Living with Little Lawyers: Don’t Over-negotiate with Your Child

If you are a parent who negotiates constantly with your child, you probably feel like you’re living with a little lawyer who “objects” to every rule and request and wears you down with endless questions and challenges. With some kids, everything becomes a negotiation, and it starts from the time they get up in the morning until the time they put off going to bed.

School of Hard Knocks: Getting Behavioral Help for Teachers in the Classroom

When one of  Brandi Frank’s second grade students was expelled for punching another teacher in the stomach, she was ready for his return to her classroom six weeks later. “I sat down in community circle in the morning and talked with the other students and explained that this boy, *Kyle, was coming back to the classroom. The number one thing I established was, ‘There’s no excuse for abuse.’”

Freaked Out Part II: How to Help Kids Manage Their Anxiety

This is part two of a two-part series on anxiety in children by James Lehman, MSW. In the first article, James discussed how to understand and identify anxiety in children. In this second and last article, he will give you some concrete advice on how to help children solve the problem of anxiety by managing it successfully.

Freaked Out Part I:
Understanding Kids with Anxiety

This is part one of a two-part series on anxiety in children by James Lehman, MSW. In the first article, James will discuss how to understand and identify anxiety in children. Next week, he'll give you some constructive advice on how to help children manage it successfully.

Reduce Homework Hassles with these Simple Tips

Homework can be difficult for most kids during the school year, but it can become a major challenge when you have a child with ADHD. But here’s some good news for exhausted parents: if you take the right steps now, at the beginning of the school year, homework hassles can be kept to a minimum. The key is to be organized and plan ahead to minimize the frustration your child is bound to experience around multiple homework assignments. Begin by tackling the two most important places: school and home.

Beat the Back to School Power Struggle in 30 Days
(The Secret? Start Now!)

I’ve worked with many parents and children caught up in power struggles in the home—they argued over bedtime, homework, curfew, video game time—you name it, they fought over it. And the more these parents fought with their children, the better at arguing and manipulating situations their children seemed to get. Mothers and fathers came to me exhausted, frustrated and desperate to stop the constant tug-of-war going on in their homes.

“Yes, Your Kid is Smoking Pot”
What Every Parent Needs to Know Now

"No one is immune to the disease of addiction," warns Katherine Ketcham, the coauthor of thirteen books, including Teens Under the Influence: The Truth About Kids, Alcohol, and Other Drugs – How to Recognize the Problem and What to Do About It and the bestselling classic Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism. For the last eight years she has worked with addicted youth and families at the Juvenile Justice Center in Walla Walla, Washington.

How to Navigate the School System When Your Child
Has a Disability

As a parent, there are moments when warning bells go off—times when you notice that your child might be having trouble grasping certain skills that their peers seem to have mastered.

“I don’t Want to Go to School!” And What You
Can Do about It

Nearly every morning before school, Josh, 9, will scream, cry and do anything possible to stay home. “He’ll whine on and on, ‘I don’t feel well. I hate my teacher. School is boring,” say his parents, Suzanne and Rob, who report that they have hit the wall with his behavior. “He used to like school,” said Suzanne. “I’m not sure what happened, but in the last few years it’s become a battle just to get him out the door.”

Does Your Child Say This:

Almost every kid will eventually have a teacher they don’t like, but that’s not an excuse for them to refuse to follow the rules of the classroom. When you side with your children in this scenario, believe it or not, you are actually undermining your own authority in the process. The bottom line is that it’s a mistake to denigrate authority figures with your children, even if you agree with them. Read on to see how James Lehman advises you to handle the situation.

Gut Check:
Shame and Anger: The Emotional Handcuffs of Parenting

One of the unaddressed elements of children’s behavior is the pain that families go through, knowing that others are judging them.  Because the fact is, they are being judged. When parents have to go to school constantly because of their kid’s outbursts, when they get in conflicts with the neighbors because of the kid’s behavior, when they’re at the supermarket and the kid throws a temper tantrum, or they’re at the mall with their adolescent child and he raises his voice or gives his parents backtalk, it’s completely humiliating.

My Child is Being Bullied—What Should I Do?
Q&A with Bullying Expert Peggy Moss

Being the target of bullies is a form of torture. I know this firsthand—I was bullied for two years in elementary school. Now I’m a mom, and the thought of the same thing happening to my child terrifies me. Recently, we caught up with Peggy Moss, a nationally known expert on bullying and a tireless advocate for the prevention of hate violence. Peggy is also the author of Say Something, an award-winning children’s book that helps parents and educators start conversations with kids about actions children can take when they are being bullied, or are a witness to other kids being tormented at school.

How to Give Kids Consequences That Work

A consequence is something that follows naturally from a person’s action, inaction or poor decision. It differs from a punishment in that a punishment is retribution. Punishment is “getting back” at someone, to hurt them back for a hurt they did. When you get a speeding ticket, it’s not a retribution for something you did wrong. It’s a consequence of your poor choices and decisions.

When you’re giving a child a consequence, it’s important to make it flow naturally from the child’s choice or action. For example, if your son sleeps late and doesn’t get up for school, the natural consequence is to go to bed earlier that night to get more sleep. The natural consequence isn’t to take his phone for a week. Tell him he has to go to bed early for the next three nights, and then if he can show you he can get up for school, you’ll go back to the later bedtime.

Homework Survival for Parents

You graduated from school years ago. But you’re still dealing with homework every night for hours on end, and it’s no fun. If your child refuses to bring work home, won’t do it at night or gives you endless grief when you try to help, Empowering Parents has some answers for you. Here, James Lehman explains how to get your child to do his homework so that you can stop the nightly tug of war and stop doing the work for him. 

Homework is often a barometer of what’s going on in the child’s life, and it’s easy for parents to misinterpret the issue. Sometimes the child can’t do the work because of a learning disability. Very often, the issue really isn’t the homework. The homework is what we call the “incident.” The issue is an unwillingness to do the work.

Top Five Concerns for Back to School

Last month, we invited readers to email us with their “Number One Concern” for their child in the upcoming school year. Our Parental Support Line staff responded to each inquiry with suggestions based on the Total Transformation and Total Focus Programs. Read on to see what you can do to help you and your child get through the school year with flying colors.