Does Your Child Say This? "I’ll do it later."
When kids act out, they aren’t always confrontational. One way children get around the rules of the household is to procrastinate and put parents off until they eventually stop asking kids to help out. While many parents rationalize, “It’s easier if I just do it myself,” what you need to understand is that you are setting your child up to have a false sense of entitlement later on in life, a belief that “the world owes them something.” Here, James Lehman gives parents some effective responses in the face of your child’s passive resistance.
“I’ll do it later.”
Translation: If I put it off long enough, you’ll give up and I won’t have to do it. You’ll probably even do it for me.
Ineffective parenting response: “Ok, but make sure you get it done.”
Effective parenting response: “Well, that’s fine. But you won’t get your allowance until it’s done.” Or, “Well, that’s fine, but you can’t use the phone until it’s done.”
About James Lehman, MSW
James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation® Program, The Complete Guide to Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents One Plan™, from a place of professional and personal experience. Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management professionally. Together with his wife, Janet Lehman, he developed an approach to managing children and teens that challenges them to solve their own problems without hiding behind disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior. Empowering Parents now brings this insightful and impactful program directly to homes around the globe.