EmpoweringParents.com

You thought you had $25 in your purse the last time you checked, but now you have $20 and can’t remember buying anything lately. Or maybe your daughter says she’s sleeping over at her best friend’s house, but all you hear her talk about is her boyfriend…you wonder, could she end up over there tonight?

Are there times when you’ve suspected your child may be behaving inappropriately but don’t know for sure?  As a parent, it is very likely that you will run into a situation where you have a hunch, but no concrete proof, that you’re child has made a poor choice.  This can be especially tricky because you want your child to be held accountable for breaking the rules; yet, it doesn’t necessarily make the most sense to accuse them of wrongdoing, only to end up being mistaken.

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It’s been a big year in parenting news, from “The World’s Meanest Mom” to the Nebraska Safe Haven law, controversy over the growing number of parents refusing vaccines, to the heartbreaking story, still unfolding, of Caylee Anthony. Here at EP, we’ve been blogging on these topics and more all year, and you’ve been responding in droves with your insights, opinions and questions. On behalf of everyone here at EP, thank you for reading and adding your voice to our community of 150,000 parents, grandparents, teachers, and caregivers.

So here they are, without further adieu — your top EP blog posts of 2008…

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Dear PSL:
Help! My teen-aged daughter’s room is a complete pigsty. I work hard to keep the house clean, but every time I walk past her door, I just get so frustrated. Clothes, half-eaten food, and papers everywhere. When I tell her to clean her room, she tells me she’ll do it “later.” When she does eventually get around to it, most times she just moves one pile of clothes to another part of her room. How can I get her to clean her room according to my specifications, which honestly, is just good hygiene?

Jenny in Peoria, Illinois

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Dear Parental Support:

I have two daughters, aged 12 and 8, and a son who’s 4. My problem is that none of  my kids can seem to talk without whining. They whine when it’s time to get up, when it’s time to go to bed, when we ask them to clean their rooms, turn off the TV, or do their summer reading. Is there any way we can stop this annoying habit? It’s driving me and my husband crazy!!!

–Heidi in Sacramento

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I need help with a power struggle with a 13 year old boy and his parents (us)… my son doesn’t want (refuses) to get his longish hair cut, we (parents) want it cut… I have canceled a recent haircut appointment so we can talk it over together, but that has resulted in nothing but my son “winning” the argument.

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Dear Parental Support Specialists,

We have two sons, ages 15 and 13. My 13-year-old is struggling in school. He is an athlete and I seem to always hold this consequence over him: “If you don’t get good grades, you are not going to play baseball.” But, now that I have read many of your articles, I don’t think that I am doing the right thing. Good grades and baseball don’t match according to the rule of “the punishment should fit the crime.”

Any suggestions?

Thanks, Lisa

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Parents frequently call me on the Parental Support Line to discuss respect. Some will say, “The ONLY thing I ask from my child is that they respect me.” They reason that if they are respected, their child will do everything they are asked to do, will not say anything impolite, and will be motivated by positive feelings toward their parent. These are terrific goals, but I’ve started to ask people not to even use the word “respect” when they talk to their children about their behavior, and I’ll explain why.

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Dear Carole,

My husband and I are trying to use natural consequences with our thirteen-year-old son as much as possible, but we had a disagreement lately about how to do it. When our son threw a fit because he wanted to meet up with his neighborhood friends (we said “no” because his homework wasn’t done) we told him that he needed to settle down or have some privileges taken away. His bad behavior escalated, so my husband took away his guitar for a week. I feel like it’s never a good idea to take away a creative outlet, and also something that my son loves so much. My husband thought it was a good consequence because it’s the thing that means the most to our son. What do you think?

–Confused about Consequences in CT Read more »