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Parenting Articles about Divorce
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How do you react when you discover that your children are spending a lot of time with your ex-wife’s new boyfriend? SingleDad.com founder, RJ Jaramillo, shares his firsthand experiences.
Most newly divorced men come to the realization that their new life as a divorced dad comes with a consequence: you and your ex-wife will move on and begin new relationships. In this case, I am talking about my own personal experience and how I felt like I was being replaced by my ex-wife’s boyfriend. Learn from my experience and pick up a few tips from suggestions below on how to overcome a little anxiety and realize that your children are better off by having your love and support in their new environment.
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365, 182 or less…These are frightening numbers to look at as a father. Somewhere in the U.S. today, there is a newly divorced father facing his final hearing in a family court room. A judge is making a decision that will change the number of days that the father will spend with his children forever.
Back in 1999, all I got was 30% custody. My life had changed in an instant. I was so desperate and angry. It just seemed so unfair. I can remember the advice my attorney told me over and over again, “This is just the beginning custody schedule; through your time and effort, things will change. Just bite your tongue, make every effort to be available for your kids and we can always re-petition for more time.” Times have changed in some courts, but it’s still a shock to see how little time newly divorced fathers get in their custody agreements. |
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With so many divorced parents and blended families out there, differences in parenting crop up all the time. If you are divorced or separated from your child's other parent, your experience may range from peaceful co-parenting to all-out warfare. Different houses with different rules and different parenting styles can make the experience of parenting even more challenging. If you find yourself frustrated and angry with both your child and their other parent, your own ability to act as an effective parent can seriously crumble.
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A good friend of mine called me the other day to report that her son had told her, “Dad says you should stay out of my business.” This sixth grade boy was saying these words to his Mom in the school office in front of the school secretary. The school called because her son was not completing homework, was talking back to teachers, and getting into the occasional fight.
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Don’t grocery shop on an empty stomach and don’t try to parent when you’re having a fight with your spouse. Let me explain what I mean here. Your children have an innate, God-given total selfishness, a “me-first” drive, that would keep them alive if their plane crashed on a desert island. (I saw that on Lost, so I think maybe it could happen.) It’s good, and it’s natural, and you need to account for it in your parenting.
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