“That’s not fair!” These are the words that are hurled over my 6-year-old son’s shoulder after learning he hasn’t won the cooking game.

We’re hosting a houseful of kids over the winter break and they’re taking over my kitchen, creating their own recipes and competing against each other, like on the popular cooking show Chopped.   Read more »

There isn’t any better time than Halloween to pay tribute to the ghosts of our childhood past.  Becoming a parent provides the unique opportunity to revisit these ghosts and see them in a whole new way. What do I mean by this? Many of us struggle with images from our childhood of parents or relatives who were very strict, very permissive, or just plain ill-equipped to parent. For some of us, our ghost may take the form a strict disciplinarian. We might struggle with setting limits in our own families for this reason, in our attempts to not be the same way.  Or maybe you come from a family of certified yellers, and it’s difficult for you to keep calm and in control while you parent.

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This week, EP Blogger and counselor Scott Wardell shares his thoughts about how to build character in kids. We think you’ll get a lot out of what he has to say! And please chime in if you have some good tips of your own to share.  — Elisabeth Wilkins, EP Editor

1. Make Parenting Your First Priority: Parents are busy.  We go to work, pay our bills, rush ourselves and other family members to activities, visit friends and relatives and yes, try to get some sleep.  But none of this “busyness” is real parenting.  Parenting involves the raising, teaching and nurturing of a child or children.  One of the main roles of a parent is to provide a safe environment where a child has a chance to grow physically, emotionally and socially.  It’s important that this environment allows a child an opportunity to build character.  Too often, we chose to make other activities in our lives a higher priority, leaving parenting to the daycare centers, schools and activity leaders.  Parenting is a privilege.  Make it your first priority.

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I think one of the most important things to introduce to our kids is the idea of empathy. Empathy says you should visit people when they’re sick in hospitals. Empathy says that we should want to feed the hungry. Certainly over the last 15 or 20 years, for a vast majority of the population, this quality has been lost or clouded over by other things. I think over the next couple of years, with the sharing of the pain that we’re going to feel nationally, you’re also going to see an elevated sense of empathy.  People are going to know what it’s like for the people who have nothing, because now many are going to have less.

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I have a theory about the three little ones (ages 10, 9 and 5) that I am raising. As a parent, I remind myself that I can build them up or tear them down when I don’t even know it.

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