Comments on: Ask PSL: “I Homeschool — and My House is a Battle Zone!” http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/school-and-homework/ask-psl-i-homeschool-and-my-house-is-a-battle-zone/ The Blog for Effective Parenting Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:04:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Dolores Mom http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/school-and-homework/ask-psl-i-homeschool-and-my-house-is-a-battle-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-6548 Dolores Mom Mon, 25 Jul 2011 18:37:40 +0000 http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/?p=1813#comment-6548 I've tied everything with my 7 yr old daughter...I have done everything that has been suggested...I am thinking about letting her go back to public school..I am so tired of the bad attitude...not getting her work done..at least I can have some peace for a few hours.. I’ve tied everything with my 7 yr old daughter…I have done everything that has been suggested…I am thinking about letting her go back to public school..I am so tired of the bad attitude…not getting her work done..at least I can have some peace for a few hours..

]]> By: Sara A. Bean, M.Ed., Parental Support Advisor http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/school-and-homework/ask-psl-i-homeschool-and-my-house-is-a-battle-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-6209 Sara A. Bean, M.Ed., Parental Support Advisor Wed, 06 Apr 2011 19:38:26 +0000 http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/?p=1813#comment-6209 Dear Brooke: It is so hard to be a mom and a teacher at the same time. James Lehman felt that consequences alone are not enough to change behavior. He also felt it was not helpful to focus on attitude or feelings; it’s most effective to focus on skill-building. The first thing I would recommend is to talk to your son about what’s going on—what is his reason for not wanting to do the work? Let him know his reason doesn’t make it okay to refuse; it’s his responsibility to get the work done no matter what. Talk about what he can do differently in the future to meet your expectations. You might have this conversation once a week or so until things start to improve. You could also set up an incentive system for your son to get his work done by a certain time. For example, each day if he gets his work done by 3:00pm, he gets extra time to play video games that night. Using consequences and incentives can motivate him to do the work despite how he feels about it. If you are using a structure like the one suggested in these homeschooling blogs, and experimenting with new techniques to get him re-engaged and excited about the subject matter, than you are doing your job very, very well. Hang in there. Dear Brooke: It is so hard to be a mom and a teacher at the same time. James Lehman felt that consequences alone are not enough to change behavior. He also felt it was not helpful to focus on attitude or feelings; it’s most effective to focus on skill-building. The first thing I would recommend is to talk to your son about what’s going on—what is his reason for not wanting to do the work? Let him know his reason doesn’t make it okay to refuse; it’s his responsibility to get the work done no matter what. Talk about what he can do differently in the future to meet your expectations. You might have this conversation once a week or so until things start to improve. You could also set up an incentive system for your son to get his work done by a certain time. For example, each day if he gets his work done by 3:00pm, he gets extra time to play video games that night. Using consequences and incentives can motivate him to do the work despite how he feels about it. If you are using a structure like the one suggested in these homeschooling blogs, and experimenting with new techniques to get him re-engaged and excited about the subject matter, than you are doing your job very, very well. Hang in there.

