For the last couple of years my mentally handicapped son (12 now), has been dealing w/ a particular bully. I contacted the school on numerous occasions, asked for many parent to parent conferences to no avail, as the parents of the bully didn't seem to want to work it out. Filed complaint after complaint, called the police etc, etc. Nothing was working! Finally, this last week, after my son was chased home from school by this bully and his friends, I got smart! I pulled out my video camcorder, and went stealth! I told my son that if he saw me after school while walking home, NOT to come near, or wave or anything, because I was gonna be tracking the bully home. Sure enough, the bully did his thing, he came up behind my son, hit him in the head w/ a closed fist, shoved/pushed him, and then saw me and my video camera! I stayed calm. Told my son to get in the car w/ me, then we followed the bully home. Very obviously followed him home. He KNEW what was up! When he got home, I knocked on the door and calmly, explained to the mother that I was tired of her son's antics. I suggested that we try to get the boys to get along better, and All the time the bully was standing right there. I told her what I had recorded and showed it to her. She made her son apologize. I then suggested that maybe we should get together every few days and talk about how the boys are doing. I thought that she would probably never call, but I gave her my numbers anyway. The next morning, while packing lunches for my kids, I put in an extra soda and sweet snack, for my son to give to the bully. The mother called me that night to thank me for my generosity; given what her son had been doing to mine. I then suggested a "play date" for last weekend. It worked! The boys seem to be getting along better. My son said that the other kids are now teasing the bully for being friends w/ him. But that he just tells them "we are friends now, so don't pick on him," and tells them to "go away." We will see how long this lasts, but for now, I am satisfied. The school says that the bully is no longer bullying other kids either. I don't know if what I did was illegal or not (videoing someone else's kid w/o permission, and following them home), but I don't think it was wrong.

Wow, what an amazing story. Thank you for sharing it here. To be able to reach out to the bully's mom and then show the boy kindness -- you are a brave and loving mom! Please keep in touch. How wonderful to teach both your son and the other boy about friendship under the most unlikely circumstances.

Wow is right. Is it something that you are doing as a parent that changed your son's view on his Bully? We are working on a new show for Discovery Health on parenting styles and would love to hear from you. The two styles are free range and gender neutral parenting methods. It would be great to hear from you or if you could reach out to your network of mommies. Thanks Karen....

great inspiration for all of us. to remember to reach out in kindness to our bullies. to give what we want.

thank you!!!