Does Your Child Say This?
"I want it now."

Do you dread the threat of a temper tantrum, and feel like you give in to your child’s demands in order to avoid an outburst? In this month’s issue, James Lehman, creator of The Total Transformation Program for parents, shows you how to defuse a tantrum by using an effective response aimed at teaching your child that acting out is not the way to meet his needs.

Should You Negotiate Your Child’s Curfew?

There are times when your thirteen year old may seem like a seasoned litigator, and your kitchen feels like a courtroom. Kids are surprisingly adept at negotiating, and sometimes it's hard to "beat them at their own game.” It’s important to teach kids how to negotiate because it’s a necessary life skill, and it helps create kids who can function independently, but they need to learn healthy ways to interact with people to get what they need.

What they don’t need to learn is that they can negotiate with you to decrease your power as a parent. In most negotiations, one person has more power than the other. In parenting situations, it’s the child who has less power, and he is looking to be empowered. In conflict situations, it's really that he either wants to do something you don’t want him to do or he doesn’t want to do something you want him to do.

Does Your Child Say This?
"You don't love me."

Does your child use guilt to manipulate you? In this month’s issue, James Lehman, creator of The Total Transformation Program for parents, shows you how to deflect the guilt by using an effective response that puts the emphasis where it should be: on your child and the importance of following family rules.

Do You Parent with Your Wallet?
(Or Know Someone Who Does?)

We’re introducing a new monthly feature in Empowering Parents called "Gut Check"—articles that take an up close and honest look at the way we parent our children, ask the tough questions about what’s not effective, and provide real solutions you can use today. This month: how we use money in parenting our kids.
Do You Parent With Your Wallet?
(Or Know Someone Who Does?)

What kid doesn’t love it when Mom or Dad spends money on them? When you can afford it, buying things for your children is fun. But there’s a point where we buy things for our kids for the wrong reasons: to win their allegiance or simply to get them to stop screaming. Where is the line between generosity and parenting with your wallet, and what’s the danger of crossing that line? James Lehman explains.

Motivating the Unmotivated Child

Getting into the back-to-school routine can be hard for everyone in the house. In the morning, parents are faced with groggy kids who won't get out of bed and get ready for school no matter how much you nag, bribe and scold. Homework time can be even worse, with nightly fights and accusations echoing off the walls of your home. So how can you get your child to be more motivated? The important thing to remember is this: your child is motivated—they’re just motivated to resist you. Keep reading to find out how you can turn this negative motivation into a positive one.

Inappropriate Behavior - Why Parents Dismiss it as a Phase

Will your child “grow out of” the bad behavior? James Lehman takes a look at when it’s a phase—and when you need to step in.

The Disneyland Daddy: A Case Study

Mike doesn’t have effective parenting skills and tries to make up for it with deep pockets. He’s also perfectly happy that the kids go back to their mother’s and act out because it’s gratifying for him.