Over-parenting, over-praising and micro-managing your kids is suddenly out of fashion. What’s hip now? A revolutionary new idea: just letting them be. At least, that’s what a new article in the New York Times stated last week.

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As most of you know, I usually write about issues facing parents of young children for EP, but this past week something happened with my middle schooler that gave me pause.  My son participated in the annual science fair, which in itself is not remarkable. What was remarkable was how many projects were clearly accomplished by the parents, and not the children.  As I walked through the school gym looking at the winners, I started wondering how many projects and assignments kids really do on their own nowadays.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about parents helping, coaching, or even correcting their kids work.  I’m talking about parents taking on their children’s assignments as their own, and letting their kids take a back seat.

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I was on the playground the other day with my five-year-old, and I brought a book with me. You see, I was determined to actually sit on the bench and read while he played. A funny thing happened, though. All the other parents were standing close by their kids and directing their play. (Now, I understand why you would do this with a younger child or toddler, but I’m talking parents of eight-year-olds here.) The parents, who I didn’t know, kept looking over their shoulders at me, as if to say, “Why aren’t you in here helping your child?” My son was going up and down the slide and having a ball, so I didn’t get what the fuss was about. As I reluctantly got up to supervise him, it hit me: being a helicopter parent is starting to become the new norm.

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