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Parenting Articles about Anxiety
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“I’m ugly.” “Everyone hates me.” “I’m going to fail—I’m too stupid to pass this test.”
Why are teens and pre–teens often insecure, anxious and over–sensitive? Adolescence is a risky, dangerous time of life. Your child is attempting to figure out who he is, how he wants to be in the world and how others perceive him. In some ways, the teen years are like the terrible twos, only the stakes are much higher, because your child’s job is to form his identity and separate from you. It’s also a time when parents often go from having a special, positive bond with their child to a phase where your kid wants to push you away. At the same time, he’s also pulling you in for reassurance. It’s as if your child is saying, “I love you, I hate you; I need your help, you’re embarrassing me; stay close, but I don’t want you to walk next to me on the street.” For all these reasons and more, adolescence is an anxiety–provoking, tumultuous time, both for your child and for you. |
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Does your teen have low self-esteem? Maybe he has a lousy self image, or anxiety about fitting in at school or with peers. This week in EP, read about these difficult adolescent issues from Josh Shipp, someone who’s been there and knows what he’s talking about. |
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In Part II of James Lehman, MSW’s series on episodic childhood depression, he’ll discuss concrete ways you can teach your child coping skills. If your child seems distressed, despondent or sad for a prolonged period of time, have them seen by someone with diagnostic skills. Be sure to have a pediatrician rule out any underlying issues that might be causing depression. |
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Part one of a two part series by James Lehman, MSW, on kids and episodic depression.
Note from James: In our culture, sadness and depression have become almost interchangeable terms. In this article, we’re going to use the term “episodic depression” when referring to a level of sadness that children experience that interferes with their functioning. |
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This is part two of a two-part series on anxiety in children by James Lehman, MSW. In the first article, James discussed how to understand and identify anxiety in children. In this second and last article, he will give you some concrete advice on how to help children solve the problem of anxiety by managing it successfully. |
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As the start of the school year approaches, have you seen your first grader go into meltdown mode at the mention of school, or watched your soon-to-be kindergartner regress back to baby talking and thumb sucking? Rest assured that you’re not alone. Each fall, millions of parents deal with their children’s beginning-of-the-year anxiety. |
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It’s common for kids to have a lot of anxiety about the start of the school year, especially if they’re entering a new grade or going to a new school. All of these issues weigh very heavily on the minds of teens and pre-teens. And children with any type of impairment—whether it be a neurological, physical or behavioral—will have anxiety levels that are even more intense than kids who don’t. |
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Unfortunately, a diagnosis and medication aren’t always a solution. Medications that target behavior problems are at best a shot in the dark and at worst can have many undesirable side effects and alter the child’s personality. There is a fork in the road that many parents face daily: We have a behavior problem. Should I medicate my child? |
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If you're of a certain age, you were probably spanked as a child. It was the most powerful tool that every parent had at their very fingertips -- the big gun. I was spanked as a kid, in fact, and so was my husband. I don't think it taught me to behave better -- it just taught me not to get caught, frankly. So when we had our son, we decided we wouldn't do it, mostly because it seemed like spanking Alex would only teach him to resort to physical violence when he was upset or angry. Also, a lot of parents appear to spank out of anger -- so we reasoned that they were just role modeling physical aggression to their kids. Our thinking was, If we spank our child, won't that make it easier for him to hit other kids?
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The other day a two-year-old touring NYC with her parents fell into the East River. She darted away, slipped and slid saliently into the water in an instant. Fortunately, she was saved by her alert father within moments. He’s my hero. As a Mom with ADHD and three young and impulsive children (including a two-year-old) I can relate.
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Lately, my seven-year-old son has been complaining about having mysterious stomach aches. He's also been going to the nurse's office at school a lot and begging to stay home. The other day, he even suggested I home school him. When I reminded him of how much he used to enjoy first grade, he mumbled, I used to like it before kids started bothering each other and being bullies.
Uh oh.
I very casually asked the words every parent dreads getting a yes response to:
Is anyone bothering you at school?
Long pause. In a small voice he said, The Mean Kid.
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I’m not sure that the word stress should be allowed to take so much credit for all the magical hubbub going on around us at this time of year.
Balancing our holiday parties, gift giving, visiting with relatives and spending time putting in batteries can be viewed as stress or as LIVING! How about a perspective shift?
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Back in January, my friend Julie asked me, Has your kindergarten stomach ache started yet? When I gave her a puzzled look, she said, I've already started to freak out about Eli starting kindergarten in the fall. I knew what she meant-ever since my son turned 5, I'd been dreading his graduation into the big boy world of backpacks, Power Rangers, and visits from the tooth fairy. I know it sounds terrible-I should be celebrating every milestone, right? But the truth is, while I love seeing my son grow, a part of me can't help but mourn a little for the baby he was.
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