Running Away Part II: "Mom, I Want to Come Home."
When Your Child is on the Streets

For kids, running away is like taking a long, dangerous timeout. They may use it to avoid some difficulty at home, or to hide from something that’s embarrassing to them. You can also look at running away as a power struggle, because kids will often run instead of taking responsibility for their actions or complying with house rules. Above all, as a parent, what you don't want to do is give it power. That's the cardinal rule: do not give this behavior power.

Running Away Part I: Why Kids Do It and How to Stop Them

It’s every parent’s worst nightmare—you go to check on your child in the middle of the night, and he’s not there. Your heart starts pounding and you fly into panic mode, calling his friends, your relatives, and the police. Whether or not your child has run away or threatened to do so—or you fear that he might—it’s vital that you read this article. James Lehman has worked with runaway youth for many years, and in this new EP series he explains why kids run away, ways you can stop them, and how to handle their behavior when they come home.

Does Your Child Have "Toxic" Friends?
6 Ways to Deal with the Wrong Crowd

I've worked with a lot of children and teens with behavior problems over the years—and believe me, very few of their parents liked their friends. It's like the national anthem of parents: “It's not my child; it’s those kids he hangs out with!” When I hear that, I always say, “Maybe that's so, but the reason he hangs out with that group is because he's similar to them. And just like you're saying, ‘It's those other kids he hangs out with,’ those other kids’ parents are saying it's your kid who’s the problem.”

Teens and Privacy: Should I Spy on My Child?
Plus: The 4 Tactics Kids Use When They Get Caught

Note from James: A lot of the things we do to protect our children might be considered “spying” by our kids, but they are in fact measures we take to keep them safe from others, as well as from themselves. Before we begin, I want to say that I hesitate to use the word “spying” because it has a negative, sneaky connotation. It’s hard to “spy” on someone in your own home. But that’s a word parents understand and use when we talk about looking through our kids’ things, so we decided to use that characterization here.

From "Problem Child" to Child Behavioral Therapist:
James Lehman's Personal Transformation

Next week: Read the Excerpt from James' new book, Transform Your Problem Child.

This week, James Lehman, MSW sits down with EP Editor Elisabeth Wilkins to talk about his life, his new book, and the hard-won lessons he discovered growing up as a defiant, acting-out child. From being abandoned in a basement as an infant to a life of crime and drug addiction in his teens and young adulthood, learn how James transformed his life—and how he’s teaching parents across North America to do the same thing with their own children.

“Yes, Your Kid is Smoking Pot”
What Every Parent Needs to Know Now

"No one is immune to the disease of addiction," warns Katherine Ketcham, the coauthor of thirteen books, including Teens Under the Influence: The Truth About Kids, Alcohol, and Other Drugs – How to Recognize the Problem and What to Do About It and the bestselling classic Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism. For the last eight years she has worked with addicted youth and families at the Juvenile Justice Center in Walla Walla, Washington.

Why is My Child Stealing and What Can I Do?
Advice for Parents on Kids, Stealing and Shoplifting

“My fourteen year old daughter was arrested for shoplifting make-up this week,” said Marie, a working mother of two girls. “Is this just normal teen behavior, or is it something more serious? She’s grounded for a month and I’ve taken away her iPod and computer privileges, but to tell the truth, I’m still in shock. I’m furious and I’m not sure how to even talk to her about what she did.”

Teens, Alcohol and Binge Drinking: Why Kids Are
Drinking Hard Alcohol at a Younger Age

It’s Saturday night, and kids all over North America are hanging out at their friends’ houses, watching movies, going to parties. And children as young as 11 are taking their first drink of alcohol—the average age when boys start drinking. For girls, that age is now 13. More and more kids are drinking hard liquor, and an alarming number of those teens and pre-teens are binge drinking, which is defined as consuming 5 or more drinks of any alcohol in one setting for boys, and 4 or more drinks for girls.

Starving to Death:
Does My Child Have an Eating Disorder?

Michelle’s parents did not address her anorexia until she weighed less than 85 pounds. At 5’10”, she was a skeleton compared to the healthy teen she had once been. “My mom and dad said nothing to me about my weight loss, until one morning at breakfast when my father slammed a stack of pancakes down in front of me and demanded I eat them,” she said. “I refused.” Michelle’s eating disorder began when her older sister died in a car accident. “At first I didn’t want to eat, I was grieving so much. But the subject of my sister’s death was taboo at my house—my parents wouldn't even allow me to mention it. I continued to refuse food because of the pain I was in, and their unwillingness to see it.” Fortunately, after that breakfast table incident, her mother sought treatment for Michelle with a counselor who specialized in eating disorders. “I’m sure it saved my life,” said Michelle.

Should You Negotiate Your Child’s Curfew?

There are times when your thirteen year old may seem like a seasoned litigator, and your kitchen feels like a courtroom. Kids are surprisingly adept at negotiating, and sometimes it's hard to "beat them at their own game.” It’s important to teach kids how to negotiate because it’s a necessary life skill, and it helps create kids who can function independently, but they need to learn healthy ways to interact with people to get what they need.

What they don’t need to learn is that they can negotiate with you to decrease your power as a parent. In most negotiations, one person has more power than the other. In parenting situations, it’s the child who has less power, and he is looking to be empowered. In conflict situations, it's really that he either wants to do something you don’t want him to do or he doesn’t want to do something you want him to do.

Out of Control Behavior: Should I Medicate My Child?

Unfortunately, a diagnosis and medication aren’t always a solution. Medications that target behavior problems are at best a shot in the dark and at worst can have many undesirable side effects and alter the child’s personality. There is a fork in the road that many parents face daily: "We have a behavior problem. Should I medicate my child?"