My 9 year old son shuts down when he is uncomfortable.

At kids parties he will sometimes sit in the corner and not talk. At basketball he won't play. He sits on the sideline. He's not always this way but in certain situations he just shuts down.

At school, he doesn't listen to the teacher and he leaves his test papers blank. He won't even write down his best guess. He would rather leave the paper blank.

My wife spends 2 to 3 hours each night trying to help him do his homework that on the rare occassions he does do the homework only takes him about 15 minutes to do. Even if my wife gives him the answer to get him warmed up he just shuts down and won't write anything. He just says he doesn't care and he can't do it.

I think he may have oppositional defiance disorder or maybe some autism spectrum disorder. We hired one of his former teachers to tutor him to help build his confidence but that didn't work either. The teacher says he just sits there and she can't get him to do anything either.

He's been seeing a behavior therapist for the past year but it is not helping. He is getting worse.

Dear Sean from NJ:

It sounds like you’re doing a lot of good things to help your son, including working with a behavioral professional. Consider increasing his treatment team and the information you have to work with, especially if you are wondering about autism. These behaviors need to be reported to his pediatrician, of course. Your pediatrician may recommend a neuropsychological evaluation, for example. This evaluation is indicated when kids have unusual behaviors. Results from a neuropsychological evaluation help the healthcare professionals and you determine the proper rehabilitation, psychological, psychiatric or educational services for your child.