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 Post subject: Stubborn and disrespectful 14 year old
PostPosted: Wed May 27, 2009 11:00 am 
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Joined: Wed May 27, 2009 10:33 am
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My son is 14 and at times is so hard to be around. The first 3 quarters of school went fairly well with him getting A's and B's but we have seen a significant drop off towards the end of the school year. He has missed several assignments and failed to complete one project in science which is his favorite class. I'm so sick of telling him to do something and he totally ignores it. For instance this weekend he had a social studies project to do and we agreed on a specific time to start it. That time came and went because he was sleeping. When I went to wake him up he became extremely belligerent and I knew that if he started his project that way he would just slap it together so I let him wake up on his own. By the time he started the project and of course he needed help it was 8:30 at night which both my husband and I weren't happy with. We are having so much trouble dealing with his defiance and just saying no to whatever we ask him to do. His only joy is playing on the computer so we have taken that away but he makes it appear like he could care less. He is definitely capable of being an A student and right now he has 3 D's so I am beside myself. Any suggestions?


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 Post subject: Re: Stubborn and disrespectful 14 year old
PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:15 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:52 am
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I have a 13 yo son with the same attitude. I have found with him that when this attitude gets worse, there is something else going on. For example, I found he and his friend were being bullied through Facebook emails by his classmates. This is not something he shared with me, but I had to find out on my own. Digging into a child's life is not a violation of privacy, it is parenting. Once I found out, we talked about it and he is doing much better. Not enough can be said for keeping communication with your teen open. They may complain that it is a lack of privacy, but more often they are relieved to talk about it and realize that their problems are common and manageable. I've also found that my son is easily overwhelmed with the "big picture" of homework, chores, etc. If I help him break a task down into stages, he is much less beligerent and more ready to tackle the project.


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 Post subject: Re: Stubborn and disrespectful 14 year old
PostPosted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 9:53 am 
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Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 8:39 am
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We should start a club. My 13 year old son is acting out in a similar way. He is labeled 'gifted" and has had A's all year. As this term progressed, he began to refuse attending school. He missed assignments, his grades dropped, he is up to 22 days absent and I am pertrified that he will be labeled truant or a delinquent child and involved with the state system. We have 4 days left! and he refuses to go. We are exhausted, we have dragged him out of bed wrapped in his blankets, dressed him, dragged him to the car. We have cried, begged, pleaded. We have done his homework for him. We have shown him state regulations regarding truancy online and pictures of detention centers for habitually truant boys. We have bribed. None of it works for more than a day.
No one but his family know this is happening. He plays sports, has many friends including in the very popular group, just got back from a multi-day camping trip in Virginia with his gifted class where he had a blast. First words through the door were, " I hope you know I'm not ever going to school again!"
This morning, Sunday, we spread out his missing assignments from the field trip, planning to prioritize and make it manageable for him. He exploded, left our house against our wishes, and is hiding somewhere in the neighborhood. I think our efforts to hide this from his school are over, we will have to go in Monday and share our dirty secrets, with just 4 days left! This is crazy! We are completeley baffled as to why he does this.
How does one tell the differenece between a mental illness, such as anxiety, and a plain old-fashioned spoiled lazy boy?


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