Has your child crossed the line from acting-out to abusive and violent behavior? When a child or teen starts using intimidation, violence and aggression to solve problems, it’s normal to feel frightened, angry, isolated, ashamed, and/or disbelief that it is even happening. As we frequently remind parents, there is no excuse for abuse. Even if your child has a diagnosis, or is going through a tough time, this type of behavior is never acceptable. If violent and aggressive behavior is happening in your home, it's important to learn effective strategies to keep everyone safe, help your child learn more appropriate means of solving problems, and hold your child accountable for the choice to become abusive. The articles below provide information to assist you in dealing with abusive, violent and aggressive behavior in children.
Signs of Parental Abuse: What to Do When Your Child or Teen Hits You
When Kids Get Violent: "There's No Excuse for Abuse"
Do you ever struggle with temper tantrums at your house? You know what they involve: yelling, screaming, bad-language, and all-out loss of control until you almost can’t take it anymore and you just want to…put yourself in time out? Yes, I’m talking about our own parental "temper tantrums," which we’ve all been known to experience... Read more »
Recently, a frustrated mom sat in my office and said, “I just don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve tried everything! There’s no punishment that gets through to our child; there’s nothing we can say that will fix her behavior. There’s so much going on we just don’t know where to start.” Sound familiar? Parents... Read more »
Part one of a two-part series by James Lehman, MSW on kids who use verbal abuse, intimidation and threats to manipulate their parents and family. In this article, James explains how a defiant, verbally abusive child is created. Next week, he’ll tell you how to handle this behavior in your home. When you’re standing in your... Read more »
What causes bad child behavior? James Lehman says it happens because children don’t yet know how to solve problems effectively. To put it another way, they're trying to handle many of the situations that life throws at them by acting out. They do this, frankly, because it's working for them. But here's the truth: If... Read more »
Do violent video games have an effect on childhood development? Virginia Tech Shooter Cho Seung-Hui was said to be an avid player of Counter-Strike, a popular team-based shooting game. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris were fans of Doom and Wolfenstein 3D, referring to the games in the videos they left for police to find after... Read more »
“You know the kid that no one wants to play with? The kid who stands alone at recess or lunch? Who never gets invited to birthday parties? That’s my kid. And it breaks my heart.” When a child is aggressive toward others – hitting, screaming, pushing, throwing things – the natural response of the people... Read more »
Recently, there have been several stories in the news about violence in children and what can—and should—be done about it. A five-year-old boy was taken out of his Kindergarten class in handcuffs in Indiana, and the same thing happened to a six-year-old girl in Louisiana. Talk shows and the news media have been hosting shows... Read more »
Q: What do the other children in the family experience when they have a brother or sister who’s hostile or acts out chronically? James: It’s traumatizing when something hurtful happens to you, and you can’t control it, you can’t stop it, you can’t predict how hurtful it’s going to be, and you can’t predict when or whether... Read more »
Karen hasn’t slept through the night in years—she’s too worried about her son Mason making it through high school. He tried two different schools and now takes online classes, but that's not working, either. Karen has resorted to sitting with him for three hours every night (after coming home from her full-time job) to help... Read more »
Why does arguing with your child give him power? When you engage in fights with your child, over time he will begin to believe that he is your peer and that he has the power to challenge you. This is a loaded situation because your child doesn't realize that this empowerment he’s feeling isn’t real.... Read more »
