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Jan
23
Parent Blogger

I am probably the only parent looking at a child’s grades and saying, “A’s & B’s? HOW CAN THAT BE? I want answers!” My stepson is in the 6th grade. He comes home each night and struggles with his homework. We have determined that he skims — everything. He skims the directions. He skims the reading assignment. He guesses at multiple choice. He will copy sentences the teacher wrote, word for word, as an answer. If asked to reword in is own words, he will change one word. If asked to write 3-5 sentences, you can be sure he will write 3, but say the same thing, 3 different ways. He cannot spell; he mixes capital letters with lower case. He writes above the line and over top of other letters below. He has no clue how to use punctuation. The curious thing is that his work is considered acceptable.

He will do a workbook assignment for Reading class homework and it will be so completely wrong. It will be obvious he did not follow the directions, or that he used the directions from a previous assignment. Sometimes we have him redo, but we have since discovered that the teacher does not actually READ the homework, but walks by to see that it is done. He could fill the page with anything and get full credit! Okay, so I get that homework is not a huge percentage of the grade. So, what is he doing in class? Is his work completely different in class than at home? Is he copying from the kid next to him? Is the teacher spending tons of extra time explaining to him? Isn’t homework an extension of what was learned in class that day? Does he just forget everything he learned by evening? How is it possible that he can absolutely have no clue when it comes to homework time but still have an A in the class?

I have seen papers he has written for homework. They are awful. He will do them quickly and miss the point of the assignment entirely. I have asked him to rewrite, explaining what it was he was supposed to have done. He will then redo it pretty closely to what was expected. I know he CAN do it. But if this is what he does at homework time, what is he turning in during the day? Would the teacher have accepted the first paper, had he not rewritten it? The interesting thing is that when he does the rewrites, he does it on his own, many times not even using any examples I pointed out to him. He could have done it correctly the first time, but never does! When we talk with him it’s easy to figure out where he went wrong, or where he got the answers he got. He needs to be redirected and we need to explain step-by-step. Sometimes he will even say a teacher never mentioned a particular topic in class and he is clueless as to how to do the assignment that evening.

As for multiple choice, it is so obvious he is guessing. He should play the horses! How long can you pass school with guesses? A very clear example is a paper he did recently. He had to read about birds and their habitats. This particular bird lives in Canada but migrates to Texas. When asked where the bird lived, one choice was Texas. He chose that. I read the passage myself and saw that a sentence stating where the bird lived was at the beginning of the paragraph, but underneath was a new sentence about Texas. He pulled out the words “lives” and “Texas” which jumped right off the page because they were right on top of one another. Obviously that was marked wrong, but several were correct. He admitted he never even read the passage! Are his passing grades pure luck? When will his luck run out?

When he moved in with us he started 4th grade in a different county from where he lived with his mom. We discovered he had not learned how to write in cursive.  When we spoke with his teachers, they looked at us as if we were asking something ridiculous. They told us cursive is not important and they would not be teaching it. I mentioned that his printing was horrible and they said if they could read it, it was fine.

Are my expectations too high? This is not my first child, nor is he the only child who has gone through the same county’s public school system. He is also not the only one of the children to have ADHD. ADHD children tend to do the least amount of work possible. When asked to write 3-5 sentences, they will write only 3. But my other boys, although they also only wrote the three, seemed to write what the teacher was asking. They both learned cursive in elementary school. The teachers corrected their papers with proper letter formation, capitalization, and punctuation. My older son had a teacher in second grade who insisted he have a smaller desk so he could sit properly, feet on the floor (not folded up under him), so he could form letters correctly.

My stepson recently got a progress report from a teacher. He threw it down in frustration because he could not read it. She had written in cursive! We mailed a letter together recently and he had no idea where to put the stamp or where his address or the recipient’s would go. In this age of computer are children not being taught these skills? As mentioned above, I have two older children. My oldest is 21, the next one 14. There is a 7-year gap in their schooling, and now this one is 3 years behind the 14 year old. Have things changed that dramatically in such short a time?

