My son, a second grader, was accused of bullying last November. The principal had teachers, aides, playground monitors, and her office staff observe and record my son's behavior around the other child (which is only at recess). In 2.5 months, they had NOTHING to report. I was only recently notified because the other parents refuse to believe the principal and think that she is ignoring them. I understand that they are heartsick to think that their child is under duress, but the child has admitted to the principal that he "might" have made up some incidents.
Some of this started in first grade, when the boys were in the same class. My son had a lot of adjustment issues, especially before his learining disability and ADHD diagnosis. He was a hands-on kid and had to be reminded often to not jump on his friends or poke at them for attention. He tried to distract his friends in class because he wasn't understanding the assignments. In mid-first grade, my son came home in tears because he was not invited to this child's birthday party and the child taunted him about it. Around that time, the other boy began to say that my son wasn't allowed to play with him. So instead of making a federal case out of it, we advised our son that not everyone liked each other, and to stay away from the boy.
This year, the boys are in the same cub scout den, play basketball (not on the same team, thank goodness!) and the family lives on our street. So we see them once or twice a week. All we get is hostile glances from them, yet they have never said a word to us. If they don't believe the principal and multiple staff members, I'm sure I cannot change their mind. But I am quite sure they are talking about this to others and I don't want my son to have a reputation as a bully.
Any advice? We are still reeling from this -- my son has had so many issues to confront. We try to be very responsive to any situation that needs intervention or correction. So this seems doubly unfair, because he hasn't done anything. We were in the same room with this family for 5 hours during the pinewood derby. My son never even went near their son, and they never said a word about this -- and we had not yet been notified about the problem, or we might have said something to them.
Thanks for letting me vent!