It’s that time of year again—the time when there’s a great deal of change happening! With some of it, you have a long time to think about what’s coming. With other changes, you may not have much time to think, and jumping into the changes happening around you can be very stressful.
Every now and then we come away unscathed, but other times we need to find a way to breathe and move on. These last few weeks brought a whole heap of transition into my life. We had two graduations and the unexpected passing of our dog, Hunter. The first two transitions were met with joy and a little sadness since one of my kids will be going off to college in August, which is thankfully only a half hour move from home. For me, having him go out of state would have been more than I could handle.
The other graduate will be going to High School, which he is much more prepared for this year. Getting him to this point was a bit of a challenge—last year when my husband traveled quite a bit, my son played video games through all his 8th grade tests, midterms, and finals. He truly thought there would be no repercussions! Boy, was he in for a surprise when his report card came at the end of the year and he was repeating the grade. When we presented him with the idea of repeating 7th grade, he did not want to hear of it. When it came down to the wire and there was no other choice, however, he faced that challenge with his head held high. His grades have soared and his attitude is something I commend. He did it! He faced that challenge with determination and maturity. I’m sure it wasn’t easy, but having friends in that grade helped him get through.
I have heard it discussed more than once, and I know a few friends who debated the issue of holding their child back due to age and immaturity. In all cases, the end result was something we could all be proud of.
The sad transition came last week when our dog Hunter was nowhere to be found. After looking for two hours by car and by foot, we found him hidden deep in a hole under a bush with not much life left in him. With no sign of sickness in the morning or the afternoon, we rushed him to the ER and had to put him down. It seems a tumor burst inside of him that no one knew he had, and he held on so that we all could be there for him. He has been a part of this family for 10 years, so his presence is missed around here: his bark, his twirling and his outstretched body when you are trying to sleep. There is a void, but two other dogs in the house have helped us get through.
I will leave you with this to help you when you are in a time of transition. It is from my book, “From Half to Whole: A journey to overcome the battle scars of adoption and living to tell about it” in a section called, “What I have taken away from this…”
Trust others to help you through.
Many great ideas come from talking and confiding in others.
People have a different perspective when they are not involved.
Along with ideas, people can give you support. We all need that when transition hits. Who do you have that helps you through? Call them, say “Thank you,” and then be there for them the next time they need you. Like Ellen says at the end of her shows, “Be kind to one another.”
We all get that thrill of transition that hits us whether we want it to or not, and when it comes a knockin’ we need to face it and rise above—just like my son did.
Kudos to him.
EDITOR’S NOTE: If you are a Total Transformation customer, you can access the 1-on-1 Coaching team for help with these and other challenges you’re experiencing with your child. 1-on-1 Coaches have helped hundreds of parents through numerous changes and transitions, and they can help you, too.
About Regina Radomski
Regina Radomski lives with her husband and their three children live in Northern NJ. Regina is also the author of From Half to Whole – a journey to overcome the battle scars of adoption and living to tell about it, a raw and honest look at the trials and tribulations of her family’s struggle to adopt and raise two young boys from Poland who came to America with a few stuffed toys in their backpacks and the trauma of their past. Regina is also the founder of Fillin’ the Blanks, a program offering support and solutions during the adoption process, and she is an Elite Life Coach and the NJ chapter coordinator of PAPA (Polish Adoptive Parents Association). Regina is currently starting an Adoption Family Planning program to help empower pre- and post-adoptive parents during their journey. For more information on Regina and her program, check out her website: http://www.reginaradomski.com/