Arguing & Fighting

Does your home sometimes feel like a battle zone?

Whether the argument occurs between you and your child or between siblings, these intense interactions have a way of wearing a parent down like no other behavior. Many parents find themselves pulled into an argument before they're even aware it’s happened. It can be tempting to stay engaged in these discussions, to try and win the argument or to get your child to understand your point of view.

In these moments, it can be helpful to recognize the purpose arguing serves for your child – it gives him power and the perceived notion that he can challenge you. Arguing and fighting levels the playing field and supports the idea that you and your child are peers. Keep in mind - you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to, as James Lehman reminds us in The Total Transformation Program.

You can walk away from an argument and teach your child better ways of solving his problems. Here are a few articles to get you started:

Arguing with Your Child? Five Things You Shouldn't Do

When Your Home is a Battle Zone: How to Resolve Conflicts Peacefully

How to Walk Away from a Fight With Your Child: Why It's Harder Than You Think

Brother and sister sitting back-to-back defiantly

6 Ways to Stop Sibling Bickering and Rivalry

By Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC

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“Mom, he just called me a bad name.” “I did not, you liar!” “He did too, Mom, and he always does; you just never see it!” “Get lost, you brat; you’re such a baby!” “I hate you!” Siblings bicker; it’s what they do. They tease and taunt and fight. It can drive parents crazy and wear us down—and for good... Read more »

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Two brothers fighting

Kids Fighting? Your Summer Survival Guide

By Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC

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Why are our kids often at each other’s throats in the summer? The biggest cause of fighting during the long summer break is the fact that you’re spending a whole lot of time together. If external stresses increase—if there’s trouble at work, a bad break–up for one of your teens, or you’re caring for a... Read more »

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