I have gone to school over the years to meet with teachers and see where my children needed assistance when their grades were not good. I do not expect children to pull straight As. I did not go to teachers and demand that my children get better grades. I worked with the teachers and my children to get whatever grade they could earn honestly. If they got a poor grade for not turning papers in on time or doing poor work, then they dealt with the grade. Going to school now and asking why this child is getting A’s for work that is clearly not A work is another ballpark altogether!

Emmie is the mom of two boys, ages 15 and 21, both with ADHD, bipolar disorder, anxiety and depression. She is remarried and her husband also has two boys, ages 12 and 14. Emmie says, “There is always something happening at our house!”


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6 Responses

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  • CAMomof3 Says:

    I as sure you are not alone! I’d be curious to hear what state you reside? I am a parent (in CA) of 3 ages 20, 12 & 9. I have experienced similar w/ my 2 oldest, and I would say since the oldest was also in Jr High.

    In Ca, in my opinion, the child:teacher ration is not sufficient. Therefore, some teacher are not correcting work. Kids are not forced to make corrections & learn from their mistakes. I have heard the teachers have no time for this b/c the have a million students & they are forced to move on to keep up w/ the state standards. This is not working CA!!

    Particularily in math in our district. There is such a need to move to the next chapter, that kids are not able to comprehend each lesson completely. I have seen new/young teachers come in w/ such passion doing a fine job only to be forced to follow suite therefore the kids fall behind. Very sad!

    The schools are discontinuing cursive is what I read recently. Many states have already implemented this. Similar to how Kindergartener no longer learn to tie their shoes; & elementary age not learning to write properly (starting from the top down & forming letters left to right. No one corrects them!) As well learning to use a dictionary & address an envelope. I hear you loud an clear!

    I am an involved parent, but w/ 2 in school & experiencing the same I worry how I could even hold a f/t job. KUDOS to you for being an active step-parent. I wish that were the same in our family.

    For a period I visited the classroom daily (2 straight wks) to verify all classwork was completed, as well as homework & in on time. I review homework (same as you noted… blanks word just filled in to appear as if the work was complete, yet receiving full credit.) & make my son do corrections.

    If need, I have brought attention to the principal. What I have found w/ my middle schooler is that he follows suite of his teachers concerning expectations. If he can get away w/ it, he WILL. If his teacher has an engineering mentality, he will be more detailed.

    I vote to make the class sizes in our schools smaller, & for teachers to be in the classroom available for students 7am – 4pm Monday – Thursday. And for the state mandates in Ca to change b/c they are NOT working for our students.

    With 3 kids having gone through this same district I commend the handful of teachers that choose to make a difference!!

  • sgyuris Says:

    I read the full article and believe me, for a second I thought that you were describing my child. Due to the poor education he was getting in the USA, we moved to another country (among other reasons). He is in 6th grade now and has improved a lot. HIs penmanship was atrocious in the US. I have to admit that I lost hope, I just agreed reluctantly w/his teachers that as long as whatever he writes is readable, then it is fine. However, this was not fine to me. I knew that he could do better. In 5 months here, his penmanship has improved dramatically. It is so sad that teachers in the US (not every single one), but a lot just care about having the kids passing the tests in order not to fail the school in the district. Kids can do a lot.. but they need to be pushed both at home and at school. Teachers need to check every single piece of homework.. ask them to correct what was wrong. Take quizes on a regular basis.. trimestral tests.. otherwise, the kids just jump from grade to grade with such a poor knowledge that it scares me when the time comes to apply for college.

  • SaraCarbone Says:

    Emmie, your situation with your stepson sounds pretty frustrating. I’m a private tutor and I’ve seen this kind of problem with several students over the years. Their work is not being checked carefully (or is being “assessed” by peers, which does very little). I do agree with CAMomof3’s comment that teachers are racing to keep up with state requirements, etc.

