Does Your Child Say This? "You don’t love me."
Does your child use guilt to manipulate you? In this month’s issue, James Lehman, creator of The Total Transformation Program for parents, shows you how to deflect the guilt by using an effective response that puts the emphasis where it should be: on your child and the importance of following family rules.
“Why can’t I go out with my friends? You don’t love me.”
Translation: I’m going to put you on the defensive and hit you where it really hurts so you give in and let me go out.
Ineffective parenting response: “You know I love you! I took you to the mall yesterday!”
Effective parenting response: “The issue is not that I love you. The issue is we have rules in our family about Sunday afternoons.”
About James Lehman, MSW
James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation® Program, The Complete Guide to Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents One Plan™, from a place of professional and personal experience. Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management professionally. Together with his wife, Janet Lehman, he developed an approach to managing children and teens that challenges them to solve their own problems without hiding behind disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior. Empowering Parents now brings this insightful and impactful program directly to homes around the globe.