Mom Needs Earplugs

Posted September 20, 2010 by

OMG, the constant cacophony of chaos in my home makes me insane!  My two ADHD children and my imaginative musical preschooler make for a great deal of noise.  Between the chatter of blatant antagonism, the shrieks of irritable frustration, and the riotous laughter of play, the decibel level in my home is frequently a +10.

I’m often embarrassed by not only the level of noise that emanates from the walls of my home, but the types of sounds.  I wonder if other parents hear the “weird” noises from their kids that I do?  There are frequently random shrieks, crazy laughter, whining & crying and frenzied screams of irritation which are always as loud as possible.  It doesn’t seem to matter what the consequence is for them when they are so loud, it is as if they are physically incapable of monitoring and managing their volume at times.  I don’t know if it has anything to do with the neurobiological issues at play or not, but it is enough to make me…. lose my mind!

Maybe it is a symptom of their difficulty with transitions and lack of structure.  For example, today my kids are particularly nutty and they have been in school for the last three days (since Wed.) but now they have three days off where each day at home holds something new.  Yes, I’m afraid my home is just NOT as structured as school. SURPRISE! (Just kidding.)

I think it is ok, and even important to allow kids the flexibility of unstructured time to play and to find out how to solve their own “boredom” problems.  Unfortunately, for my kids, that means a great deal of frustration and fighting in between the play.  I have to say though, that I do love the moments when they are playing well even more as a result .

What do the rest of you think?  Am I alone in the craziness…?


Melody is a wife and mother of three beautiful children ages 9, 8, and 3 years, each with their own challenges. A certified teacher, now a stay-at-home mom and family daycare provider, her days are filled with activity that engage a tremendous measure of energy, stamina, and courage! Melody blogs at My Twisted Stitches and is also a parent blogger for Empowering Parents.

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  1. Melody Report

    MommaC, Thank you so much for reflecting here, and no, you certainly are NOT alone! I love EP and the wonderful people who I have met as a result. I’m glad you found us!

  2. MommaC Report

    Wow….I feel so normal now! I have an 8 yr old ODD/ADHD son, a 5 year old daughter and 3 year old son – the younger two seem normal, but my youngest son is a boy, and intense..and loud. So, yes, there’s always fighting, and noise, the the play frequently gets too rowdy. Bedtime gets too crazy and we constantly promote calm. Play dates are a Godsend, and I too attempt structure, but every day is different, and though I’ve put as many systems in place to prevent discord with our oldest, I can’t ever be perfect, so there will be SOMETHING that sets him off, and I never know what it will be…so every day IS different. We just do our best, find calm where we can get it, use support help, sitters and date nights to keep the sanity. This is such a great place to know that we are facing similar struggles daily as the others….and let us never forget, we’re creating the future as we raise our kids!! That’s a big job!!!

  3. Melody Report

    Thank you so much Gurmay and Kim. <3

    I wholeheartedly agree to both of your sentiments. I have attempted time and time again to establish routine and structure within my home but, *sweat dripping* it sure is hard! I find that with various classes after school, doctor appointments, and meetings for me, the routine is just hard to stick by as it is different every day. I do have structure as I wrote a little bit about here:
    But even with that I feel I need to be manic to be able to focus on all the details of tracking and follow through. I tried to have them be responsible for the recording of their completed expectations, but so far that's a flop. For me, the challenge is follow through, follow through, follow through!

    Kim, I concur with the feeling of welcoming a full house of friends, as when they leave… Well, for me, my kids fight more together than when there are other friends to play with and hang out with. It is easier with others here because they entertain each other rather than bugging each other. The kids are happier, so I'm happier and I don't have to constantly discipline. They seem to be much more well mannered when their friends are around too. Hmmmm, I wish we could have play dates every day! 🙂

  4. Lisa Coleman Report

    I totally agree with Melody. I have an 8yr old daughter with ADHD, a 4yr old daughter and a 8mo old boy. Most of the time the volume from my girls, and sometimes all three, is enough to make me crazy also. No matter how many times I tell them to be quiet it only works for a few seconds. If they aren’t fighting, they’re laughing and screaming. I am sure my downstairs neighbors just love us.

  5. Kim Stricker Report

    Having two boys at home…I am happy to have more children over for play dates because really…if you have 2 you might as well have 5 or more over to play. It is always kinda crazy and bit wild. I encourage them to go outside when the inside decibels are too much for me. The running, building, throwing, hitting, and rule-arguing is a constant. But, I love seeing them run, swing, and work it out. Furniture forts get put back and Lego villages eventually fall. Kids are returned home and then the house seems quiet with just two.

  6. Gurmay Darlington Report

    I found your post about children diagnosed with ADHD to be really interesting when they are in their home setting. I highly recommend routines and structures to be most empowering for children diagnosed with ADHD.



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