As a parent, when all else fails, sometimes all you can do is laugh. But did you also know that finding the humor in a situation is actually a helpful coping skill that, when used correctly, can be very effective? For starters, laughter helps give you some objectivity and allows you to find common ground with your child, even during an interaction that might have been tense and angry moments before. Simply put, it’s hard to be mad and laugh at the same time. As you've probably noticed in your own life, the ability to find the humor in a situation can instantly dissolve a fight or help us relate to one another in a new way.

Does this sound familiar? Your teenage son is taking forever in the bathroom (again), but you need him to get ready so you can get to work on time. You’re thinking, “How could I have raised such an inconsiderate kid? He’s so disrespectful!” Meanwhile, your child is locked in the bathroom, consumed with his image in the mirror. He’s thinking, “No way am I going to school with this pimple on my nose.” Outside in the hallway, you start pounding on the door, yelling at him to hurry up. He screams, “God, you just don’t understand! Leave me alone!” You end up late for work and completely overwhelmed, wondering, “Why doesn’t my kid listen to me? Does he have to fight me on everything?”

Kids use the silent treatment as a way to freeze you out, to get you to leave them alone, and to push your buttons. What most parents don’t realize is that under the surface, something else is going on: the silent treatment is giving your child a feeling of power and control over you.

Pouting, sulking and whining are three of the most annoying ways that kids communicate their displeasure with a situation. This behavior is not just limited to young children, either—teens do it because they haven’t always learned the skills to express their frustration in an appropriate way. Simply put, it works for them.

I often joke that kids with ADHD would make great politicians or lawyers, because they never give up a fight! Trying to cope with a child who argues at the drop of a hat can test the patience of any sane person. Not surprisingly, over the years many parents have asked me what they can do to make the arguing stop. What you can do is help your children turn their ability to argue into a positive trait rather than a negative one.

Interrupting comes from a variety of sources, including over-stimulation, competition with siblings and peers, impulsivity and family patterns of communication. It’s helpful to pinpoint what combination of these factors contributes to the interruption that you’re seeing today. Whatever it is, the most effective thing to do in the moment is to calmly and simply say “Don’t interrupt me until I’m done.”