sister said.  “How am I supposed to get any work done with their constant fighting, yelling and arguing?”

I listened and shared stories of my own kids: backtalk, whining, complaining, and in-fighting.

Ahhhh, summer.

Read more »