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Sex. Drugs. More sex. More drugs. Parents and teachers who are complete idiots. Just another day in the life of the average high school kid. And just another TV series that’s going to make parenting even more difficult.
That was my takeaway from the premiere of the much-talked-about MTV series Skins.
I watched it because the promos sucked me in. MTV’s version of the edgy British drama (which is named for the papers kids use to roll joints) was going to push the envelope like never before in its dramatization of the role of sex and drugs in teen life. It was going to be a new chapter in what you can get away with on TV before 11 pm.
It was all that, for sure. But that’s not what really bothered me. It’s their portrayal of parents and teens that I think is really troublesome. In The Total Transformation Program, James Lehman talks about a common media portrayal of kids and parents that teens readily buy into. We’re hip, slick and cool. Parents are inept. If our parents would just leave us alone, we could figure everything out for ourselves. I’ve never seen a TV program that pushes this perception more seductively or with more arrogance than this one.
In the world according to Skins, “hip, slick and cool” means you smoke pot with your friends in the school bathroom, in a stolen SUV, and on the way to another weeknight party. It means you practically have sex in the school cafeteria and no one bats an eye. It means you have no homework, no responsibility, no consequences for any action, and you pretty much know it all.
In the world according to Skins, parents know nothing. They don’t talk. They scream—until the veins pop out of their necks. Parents are non-existent and as inconsequential as dryer lint. They are disinterested voices from behind the wall. Teachers are mentally and emotionally unbalanced. All they want to do is sleep with their students, because…well…they’re so hip, slick and cool.
I guess my biggest beef is that Skins normalizes all these perceptions of teens and the adults in their lives, in a drama that kids will be drawn to because it’s risky and seductive. And we don’t need that. It’s just one more thing that erodes the power of parents.
All that being said, I think you need to watch this show. Because I guarantee your kids are watching it online. You need to see what they are watching so you can assert the influence that shows like this take away.
Did you see the premiere? What did you think? If not, watch it and weigh in on EP. Let’s see where this show goes. Will the role of parents change, or will they continue to be ineffective or absent?
Cheryl Kepner is Vice-President of Creative at Legacy Publishing Company and the producer of The Total Transformation Program. She has four stepdaughters and three grandchildren.
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January 20th, 2011 at 5:53 pm
I watched about 10 minutes of this movie online and had to turn it off. It is so offensive. If parents do think their kids are watching this, I do hope they will discuss the issues raised with them.
January 22nd, 2011 at 4:46 am
Thank you for the nice informative article. I will prepare myself to meet the challenges of raising adolescence. For now, I will try definitely be alert to attend my children whenever they have any concerns.
You raise many important points. The media’ perception versus real life patenting are inaccurate. Great article!
January 22nd, 2011 at 8:02 am
Thanks for this article. This trend has been creeping in for decades. Perhaps hot as grossly but the message has been there. Think of the movie Little Women, with the removable of the mother as the key figure that was hardly noticed by the movie-goer. Think more recently of the whole Harry Potter series. Notwithstanding 1 or 2 wise, bit distant figures. And I believe today’s kids acting is a result of the kind of influence as seen on Skins, but parents’ own abdication of authority, which ironically, makes kids more insecure and more prone to act out.
January 24th, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Cheryl, thank you for blogging on this destructive trend. I recently watched an interview with some of the young actors from Skins, who said, “We don’t know why parents are offended. This is what every teen in America is doing.” (In my mind, this normalizes the behavior even more, and makes kids who don’t engage in this kind of behavior feel like “unhip outsiders.”) Incidentally, the show is getting great reviews in the popular media. Critics are hailing the show for “pushing the envelope.” Give me a break.
If it’s cool to show underage kids having sex, doing drugs, stealing and drinking, it really makes you wonder what’s next. Where do we go from here?
January 25th, 2011 at 7:59 am
Unfortunately, what drives our society is money. These type of programs wouldn’t exist if millions of viewers weren’t tuning in to watch them. But I guess free speech includes the freedom to seduce our children into destructive behaviors. And it’s effects are not isolated to the kids watching the show because those kids will show up at my kid’s school where they will help set the standard and mentality of that entire generation. What is a parent to do? Certainly talking to our kids about the consequences of these types of behaviors helps, but it seems a flimsy defense against peer pressure.
January 25th, 2011 at 9:37 am
The media is wicked in soooo many ways…but that’s another story…
The really sad part about this is that THIS what society has become. And yes, if your kids see this as being “normal”, then that is how they want to be in order to fit in.
All you can do is teach your kids that this is NOT normal, and they do NOT want to emulate that behavior, unless they really do want to spend most of their adult life in jail!
January 25th, 2011 at 11:47 am
This show is a great example of “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!” While it might seem I mean “join the behaviors” that is NOT the case. What I mean is, if you think your child might be watching this show online or at a friends house or in your home, tell them “You may absolutely watch this show – but only with me.” An hour of watching this (garbage) and discussing it with them is an hour and a half of good parenting. And much more likely to succeed than just banning it.
