Parenting Articles about Consequences & Rewards

Do you ever wonder if you're giving the right consequences? Perhaps you don't feel like it's having an effect on your child's behavior. And are natural consequences for children always the best thing? Parenting strategies that explain the right way to give consequences to your child and teen—and the importance of giving rewards.
 1 2 Next

Parenting Teens: 5 Ineffective Things to Avoid Doing

Parenting Teens: 5 Ineffective Things to Avoid Doing

At Empowering Parents, we talk a lot about “effective” versus “ineffective” parenting styles. In fact, James Lehman reminds us that it’s not about whether your parenting style is right or wrong, it’s about whether it’s effective.

Read more »

In Over Your Head? How to Improve Your Child's Behavior and Regain Control as a Parent

In Over Your Head? How to Improve Your Child's Behavior and Regain Control as a Parent

Recently, a frustrated mom sat in my office and said, “I just don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve tried everything! There’s no punishment that gets through to our child; there’s nothing we can say that will fix her behavior. There’s so much going on we just don’t know where to start.” Sound familiar? Parents often get by on intuition and advice from others, but let’s face it–that’s not always enough, especially if you have a child who doesn’t respond well to your attempts to manage their behavior.

Read more »

6 Ways to Manage Tantrums, Misbehavior and Meltdowns During the Holidays

6 Ways to Manage Tantrums, Misbehavior and Meltdowns During the Holidays

If you have a child or teen who misbehaves, the holidays can be a source of infinite stress and anxiety. Your individual expectations of the holidays can be seriously at odds: you expect to have a nice, shared time with your whole family and maybe attend some larger family gatherings; they expect to get every gift they demand, and they intend to spend their school break staying up late, sleeping in, and playing video games. The resulting holiday season can be filled with tantrums, obnoxious behavior, and lots of yelling and screaming.

Read more »

Demanding Children and Teens: Is Entitlement Just a Stage?

Demanding Children and Teens: Is Entitlement Just a Stage?

Your 10-year-old son begs you to buy him the newest video game. He cries, “All my friends have it. Why can’t you be like all the other parents? They buy their kids the stuff they want!” Or, your 16-year-old daughter is annoyed that she has to drive the old beat up Chevy to school. “I don’t want to be seen in this piece of junk! Have you seen what kind of cars the other kids drive!?”

Read more »

5 Steps to Giving Effective Consequences to Young Kids

5 Steps to Giving Effective Consequences to Young Kids

When the young child in your house breaks the rules, do you find yourself frustrated and confused about the next step to take? The key to creating better behavior at this tender age is to begin teaching your child the concept of consequences. There’s no better time than now to help yourkidsunderstand that their behavior, both positive and negative, has an effect on others. Keep reading to discover five helpful tips that make giving consequences to easier and lesspainful for everyone involved.

Read more »

Manipulative Child Behavior? My Kids Are Too Smart for Their Own Good

Manipulative Child Behavior? My Kids Are Too Smart for Their Own Good

Does this sound familiar? My middle schooler blackmails me emotionally – he cries that I 'don’tcare about him and love his brother more'when I ask him to stop playing his video games. It's true that he's a more difficult kid, and his wordsmake me feel so bad that I oftenfeel guilty and let him continue to play. Or My teenager negotiates with me relentlessly to get her way. 'If you let me go to the party tonight,' she'll say, 'then I promise I'll get all my work done tomorrow.' I figure, why not?So I let her go. But then,'Oops!'She conveniently forgets all her promises.

Read more »

Screen Time: Using Technology as a Consequence or Reward for Your Child

Screen Time: Using Technology as a Consequence or Reward for Your Child

It's important to understand that you can’t getyour childto care about homework, choresor hygiene just because you do. What you can do is help them complete those tasks and reach certain goals regardless of how they feel about them. You do this by offering something important to them, in order to get them to complete something important to you. What do kids value? Screen time. In other words, phone, Internet, TV andvideo games.

Read more »

How to Discipline Your Child: Effective Consequences for Children Who Don't Listen

How to Discipline Your Child: Effective Consequences for Children Who Don't Listen

Does your child ignore consequences? Your situation may look different on the surface, but many parents can agree on the same underlying theme: My kid acts out. I give him a consequence, but nothing changes. In fact, his behavior just keeps getting worse. Fortunately, there’s a way through this never-ending cycle. (The answer might not be what you think.)

Read more »

5 Areas to Let Your Child Face Natural Consequences

5 Areas to Let Your Child Face Natural Consequences

Everyone says you should let your child face natural consequences, but what exactly does this mean? Many parents struggle with this concept because they don’t fully understand what constitutes a natural consequence. And sometimes parents have difficulty relinquishing control of consequences because they feel they always have to get their child to obey, even if it means getting into a huge blowout.

Read more »

How to Get Your Child to Listen: 9 Secrets to Giving Effective Consequences

How to Get Your Child to Listen: 9 Secrets to Giving Effective Consequences

Do you ever feel like the consequences you give your child aren’t working—and that he’s just not listening? Giving consequences is more difficult than people realize sometimes, so don’t beat yourself up if you feel like you’ve been missing the mark. There’s really no perfect way to do it—some consequences are simply more effective than others.

Read more »

Why Consequences Aren't Enough, Part 2 Making Child Behavior Changes That Last

Why Consequences Aren't Enough, Part 2 Making Child Behavior Changes That Last

There’s no such thing as a perfect consequence that will make your child’s behavior “magically” change. Rather, there are effective and ineffective consequences. Ineffective consequences teach your child how to do time—how to be grounded for a few weeks, or how to live without his video games or cell phone. Effective consequences have two main goals: to teach your child and to hold him accountable. It’s a very important distinction, and could mean the difference between seeing change or becoming frustrated and resentful about your child’s behavior.

Read more »

Why Consequences Aren't Enough, Part 1: How to Coach Your Child to Better Behavior

Why Consequences Aren't Enough, Part 1: How to Coach Your Child to Better Behavior

Do you feel stuck in a cycle with your child where his behavior isn’t changing—and might actually be getting worse? Many parents think that simply giving consequences should be enough to fix misbehavior. These same parents often end up feeling defeated and are left wondering why the consequences didn’t work. In this two-part series, Sara Bean explains the key to changing kids’ behavior (and it’s not consequences). Read on to learn how to parent your child more effectively, starting today.

Read more »

You're Grounded for Life! Why Harsh Punishments for Children and Teenagers Don't Work

You're Grounded for Life! Why Harsh Punishments for Children and Teenagers Don't Work

Have you ever punished your child in the heat of the moment, when you’re angry and upset? If you’re like most parents, the answer is probably “yes.” In fact, this is one of the biggest, most common parenting traps that you can fall into. But often when you do this, you’re focused on winning the fight rather than working towards teaching your child to choose to do the right thing.

Read more »

Child Discipline: Consequences and Effective Parenting

Child Discipline: Consequences and Effective Parenting

Let’s face it, none of us went to school for parenting, and often we’re really hard on ourselves: we think we’re alone and that we need to come up with the “perfect solution” or consequence when our child misbehaves. Here’s the truth: it's not a matter of finding the perfect solution. It's a matter of finding a consequence that will mean something to your child. The good news is, it can be done.

Read more »

 1 2 Next