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Parenting Articles about Aggression

One of the most difficult things to manage as a parents is aggression in children. If your child or teen is aggressive and acts out physically or verbally, you need to do something about it. Our experts tell you what steps you need to take to learn how to manage aggression.
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Disrespectful Kids: How to Get Your Child or Teen to Behave with Respect

Disrespectful Kids: How to Get Your Child or Teen to Behave with Respect

We all know that kids can act in many disrespectful and rude ways to parents: they can slam doors, roll their eyes, and tell you they hate you, to name a few.It’s natural to get very worried and frustrated and wonder if these types of behaviors constitute out-and-out abuse, or just “rudeness and mild disrespect.” How can a parent know when these rebellious and rude behaviors have crossed over a boundary and gone way too far?

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Signs of Parental Abuse: What to Do When Your Child or Teen Hits You

Signs of Parental Abuse: What to Do When Your Child or Teen Hits You

Jennifer’s son began hitting her when he was 14 years old. “I just didn’t know what to do,” she told us. “If anyone else had hit me, I would have called the police. But this was my son! I didn’t want him arrested but I wanted the abuse to stop. I was ashamed to admit to my family what was going on and I knew they would take action, even if I didn’t. The situation was intolerable but I couldn’t take action. I felt trapped, like I was in a car without brakes.”

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Anger, Rage and Explosive Outbursts: How to Respond to Your Child or Teen's Anger

Anger, Rage and Explosive Outbursts: How to Respond to Your Child or Teen's Anger

Everyone gets mad sometimes, children and adults alike. Anger is an emotion that can range from slightly irritated to moderately angry, all the way to full-blown rage. A child’s anger often makes us feel uncomfortable, so there can be a natural tendency to try and change the situation for your child, so the anger will evaporate.Or on the flip side, it’s easy to fall into the trap of “bringing down the hammer,” to put a stop to the anger through intimidation or punishment. But the fact is, your child will experience situations that may trigger anger throughout life. You can’t stop the triggers, but you can give your child the tools to understand anger and deal with it.

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6 Ways to Manage Tantrums, Misbehavior and Meltdowns During the Holidays

6 Ways to Manage Tantrums, Misbehavior and Meltdowns During the Holidays

If you have a child or teen who misbehaves, the holidays can be a source of infinite stress and anxiety. Your individual expectations of the holidays can be seriously at odds: you expect to have a nice, shared time with your whole family and maybe attend some larger family gatherings; they expect to get every gift they demand, and they intend to spend their school break staying up late, sleeping in, and playing video games. The resulting holiday season can be filled with tantrums, obnoxious behavior, and lots of yelling and screaming.

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Stop Aggressive Behavior in Kids and Tweens: Is Your Child Screaming, Pushing and Hitting?

Stop Aggressive Behavior in Kids and Tweens: Is Your Child Screaming, Pushing and Hitting?

When a child is aggressive toward others – hitting, screaming, pushing, throwing things – the natural response of the people around him is to withdraw. It’s frightening to see someone whose anger has reached a point where it seems out of control. If your elementary or middle school-age child is behaving aggressively toward others, it’s important to address the issue now, before it escalates to serious consequences such as suspension, legal problems or serious harm to others.

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How to Manage Aggressive Child Behavior

How to Manage Aggressive Child Behavior

I’ve talked with a lot of parents who feel out of control in the face of their child’s anger and aggression. In fact, I can’t tell you how many moms and dads have said, “I feel like I’m failing at parenting.” In my opinion, it’s not so important why you as a parent aren’t effective at times—what’s more important is what you do about it. The very first step is to be aware of the patterns that have been created over the years with your child. Ask yourself, “What's the behavior I’m seeing, and what am I doing in reaction to it?”

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Angry Child Outbursts: The 10 Rules of Dealing with an Angry Child

Angry Child Outbursts: The 10 Rules of  Dealing with an Angry Child

Mikayla, age 13, has just been told she can’t go to her friend’s house. “You need to clean your room first,” says her mom, “You promised to do that, remember? ”Mikayla gets in her mother’s face and screams, “You’re the meanest mom in the world! I hate you!” She turns and runs into her bedroom, slamming the door. “That’s it! You’re grounded, young lady,” her mom shouts back. She’s left feeling exhausted and defeated, and unsure if she’s done the right thing.

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Aggressive Child Behavior Part II: 7 Tools to Stop Fighting in School and at Home

Aggressive Child Behavior Part II: 7 Tools to Stop Fighting in School and at Home

In part 2 of this two-part series, James discusses exactly what to do when your children get in trouble for fighting at school or at home—and the right kinds of consequences to give them so they learn to use appropriate behavior instead of lashing out when they feel like hitting someone the next time. Read on to find out the steps you can take toward resolving the problem of fighting at school, plus get advice on how to handle fights that break out between siblings at home!

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Aggressive Child Behavior Part I: Fighting in School and at Home

Aggressive Child Behavior Part I: Fighting in School and at Home

Does your child always seem to get in trouble for fighting? You’ve tried talking to him, but the aggressive behavior hasn’t stopped—he still roughhouses with his siblings at home to the point of injury, brawls with kids on the bus and gets into fistfights at school. In part 1 of this two-part series on aggressive child and teen behavior, James Lehman explains why kids get into fights in the first place—and tells you the three basic types of fighting that you need to address as a parent.

