Arguing & Fighting

Does your home sometimes feel like a battle zone?

Whether the argument occurs between you and your child or between siblings, these intense interactions have a way of wearing a parent down like no other behavior. Many parents find themselves pulled into an argument before they're even aware it’s happened. It can be tempting to stay engaged in these discussions, to try and win the argument or to get your child to understand your point of view.

In these moments, it can be helpful to recognize the purpose arguing serves for your child – it gives him power and the perceived notion that he can challenge you. Arguing and fighting levels the playing field and supports the idea that you and your child are peers. Keep in mind - you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to, as James Lehman reminds us in The Total Transformation Program.

You can walk away from an argument and teach your child better ways of solving his problems. Here are a few articles to get you started:

Arguing with Your Child? Five Things You Shouldn't Do

When Your Home is a Battle Zone: How to Resolve Conflicts Peacefully

How to Walk Away from a Fight With Your Child: Why It's Harder Than You Think

Parenting Teens: Parental Authority vs. Peer Pressure

By James Lehman, MSW

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It’s one of the hardest things parents deal with: even if you’re trying to raise your child the right way, as soon as he walks out the door, you know he’s going to be exposed to all sorts of negative—even dangerous—influences. From dress to attitude to a popular culture that says it’s cool to drink... Read more »

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