    I would suggest bringing in someone to fill in the gaps (unless you or your husband can do this as well). Even a bright high school student to go over homework a couple of times a week might help, if not an all-out tutor. Also, it might help to compile all his work from the year – or at least the second half of the year – and slowly correct and go over it in the summer. Summer can work, as he has less time pressure/demands. That way he can be caught up going into 7th grade. There is a series called Core Knowledge which lays out the requirements for each grade – the one entitled What Your Sixth Grader Needs to Know may help with summer brush up.

    Good luck.

  • Jennifer Says:

    You are so right. I think parents of children with big age gaps are the only ones that can see this.

    An the solution to many is make the school day longer. Why if you are cutting out so much? The basics never change. It is why they are basic.

    Learning this stuff doesn’t take months only a day or two and it doesn’t take hours of instruction. The practicing part takes time and it isn’t hard to overlap some topics to get extra practice.

    So I just do not understand why schools are cutting what they are cutting. If you really look at the state requirements it is pretty straight forward.

    The way they wrote it out will seem over whelming but if a teacher actually put check marks out by what they normally taught in a year they would see they already covered tons of it.
    I am surprise at how many do not use the state requirements as a checklist and compare with what they are doing anyway.

    Those requirements do have gaps but it was meant as a to include but not restricted to type of list. I do not understand why no one gets that.

  • frustratedmom Says:

    You sound like you are writing my life. My son and my step son are only two years and two months apart but are worlds apart in the education department.One of the problems I believe came when they stopped teaching phonics and hand writing in Elementary school. The only difference in their schooling is that they went to different schools for fourth and fifth grade and I home-schooled my son for preschool/kindergarten. My step son cannot read nor write cursive and we were told the same thing that they don’t teach it anymore.His hand writing in 7th almost 8th grade is almost illegible and even when we have asked for this to be addressed they tell us it isn’t a concern and spelling forget it because they don’t teach PHONICS! He reads plenty but does not comprehend. My step son is in middle school. This school does not hold children accountable for their grades.He can fail a test and the teacher just says it is ok we are taking a retake.If he doesn’t hand the work in at all he still gets points or if he is given a time that something is due he wont hand it in on time and they just give him longer to get it done. WHAT! I don’t even look at the As and Bs he brings home on the report card. I consider those the teachers grades that they have given them selves. This school is setting him up for failure in life. When do children learn accountability for their choices and behaviors. Teachers are so worried about the state testing that they have been made to lose site of the child. They really are faking the grades. I have said for years that No Child Left Behind, actually =s Every Child Left Behind! I am homeschooling my son for high school!

  • azmom Says:

    I’m a mother from Sunny AZ and feel all of your frustrations. My 7th grade son is an honor student at what AZ calls an A+ school and his English teacher is just passing him so she doesn’t have to deal with him or us. He is missing grammar and punctuation in his assignments (all assignments are done in class by the way due to AZ new Springboard).
    Some of his writing is so illegible that he can’t even read what he wrote; but yet his teacher is giving him A’s and B’s. When we bring anything up to his school, his English teacher puts it all back on him saying it is his responsibility to do his work and learn. But she is not teaching him nor requiring him to do quality work. Which if this was homework and not class work, I would have made him rewrite his papers and correct his mistakes.
    As parents we have high expectations for our children, and expect that our children’s teachers are preparing them for college. But instead I am finding the teachers are setting him up to fail.
    Since most of you posting are talking about your son’s then you know that with male behavior if you accept the minimum they will continue to do the minimum. These kinds of teachers that are not teaching our children are setting them up to fail in college.
    Right now, we are searching for another school to place our son in.
    And I now agree with states that want to give the parents more power by letting them decide what schools get the state funding for their child. There are some great charter schools out there but because they don’t get the same funding as public schools, they don’t have the space to accept more children. In our case, we are just hoping a space opens up. Because like most of you, I can’t afford to stay home and home school our son or sit in his class to ensure his teacher is educating him.

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