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Passive-Aggressive Child Behavior: Hidden Anger in Kids

Passive-Aggressive Child Behavior: Hidden Anger in Kids

Does your child take forever to get up, eat breakfast and do his homework and chores? You nag, threaten and repeat yourself, but he still doesn’t seem to pay attention to anything you say. Here, James Lehman explains the passive-aggressive ways kids control you—and how they use it to avoid responsibility.

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Hitting, Biting and Kicking: How to Stop Aggressive Behavior in Young Children

Hitting, Biting and Kicking: How to Stop Aggressive Behavior in Young Children

“I’m not allowed to bring Ben to play group anymore,” said Sarah, whose son is now five years old. “The last time we went, he bit another boy who was playing with a truck Ben wanted. And the time before that, he hit a little girl across the face. I try to tell him ’no’ but he just doesn’t listen, so I end up apologizing for him. I’m starting to feel like the world’s worst parent because I can’t control him when he acts out.”

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The Impact of #RayRice: Talking About Domestic Violence with Your Kids

Blogger On Monday, you couldn't turn on the news or go online without coming face-to-face with the horrific video of Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée while they were in an elevator. And while another video had previously surfaced showing him dragging her unconscious out of the elevator, this was an added information bite that led to an indefinite suspension for the player. It seemed like everyone, including President Obama, weighed in on the incident. It was a heinous act, one that deserved the resulting consequences. I tried to avoid seeing the video, myself. After all, seeing a man knock out a woman is not anything I want to watch. But, it just wasn't possible. Media inevitably stokes this type of news for ratings. On Facebook, Twitter, my Yahoo homepage, and every TV channel I flipped through, the video was front and center. I ended up seeing the whole thing in bits and pieces by the end of the day. It was almost inevitable. And it got me thinking: if I eventually viewed the video even though I was actively trying not to, how many kids were exposed to this? More than anyone would want, I'm guessing. One unfortunate by-product of the video’s media saturation is the impact watching this violent act has and will have on our children. Its impact may not be readily apparent until you go on Twitter and other social media sites. While the majority of adults were appalled by the video (and the posting to effect), there were teen boys tweeting things like “going #RayRice on her” and “pull a #RayRice on her.” The truth is, sports stars are held in high esteem, near blindly idolized for their talents. Kids don't just look up to them, they want to be them. As Dr. Kate explains in her blog, Justin Bieber’s Wild Ride: How to Talk to Your Child about Celebrity Heroes Behaving Badly, it's important to talk to our kids when their idols fall. It may even be more important in this situation because it involves domestic violence. As upsetting and distressing as this situation is, it can be a chance to talk with our kids about things we might not normally discuss, such as why it's not OK to use physical violence as a way to deal with issues and what other coping skills can be utilized to deal with anger and frustration.  You will want to be mindful of your child's developmental age and take care not go into lecture mode. You also want to be careful not to criticize the person and keep the focus on the behavior. This is especially true with teens. Because of their developmental stage, they are hardwired to defend people they hold in esteem, like friends and people they consider role models. Keeping the focus on the behavior will help avoid this pitfall. You might start out by asking if your child has seen the video and what their thoughts are around it. This can be a springboard for a deeper discussion around what exactly abuse and domestic violence is. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has guidelines you can use for explaining what domestic violence and abuse is on their website, www.TheHotline.org. It can also be a good time to review with your kids the red flags indicating that they might be in an abusive relationship. After all, most abusive relationships do not start out that way. Helping them to learn the warning signs is another way of giving them the tools for developing healthy relationships. While most people would have this talk with daughters, it is beneficial for sons as well. I'm not trying to get up on a soapbox. I think we can all agree that domestic violence is an awful, terrible thing for anyone to have to experience or witness. I really wish the world was such that these types of conversations weren't necessary. But that's not the world we live in. As parents, we need to help our children develop the skills to be successful adults.  We need to be aware of the impact these types of events have on our kids and be willing to talk about them.  And even if the conversations are uncomfortable or feel awkward, we still have to have them. Denise Rowden is a parent of two teens: a 17-year-old daughter and a 19-year-old son.  She has worked in Special Education, Alternative Education and adolescent group homes. She has a BS in Psychology from USM and is currently working on her Life Coach certification from ICF.
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You Can't Always Send Your Grandchildren Home - Sometimes They Live With You!

Parent Blogger No empty nesting for us!  After twenty-six years of diapers, kindergarten, homework, first loves, heartbreaks, loud cars that were continually breaking down, college tuition, and weddings for our four children, my husband and I were ready for some down time, some alone time, and just plain fun time. That was not to be. Instead, we are raising our 11-year-old granddaughter.
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Spanking: New Study Says It Causes Aggressive Behavior in Kids

Blogger If you're of a certain age, you were probably spanked as a child. It was the most powerful tool that every parent had at their very fingertips -- the big gun. I was spanked as a kid, in fact, and so was my husband. I don't think it taught me to behave better -- it just taught me not to get caught, frankly. So when we had our son, we decided we wouldn't do it, mostly because it seemed like spanking Alex would only teach him to resort to physical violence when he was upset or angry. Also, a lot of parents appear to spank out of anger -- so we reasoned that they were just role modeling physical aggression to their kids. Our thinking was, If we spank our child, won't that make it easier for him to hit other kids?
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