]]> By: Brooke http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/school-and-homework/ask-psl-i-homeschool-and-my-house-is-a-battle-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-6190 Brooke Mon, 04 Apr 2011 20:43:11 +0000 http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/?p=1813#comment-6190 Hi there. I am a new homeschooling mom this year to a 6th grader boy. We are doing unit study in ancient history. The first 6 months of school went by easily and we really enjoyed learning together and the materials. Then my son's attitude towards the work changed. He didn't like doing the same kind of work everyday. He felt burnt out on the same "way" we schooled. I tried to add more hands on things to do, field trips, lessening of subjects. This really did not help and he began the downward spiral with a terrible attitude unwilling to do his work at all. As soon as he sees it, he melts. He doesn't want to have a good attitude to do the work at all. We have tried everything! We are at our wits end. I feel like a failure in teaching him, though he reassures me that I'm not. He knows alot of it is his own doing. We use consequences for disobedience, but it still doesn't help. Any suggestions? Thanks! Hi there. I am a new homeschooling mom this year to a 6th grader boy. We are doing unit study in ancient history. The first 6 months of school went by easily and we really enjoyed learning together and the materials. Then my son’s attitude towards the work changed. He didn’t like doing the same kind of work everyday. He felt burnt out on the same “way” we schooled. I tried to add more hands on things to do, field trips, lessening of subjects. This really did not help and he began the downward spiral with a terrible attitude unwilling to do his work at all. As soon as he sees it, he melts. He doesn’t want to have a good attitude to do the work at all. We have tried everything!
We are at our wits end. I feel like a failure in teaching him, though he reassures me that I’m not. He knows alot of it is his own doing. We use consequences for disobedience, but it still doesn’t help. Any suggestions? Thanks!

]]> By: Lisa Russell http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/school-and-homework/ask-psl-i-homeschool-and-my-house-is-a-battle-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-3620 Lisa Russell Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:08:46 +0000 http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/?p=1813#comment-3620 I think that one problem homeschoolers have is trying to duplicate a classroom environment at home. homes aren't supposed to function like schools. Schools are an institution, with a military-like social structure whereby orders are given by a supreme leader and supposed to be fulfilled without question. For a peaceful homescooling life, embrace love and learning without the silly workbooks, busywork and "list of things to learn." I think that one problem homeschoolers have is trying to duplicate a classroom environment at home. homes aren’t supposed to function like schools. Schools are an institution, with a military-like social structure whereby orders are given by a supreme leader and supposed to be fulfilled without question. For a peaceful homescooling life, embrace love and learning without the silly workbooks, busywork and “list of things to learn.”

]]> By: Lisa http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/school-and-homework/ask-psl-i-homeschool-and-my-house-is-a-battle-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-3343 Lisa Wed, 07 Oct 2009 04:04:08 +0000 http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/?p=1813#comment-3343 I home school my 11 year old boy. Recently I have begun taking the computer keyboard and mouse away and hiding it in the morning. He knows he can have it "after school", at 2:30 pm but not until all lessons have been satisfactorily completed. The computer has to be shut down early enough at night now (I shut mine down too) to get to bed in time (reading is okay) so he's able to get up at a reasonable time in the morning to get started. This has been much more successful than I thought it would be. I don't nag him, but sometimes give him a reminder so he can meet his goals. He's actually been getting it done! It has been a lot less stressful for me, too. And this is a kid who's had a lot of resistance to things in the past. I mean A LOT! Small steps have gotten us to this point. It has paid off. This maneuver has been the most successful so far, everybody wins. I think this approach is working because I give him some leeway in how and when he achieves his goals. He has no one to blame but himself if it's not done and he actually is getting the payoff of being in control (somewhat) and building confidence that he can accomplish things more successfully than he previously ever thought he would be able to. I home school my 11 year old boy. Recently I have begun taking the computer keyboard and mouse away and hiding it in the morning. He knows he can have it “after school”, at 2:30 pm but not until all lessons have been satisfactorily completed. The computer has to be shut down early enough at night now (I shut mine down too) to get to bed in time (reading is okay) so he’s able to get up at a reasonable time in the morning to get started.

This has been much more successful than I thought it would be. I don’t nag him, but sometimes give him a reminder so he can meet his goals. He’s actually been getting it done! It has been a lot less stressful for me, too. And this is a kid who’s had a lot of resistance to things in the past. I mean A LOT! Small steps have gotten us to this point. It has paid off. This maneuver has been the most successful so far, everybody wins.

I think this approach is working because I give him some leeway in how and when he achieves his goals. He has no one to blame but himself if it’s not done and he actually is getting the payoff of being in control (somewhat) and building confidence that he can accomplish things more successfully than he previously ever thought he would be able to.

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