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Apr
21
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If you’re of a certain age, you were probably spanked as a child. It was the most powerful tool that every parent had at their very fingertips — the “big gun.” I was spanked as a kid, in fact, and so was my husband. I don’t think it taught me to behave better – it just taught me not to get caught, frankly. So when we had our son, we decided we wouldn’t do it, mostly because it seemed like spanking Alex would only teach him to resort to physical violence when he was upset or angry. Also, a lot of parents appear to spank out of anger — so we reasoned that they were just role modeling physical aggression to their kids. Our thinking was, “If we spank our child, won’t that make it easier for him to hit other kids?” | |||
Archive for the ‘Consequences & Rewards’ Category
Blog Posts by Elisabeth Wilkins, EP Editor
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Mar
11
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 When it comes to giving consequences, I think it’s important to find your kid’s lever, and use it. By their “lever” I mean whatever moves them – it could be time with their friends, their electronics, karate lessons, dance class, use of the car, etc. So in giving them more of a sense of connection (getting them to come to the table for family dinner) or more encouragement for independence (doing their own homework), what lever will you use? Read more » | |||
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Feb
17
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Dear PSL: I’ve been trying to be more consistent with consequences for my 13-year-old son. The problem is, he won’t give up his iPod when he breaks the rules. When I tell him to give it to me, he just says “make me.” To be honest, a few times I have grabbed him to get it , but that just makes him more angry. Sometimes he even shoves me, so I just drop it and walk away. But then he “wins” – he gets to break the rules and keep his iPod. By the way, the iPod is the only thing he likes, so it’s the only thing I am able to take away when he misbehaves. It seems like we are always fighting over either the rules or the consequences. Also, giving a consequence for every bad behavior is just making everything worse. What do I do? –Stumped Dad | |||
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Jan
29
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This week, we’re continuing to feature more winning entries from our recent contest, “Parenting Mistakes I’ve Made–and How I’m Going to Fix Them!” Each of these parents offers inspiration, encouragement and good, practical tips for all of us. Congratulations again! –Elisabeth, EP Editor | |||
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Oct
09
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Last week, I blogged about some things homeschoolers can do to manage their kids’ behavior. This week, I want to talk a little more about consequences, and how to use structure — and a reward system — to keep your kids on track. | |||
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Aug
27
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When it comes to teaching your child skills, remember to keep their eyes on the prize. This means reminding your child of what they enjoy doing and what privileges they’ll earn once their responsibilities have been met. Another part of this technique is looking for ways your child is improving or making an effort and commenting on that. When you can specifically state, “I saw you do this,” or “I heard you talking to your sister nicely…good job,” it shows you’re paying attention. | |||
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Aug
13
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Congratulations to the winners of our EP Contest, “This Parenting Technique Really Worked for Me!” We received so many great entries, it was truly hard to choose just ten. Thanks so much to everyone who participated! We’re featuring all the winning entries in our blog, with a response from Parental Support Line Advisor Carole Banks. And each of our winners will receive a signed copy of James Lehman’s new book, Transform Your Problem Child. Thank you all once again for writing in and sharing your transformation into an “Empowered Parent” with us! – Elisabeth Wilkins, EP Editor & the Empowering Parents Team ********* | |||
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Aug
07
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Congratulations to the winners of our EP Contest, “This Parenting Technique Really Worked for Me!” We received so many great entries, it was truly hard to choose just ten. Thanks so much to everyone who participated! For the next three weeks, we’ll be featuring the winning entries in our blog, with a response from Parental Support Line Advisor Carole Banks. And each of our winners will receive a signed copy of James Lehman’s new book, Transform Your Problem Child. Thank you all once again for writing in and sharing your transformation into an “Empowered Parent” with us! – Elisabeth Wilkins, EP Editor & the Empowering Parents Team | |||
