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Kids Won't Do Chores? Try Simple Appreciation

Posted by Adrian G

One of the toughest parenting tasks is to get your kids to do their chores.  Let’s face it; for most kids, chores are just not on their radar.  A ten year old just doesn’t see taking out the trash as a priority.  And it gets even harder with teenagers.

So, what’s a parent to do?  I think most parents have discovered that nagging and lectures just aren’t effective.  Why not try a totally different tactic?  Simple appreciation.

One of my managers had a sign in his office that stated this principle perfectly.  It said:

“Actions that are recognized and rewarded will be repeated”

What a great saying.  But look at it closely.  Notice that it doesn’t just say positive actions. It means any type of action – positive OR negative.

If you reward your child for whining by giving him what he wants, that negative action will be repeated. If you reward your daughter by ignoring her breaking of a rule, that action will be repeated also. Similarly, if you allow a child (or a husband!) to slide by on an assigned chore without consequences, that action will be repeated as well.

But if you come home and thank your son sincerely for unloading the dishwasher, compliment him on how nice the front lawn looks, and tell your daughter how proud you are that she has kept her room clean for the last few days, how likely is it that these positive actions will be repeated?

You might even take it a step further. I’ve been known to reward chores done well with surprise rewards of candy bars, some of their favorite soda, or other unexpected treats. Everyone likes a little surprise now and then — you’d be surprised at how much more cheerfully kids will do their chores when you just show them a little appreciation!


About Adrian G

Adrian raises her three boys, works, blogs, and chases her cats around. Adrian blogs about parenting, decluttering, managing your finances, and whatever else she feels like an expert on that day. Visit her at

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