It’s late. No matter how hard you try, sleep won’t come. Each time you close your eyes, your mind wanders…
He’s disorganized and unmotivated…how will he keep a job? He treats me like dirt…how could he possibly handle a relationship, or start a family?
…and the list goes on.
When battling behavior problems, it’s easy to think a child’s bad choices will lead to the worst possible outcome. This pattern of thinking can form a downward spiral – each negative thought growing bigger and more problematic than the last.
This is called futurizing. For parents, it can be one of the most destructive things you put yourself through. All the worry and stress pile up, and your energy starts to drain away – you become so focused on the future, you miss what’s happening in the present.
It’s very common for parents to futurize. My son is still a little guy, but I worry about him all the time! I understand your concern comes from wanting the best for your child. It’s important, however, to see the facts – not make predictions based on current behavior.
The greatest lessons come from moments of struggle and learning things the hard way. Kids will make poor choices, but that doesn’t mean things will always take a turn for the worst. Try and be good to yourself – parenting is hard work, and you’re doing great!
Ready to stop worrying and live in the now? We can help! Click here for five things you can start doing today.
Rebecca W., Empowering Parents Coach
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“Anxiety is contagious, and so is calm.” – Debbie Pincus, Author of The Calm Parent AM & PM
Rebecca Wolfenden is a loving Momma to her son and a dedicated 1-on-1 Coach. She earned her degree in Social Work from West Virginia University and has been with Empowering Parents since 2011. Rebecca has experience working with children and families in home settings and schools, and has extensive practice working with people of all ages who have survived significant emotional and physical trauma.