Has your child crossed the line from acting-out to abusive and violent behavior? When a child or teen starts using intimidation, violence and aggression to solve problems, it’s normal to feel frightened, angry, isolated, ashamed, and/or disbelief that it is even happening. As we frequently remind parents, there is no excuse for abuse. Even if your child has a diagnosis, or is going through a tough time, this type of behavior is never acceptable. If violent and aggressive behavior is happening in your home, it's important to learn effective strategies to keep everyone safe, help your child learn more appropriate means of solving problems, and hold your child accountable for the choice to become abusive. The articles below provide information to assist you in dealing with abusive, violent and aggressive behavior in children.
When children and teens use violence to get what they want—whether it’s punching a parent, a sibling, or a hole in the wall—it usually involves a situation where they’re being told “no” to something they want to do. Or, similarly, they’re being told they have to do something they don’t want to do. In both cases,... Read more »
Verbal abuse and intimidation by children and teens isn’t just a phase that goes away—it doesn’t just happen. It often has deep roots that begin very early in a child’s development. And it often begins as a way for kids to try to get power through controlling their parents. In this article, I’m going to... Read more »
What causes bad child behavior? James Lehman says it happens because children don’t yet know how to solve problems effectively. To put it another way, they act out as an attempt to handle life's problems. And they continue to act out, frankly, because it's working for them. But here's the truth: If you don't help... Read more »
Do violent video games have an effect on childhood development? Virginia Tech Shooter Cho Seung-Hui was said to be an avid player of Counter-Strike, a popular team-based shooting game. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris were fans of Doom and Wolfenstein 3D, referring to the games in the videos they left for police to find after... Read more »
Q: What do the other children in the family experience when they have a brother or sister who’s hostile or acts out chronically? James: It’s traumatizing when something hurtful happens to you, and you can’t control it, you can’t stop it, you can’t predict how hurtful it’s going to be, and you can’t predict when or whether... Read more »
When you have a defiant, out-of-control teen, the idea of sending him to a boot camp or wilderness experience program can sound attractive—and also scary. Perhaps you’ve heard some amazing stories, with claims of wildly successful, life-saving results. On the other hand, you’ve probably also heard the horror stories: allegations of abuse and mistreatment that... Read more »
Many parents wonder what the difference is between a bribe and a reward. After all, in both instances, your child is getting something for doing what you want him to do. But when is this helpful in teaching him better behavior, and when is it harmful? parent coach, Erin Schlicher explains. “I’ll give you an Xbox if... Read more »
Do you feel like your teen tunes you out—or just plain ignores you—any time you make a request or try to have a real conversation? If you’re feeling this way, it’s probably not your imagination. This is a weapon adolescents have in their arsenal, and many use it to manipulate their parents passive-aggressively. Keep in... Read more »
How do you win an argument with your child? You can't. Instead, the best and most effective approach to win an argument is to refuse to take part in the argument in the first place. Here's how to do that. When you engage in arguments with your child, over time he will begin to believe that... Read more »
Have you sent your acting-out, verbally abusive or behaviorally-disordered child to counseling, only to find that it didn't improve his behavior at all? Or maybe counseling worked for awhile, but then your child fell back into the same old patterns of behavior. Counseling for kids can be effective and helpful, but not all counseling is... Read more »