January 25th, 2011 at 1:37 pm
NADM: Your suggestion to tell the kids they may only watch the show with their parents is very rational and sane. I would like to add (as a parent of an 18 and 19 yr old) it is also sadly unrealistic. My kids, as teens, knew my rules. One chose to nod his head, say “ok” and run promptly out to do exactly what i’d told him not to. The other would sass and argue with me about why she thought my point or my rule was wrong, but in most cases she did the right thing. My husband would allow our son to drink beer with him thinking if he was allowed at home he wouldn’t do it with his friends. Seriously? Sure he’ll drink a beer with dad but he had much more fun partying with his friends drinking, smoking tobacco and pot and trying everything he could and most of the time we never knew until way in the future what he’d been up to. Yes, make rules and enforce them, but do not be naive- kids break rules whether you watch with them, drink with them etc. One day, hopefully, they’ll grow up.
January 25th, 2011 at 2:22 pm
I have not seen it. But based on your article and the comments, I will sit to watch it. This is the opportunity I will take to make this sitcom a tool on awareness. I may even sit with my grandchildren at times to show them how crazy life is when there is no knowledge. Because I teach them that, “Knowledge is Power”. Teach them that those situations in life is like a disease that will destroy their minds, body, spirit and self. Thanks for this warning, very good. TV is just not like it use to be 50 years ago. Lord have mercy on us all.
January 25th, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Surprise! Surprise! Or should I say, not surprised at all. If it is produced, funded, sponsored, aired or has any other connection to MTV, it will be crude, rude and socially unacceptable…to those of us with even a modicum of wisdom, that is. Just the fact that it was an MTV movie, I probably could have written a similar review as what you wrote without seeing one second of the movie (which I avoided like a plague).
We have watched this type of moral depravity creeping into our lives from MTV and so many other media that none of us who are over thirty-something should be surprised. In the names of “pushing the envelope,” “freedom of speech,” “creative genius,” and so many other gutterly monikers, we are watching the rotting of our moral fiber in this country.
I believe the advice to watch the show, especially with your adolescent child, is utterly distasteful and ludicrous. We ALL know what “issues” will be presented and no amount of discussing the issues as they are raised in the program will dissuade the child from experimentation.
Any of us who were products of the 60s and 70s understand what is being promoted here, and hopefully we learned what did and did not work with us as impressionable young people.
Moral truth presented in a calm and loving way, while seemingly being ignored at the time, will get into their psyche and plant more good than the wickedness being presented in these flashy , peer-pressured, and seductive diatribes. Moral truth doesn’t need to be argued against the filth. It just needs to be planted, watered and nurtured. Truth can fight its own battles.
An ancient proverb says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he shall not depart from it.” Good planting!
January 26th, 2011 at 4:51 pm
The media and networks makes money on getting the most viewers to watch……therefore, they report taboos or sensationalize lifestyles. Skins is no exception, yet as this show depicts ‘unusual’ lifestyles of teens, they in turn normalize it in the minds of teens over time or numb these kinds of acts in the minds of teens. Unfortunately, this is a disservice to our society.
As a parents of two teenager boys, I realize what I do or don’t do matters but they are the ones who have to ultimately make the right choice. When we are not with our teens more and more as they get older, one can only hope our teachings has ‘sunk in’.
On the other hand, we do have the option to eliminate the option of watching that channel completely using the TV parental controls.
The bottom line here is that it really does take a ‘village to raise children’ and the sooner the media/networks gets on-board with this notion the better!
January 27th, 2011 at 11:37 am
This type of programming can be dealt with. Parents generally make the purchases in the home. Parents also need to let the advertisers of shows like this know that it is inexcusable for them to support this programming. Not that their products will not be found in your home… The next thing you know, you will most likely say goodbye to the show. “Skins” is very short lived because of this very process, at least in the form that you find it now.
February 8th, 2011 at 10:10 pm
I am so thankful Cheryl for this brave post. You present opinions from reality without getting pontifical and boring. MTV’s Skins program should not be tolerated. I hope there will be an organization who will petition to ban such kind of shows. Yes, I agree much that it makes our parenting even more difficult to perform.
December 3rd, 2011 at 7:08 pm
I have not seen this show yet. I don’t know why but I am always surprised when I discover how parents are not involved in their teens’ lives as much as they could be and so am not at all surprised at how parents are portrayed in this series. Inept? Incompetent? Clueless? Sadly, yes to all those things. Mostly because parents choose to be. When they are aware of what their teens are doing, they are indifferent at worst; at best, they feel helpless. Teenage girl having sex? Put her on the pill. Teen son caught looking at porn? Let him continue to have his own computer and Internet in his room. We scream and argue with them but then we sabotage our own efforts by not being consistent and walking the walk ourselves, if we even care that much. Just my own observations in the people around me–neighbors, extended family, my kids’ classes. It’s parenting outside the boundaries where kids at an early age are allowed to do things and indulge in behaviors that are not age appropriate and Mom and Dad have to struggle to train the child out of the habit or behavior later. When this happens, Mom and Dad can only look silly and incompetent. That is the opposite of a parent who is empowered and that doesn’t mean having power over the child but empowered to help the child reach his potential and be a success in life. In order to do that, parents must take an interest in their kids’ lives. Let them talk and listen to them. The talking comes early and if you don’t set that up before they’re teenagers, it’ll most likely never happen once they become teenagers. I daresay the kids in the series mentioned above have never had a parent listen to them. I don’t think parents realize the influence they could have early on in their child’s life–friends, music, habits…I believe that’s key in directing and guiding a child through their early years into the teen years.