Running Away Part II: "Mom, I Want to Come Home."
When Your Child is on the Streets

For kids, running away is like taking a long, dangerous timeout. They may use it to avoid some difficulty at home, or to hide from something that’s embarrassing to them. You can also look at running away as a power struggle, because kids will often run instead of taking responsibility for their actions or complying with house rules. Above all, as a parent, what you don't want to do is give it power. That's the cardinal rule: do not give this behavior power.

Are You Afraid of Your Acting-Out Child? Part I: Why Giving in is a Dead End

Do you walk on eggshells around your child, afraid of doing anything to set him off? Do you appease him when you notice he’s winding up to throw a tantrum? In part one of a two-part series, James Lehman, MSW explains how fear of acting-out behavior sets up a dangerous pattern for your child—and the whole family.

Young Kids Acting Out in School: The Top 3 Issues Parents Worry about Most

If you’re the parent of a young child who acts out at school, you’ve probably asked yourself, “If my child is out of control now, how will I be able to deal with him when he’s ten—or a teenager?” Once a toddler or kindergartner becomes known as a child who “plays too rough” or “always has to have his way,” parents often find that invitations to playdates and birthday parties begin to dry up. Instead of hoping your child will be well-liked at school, you might be saying to yourself, “If only Ben could find just one friend to play with—and maintain that friendship for longer than a day!”

Acting Out in School: When Your Child is the Class Troublemaker

Every parent of an acting-out child knows that once your kid has a reputation for being a troublemaker at school, it's very difficult to undo that label. That’s because your child becomes the label; when the teacher looks at him, she often just sees a troublemaker. Sadly, it's very hard to change that image, because even when your child tries harder, the label is reinforced when he slips up. And then he's really got problems, because not only is he still a troublemaker—now he's seen as a manipulator, too.

Trapped in a Screaming Match with Your Child? 5 Ways to Get Out Now

If yelling worked, parenting would be easy, wouldn't it? We’d simply shout, “Do it!” and our kids would comply. But here’s the truth: it doesn't work. I've told parents, “Look, if screaming at our kids was effective, I'd be out of business. You'd just be able to yell at your child and he'd change. Or you'd bring your child to my office, I'd shout at him and call him names for 45 minutes, and then he'd go home and be nice for a week.”

The Obnoxious Child: When an "Audience" Makes Behavior Worse

Does your child’s behavior become more obnoxious, demanding and “smart-alecky” when he has an audience? Some kids just seem to “step up the show” as soon as their friends come over. You’ll see this happening with both kids who are occasionally out of line, and those who are obnoxious chronically.

"I'll Do It Later!"6 Ways to Get Kids to Do Chores Now

Getting kids to do chores is one of the most common arguments families have. Who can’t relate to this picture? You’re yelling, “Why haven’t you cleaned your room yet?” while your child is on the couch watching TV, shouting back, “I’ll do it later!”

"I'm Right and You're Wrong!" Is Your Child a Know-it-all?

Does your child always insist that they’re right and everyone else is wrong? Some kids have a bad habit of asserting their opinions by drowning out everyone else in the room—regardless of whether or not they know what they’re talking about. Understandably, this overbearing behavior is very annoying and frustrating for both  parents and family members alike.

"I'm a Victim, So the Rules Don't Apply to Me!"
How to Stop "Victim Thinking" in Kids

Whenever an adolescent doesn’t want to take responsibility, it’s very likely they’ll present themselves as a victim. When your child says, “You don’t understand me,” that’s playing the victim, because what they’re really saying is, “I’m a victim of your misunderstanding." And you’ll see excuse-making, blaming and justification all contained within this kind of thought process. In our society today, kids as well as adults have become adept at using all of these strategies to rationalize their actions.

We Got a Diagnosis for Our Child—Now What?
ADHD, ODD, LDs and More—What a Diagnosis Means for Your Child

A diagnosis is an important piece of the puzzle when we try to help kids with disabilities learn how to function. Many parents are relieved when they get a diagnosis for their acting-out, “problem child” because they see it as a guideline for the future. They think, “Now we’ll know what to do; this is it—we’ll finally get our child the help he needs.” But parents are often left with the fact that simply having a diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean they will be able to get help improving their child’s behavior, or get them the skills they need to learn in order to function successfully.

Are You Embarrassed by Your Child's Behavior? 5 Ways to Cope

When you have a child who acts out, throws tantrums or is disrespectful, their embarrassing behavior can make you want to curl up into a little ball and hide. Here, James Lehman, MSW gives you some tips on how to cope—and how to teach your child the skills he needs.

Good Behavior is not “Magic”—It’s a Skill
The Three Skills Every Child Needs for Good Behavior

When you have a child who acts out and is disrespectful, it’s easy to compare him to the so-called “good kids” who never seem to get into trouble or give their parents grief. Many people feel hopeless about the possibility of ever teaching their child to “magically” become the kind of well-behaved member of the family they envisioned before they had him.

Do You Dread Coming Home To Your Kids?

“On the way home from work every day, I start getting stressed out because I know that my 15-year-old son will be there waiting, ready to start a fight with me. There are times when I just want to turn the car around and not deal with him anymore, but I know that’s wrong. I’m so tired of the screaming matches and power struggles. What can I do?”

When Your Child Says, “I Don’t Fit In.”

Every child feels like they don’t fit in at some point. Even adults feel that way occasionally: we all experience being “alone in a room full of people.” With kids, the need to be part of a group is instinctual; it’s survival. They want to fit in and be like everyone else because it gives them a sense of safety and security. So when your child tells you they don’t fit in, they’re also saying, “I don’t feel safe.” The anxiety comes from thoughts of, “I’m different; I’m vulnerable.” And sadly, other children tend to focus on kids who are different and can be very cruel.

Kids, Blaming and Apologies: Everything after “But” is Bull

You’ll often hear kids say, “I’m sorry, but...” and follow their apology with an excuse. “I’m sorry, but you were looking at me.” “I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t let me play my video games.” “I’m sorry I kicked a hole in the wall, but you told me I couldn’t go outside.” So, what your child is actually saying is, “I’m sorry, but it was your fault.”