Who hasn’t been at a child’s baseball, t-ball or soccer game gleefully cheering on their children, only to witness embarrassing behavior and even vulgar language coming from other fans? I’m always amazed at the messages sent by adults watching professional sports, but I’m actually shocked when I see some of that same behavior in the stands at a child’s sporting event.

Recently, I was at a high school girls’ soccer game where I witnessed a father screaming across the field at his daughter. I also watched as her participation and enthusiasm for the game decreased significantly. It was nothing short of sad to watch her head start to lower, her shoulders sink, her speed across the field decrease, and her participation shrink to walking up and down the field.  Prior to that, she had been one of the stars of the game. At one point the coach even quietly pulled the father aside to talk to him. It didn’t seem to help. That event has been haunting me ever since, because I felt helpless in changing the situation. In hindsight, I wish that I had known how to react or what to say to make the girl feel better or the father pipe down.

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Michael Phelps is back in the news. But this time instead of gracing the cover of Sports Illustrated as Sportsman of the Year, his face is splashed across the tabloids nose deep in a bong. I thought the one tabloid had a pretty catchy title, “What a dope.”

And to me that about summed it up: a really stupid move.

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Recently, the story of the high school girls’ basketball team who beat their opponents 100-0 hit home with me, partially because it reminded me of the years my husband spent coaching. Rather than this being news about the decision of one coach in Texas, I think this is also a testament to the bad situations facing coaches everywhere. They are working non-stop, typically have good hearts, are trying to meet the administration/school budget goals of creating teams that perform well and meet parents’ expectations of competitiveness, but THEN when they really need the support and backing of the parents and the administration, they are left to flap in the wind.

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OK, I have to start this blog post by saying that I am not a violent person. I don’t even like to watch violent movies. But what do you do when your kid is getting hurt and no adults are stepping in to help? Do you encourage them to fight back, or run away every time? What if they can’t run away? And is there ever a good time to fight back?

The reaction I had last week surprised me.

2 Saturdays ago, my husband Joe took our son Alex to soccer practice. He’s on the kindergarten soccer team, which basically entails a bunch of five and six-year-olds swarming the soccer ball in a big kid-sized clump and having a little fun.

Except last week. You see, there was a first grader on the opposing team who was knocking kids down left and right, and hitting, pushing and kicking anyone in his way (yes, even the girls). For some reason, this boy’s coach wasn’t doing anything to stop him. The kid’s dad was standing behind my husband saying, in a loud voice, “Well, this is a rough sport, you know? That’s the way the game is played,” and kind of chuckling a little.

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