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Parenting Articles about Parenting Skills
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Recently changes have been made in our house. We’ve completed a few Total Transformation lessons and we have noticed an actual change in Thomas, our oldest, who is diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD and Autism. |
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For my children, hearing, listening, following directions, and (oh, let me just say it) compliance with others is like pulling teeth. (*Cringe*.) There are many days when I feel like I’ve failed as a parent, and my kids are still so young. When you throw in their ADHD (and mine) into the mix, it makes for some pretty difficult days. |
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I’ve been thinking about the realities of being a so-called single parent. “So-called” because, although I may be divorced, the challenge of raising my son does not always include the feeling of being alone. Often, I feel inundated by advice from all sides: my mother, my friends, my son’s father, teachers, counselors, church members, the clerk at Wal Mart, political candidates -- you name it, they want to tell me how to raise my 13 year old son.
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Dear Parental Support:
I have two daughters, aged 12 and 8, and a son who's 4. My problem is that none of my kids can seem to talk without whining. They whine when it's time to get up, when it's time to go to bed, when we ask them to clean their rooms, turn off the TV, or do their summer reading. Is there any way we can stop this annoying habit? It's driving me and my husband crazy!!!
--Heidi in Sacramento
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From time to time, kids will say that they’re bored of school. There's some research that indicates that when some kids are bored, they’re actually mildly angry. And so, I think that kids do get angry with school, it is boring sometimes. They also don’t like the responsibility of all the assignments. As they get older, these assignments don’t appear to prepare them for the adult world and they resent it, and they resent having to do them.
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Dear Parental Support Specialists,
We have two sons, ages 15 and 13. My 13-year-old is struggling in school. He is an athlete and I seem to always hold this consequence over him: If you don't get good grades, you are not going to play baseball. But, now that I have read many of your articles, I don't think that I am doing the right thing. Good grades and baseball don't match according to the rule of the punishment should fit the crime.
Any suggestions?
Thanks, Lisa
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Has your child ever made you feel like one of the indulgent parents from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? You know the scene—the kid is screaming “I want it now!” and the parent hurries to get whatever their child wants—to avoid a tantrum, to avoid embarrassment, or in my case, to avoid having their child go ballistic at an ice skating rink. |
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Parents frequently call me on the Parental Support Line to discuss respect. Some will say, The ONLY thing I ask from my child is that they respect me. They reason that if they are respected, their child will do everything they are asked to do, will not say anything impolite, and will be motivated by positive feelings toward their parent. These are terrific goals, but I’ve started to ask people not to even use the word respect when they talk to their children about their behavior, and I'll explain why.
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Parents who don’t have good parenting skills use aggression. Men who don’t have good relationship skills (like the father mentioned in the last post) use aggression to compensate for a whole range of things—and usually it’s their own inadequacies and fears.
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Steve Anderson--Legacy Parenting Company president, diehard Patriots fan and father-- tells us the real reason why the Super Bowl was sad, and James Lehman weighs in.
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