Good behavior isn’t “magic”


Just because you’re angry doesn’t mean you get to punch a hole in the wall, right?

Right — but what if your child doesn’t know what to do instead of punching a hole in the wall? What if that’s the only way they know how to deal with feeling angry?

We all experience anger (road rage, anyone?), but there’s a difference between punching a hole in a wall and counting to ten to calm down. As adults, we know the difference. Kids, on the other hand, need a little extra help.

Children must learn problem-solving skills in order to handle stressful situations appropriately.

How to read social situations, control impulses and manage emotions are all great examples of problem-solving skills. By learning these necessary skills, your child will be more prepared to navigate the challenges of adulthood.

To start coaching your child through the process of solving problems, we recommend having a conversation during a calm time (yes, these times do exist!). Check out The 3 Skills Every Child Needs for Good Behavior for tips on how to initiate this conversation and coach your child to solve problems appropriately.

James Lehman talks more about becoming a parent coach and problem-solving role model in Lesson 3 of The Total Transformation. These eye-opening behavior concepts help you learn how to coach your child from the sidelines.

Remember, this isn’t a path you have to walk alone. The Empowering Parents team is here to help support and guide you!

Talk soon,

Denise R., Empowering Parents Coach

Quote of the Week! “In the end, there is no magic solution to good behavior. The secret is really in teaching kids how to solve problems; good behavior is simply one of the fruits on that problem-solving tree.” — James Lehman, MSW


Denise Rowden is a parent of two adult children and has been a parenting coach since 2011. She has worked in Special Education, Alternative Education and adolescent group homes. She has a BS in Psychology from the University of Southern Maine and is currently working on her Life Coach certification from the International Coach Federation.

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