The Total Transformation®
What is The Total Transformation Program?
The Total Transformation is a series of audio, video, and reading lessons that stream online to your phone, tablet, or computer. The lessons give you concrete tools to change your child’s behavior and restore peace to your family.
The Total Transformation takes you step by step through understanding and managing your child’s behavior and shows you exactly what you need to do to develop your child’s problem-solving skills—stopping bad behavior for good.
The program works well for parents of children from 5 to 25 years of age who exhibit anger, defiance, disrespect, lack of motivation, poor school performance, substance abuse, and lashing out (physically or verbally, including abusive behavior).
Does The Total Transformation really work?
We think the families who’ve used our learning programs answer this best. Thousands of parents, grandparents, teachers, and professionals have shared their positive experiences—with each other, online, and in video testimonials—about the effectiveness of The Total Transformation with their children and teens. Created by renowned child therapists James Lehman, MSW and Janet Lehman, MSW, the program is a life-changing tool for helping parents quickly address unwanted child behaviors. Check out our constantly updated reviews where you can see our customers’ authentic and unedited comments. Our goal is to help you get to what works with your child so you can form a better relationship, starting today.
What is The Total Transformation Online Package?
The Online Package is the The Total Transformation bundled with 5 additional parenting programs which, together, provide parents with a comprehensive set of tools to effectively manage challenging child behavior problems.
What happens after I sign up for The Total Transformation Online Package?
At the end of the checkout process you will come to the order confirmation page where you will see a blue “Go to My Account Dashboard” button. This will take you to your account dashboard where you can immediately access all the great programs offered with
The Total Transformation Online Package. From your dashboard, you can also manage your account, contact customer services, and connect with one of our parenting coaches.
To get started with a program, click on the one you want to work through and follow the on-screen directions. The programs stream right to your laptop, phone, or tablet. We track progress to make it easy to pick up where you left off. And you can review the lessons as many times as you like for as long as you are subscribed.
I signed up for The Total Transformation Online Package. Where should I begin?
Each of our parenting programs is self-contained and you can begin with any of them. For most parents, we suggest starting with The Total Transformation program because its principles form the foundation for all that we do. Next, we suggest The Complete Guide to Consequences and Getting Through To Your Child, both of which supplement what you learn in The Total Transformation with realistic role-playing scenarios. If you think that your child may have Oppositional Defiant Disorder or Conduct Disorder, then proceed with The ODD Lifeline.
What does The Total Transformation teach, and what types of behaviors are covered?
The Total Transformation helps parents with specific techniques that enable them to deal with problems such as fighting and arguing, lying, temper tantrums, talking back, destroying property, picking on siblings, bullying, acting sullen and withdrawn, lack of motivation, risky behavior, and behavior problems in school and in the community. It’s important to note that the skill-set honed in the program helps build stronger relationships with all children in the family, not only those who have attitude or behavior problems.
Will The Total Transformation work for all children?
Various factors impact whether the program is effective with a particular child—including the child’s age and developmental level, the child’s environment/background, and the parents’ consistency in applying the program. Acknowledging that, every day we hear from parents, grandparents, teachers, and other caregivers who have found success in using The Total Transformation. These concerned parents come from all walks of life and from all over the globe. We encourage you to read their authentic and unedited reviews.
My child's behaviors are not as extreme as James Lehman describes. Will this program work for me?
The program is designed for children ages 5 to 25 and is very effective for most child behavior problems, ranging from mild to severe. Any parent can benefit from the effective parenting strategies taught in The Total Transformation.
Is The Total Transformation religious-based?
The Total Transformation does not have any religious affiliation. Parents of all faiths (including those who don’t practice any religion) have used the program successfully with their families while remaining true to their own core values. Our emphasis is on helping all families to change unwanted behaviors in their kids.
My child has a diagnosis (such as ADD/ADHD, ODD). Will it work for him/her?
Yes. The Total Transformation can be helpful for children with these conditions and was born out of James and Janet Lehman’s decades of experience working with defiant, oppositional youth. A good approach for many families is to use the program tools in conjunction with the support of a trusted, qualified, and local professional.
Is there anyone who shouldn't use the program?
Children with autism, profound intellectual disabilities, and severe psychiatric disorders that result in an inability to communicate may not benefit from the techniques outlined in The Total Transformation. However, their parents may benefit from the parenting concepts taught in the program.
How long will it take to achieve a real change in my child's behavior?
Not long at all. Indeed, you might see a change in your child’s behavior almost immediately after you begin implementing the program. As they adopt more effective parenting roles, use behavior management techniques, and hone problem-solving skills, most families say they experience significant, lasting results as they work with the program.
Can this program work for me if I'm divorced and my ex lets my child(ren) get away with everything at his/her house?
Yes. One of the primary goals of The Total Transformation is to develop a “Culture of Accountability” between you and your child. You will be able to teach your child to be accountable for his behavior in your home, regardless of the standards of behavior and expectations in the other parent’s home.
Can grandparents use The Total Transformation?
Many, many grandparents use The Total Transformation with great results. Some of these grandparents are raising their grandchildren, while others share the program with their grandchildren’s parents. The Total Transformation will help you develop a “Culture of Accountability” between you and your grandchild and teach him or her to be accountable for his/her behavior in your home.
Can The Total Transformation be used by teachers, educational technicians, and counselors?
Absolutely. Countless teachers, mental health professionals, and caregivers use our program daily. Every adult who interacts with children in a meaningful way can benefit from the concepts and practical ideas presented in The Total Transformation.
Is The Total Transformation the same as therapy?
The Total Transformation is not therapy. Where therapy is usually child-centric, our program is parent-centric. The Total Transformation addresses how a parent can change the behavior dynamic by learning effective parenting skills.
Should I use The Total Transformation instead of counseling? Should I stop my child's therapy, counseling, medication, etc.?
The Total Transformation is not intended to take the place of professional therapy, counseling, or medical treatment. Parents of children who are currently under the supervision of a professional should not discontinue care without speaking to this professional. This program is not intended as a substitute for medication, and you should never discontinue a child’s medication without consulting a qualified professional.
What is the age range for which The Total Transformation is designed to be used?
The Total Transformation is a valuable resource for parents of children of any age because it provides guidelines to help you develop the most effective and productive parenting style for any given situation. Although it is recommended for children ages 5 to 25, you may see immediate results with children of any age. By the time a “typical” child reaches the age of 5, all of the concepts in The Total Transformation would apply to him or her. As your child grows, you’ll see the added benefit of the advanced features of the program. Each child is different and only you can know for sure what is right for yours.
Does The Total Transformation work with children with medical diagnoses?
James and Janet Lehman designed
The Total Transformation as a powerful tool for parents—a tool that also supports behavior therapy goals at home. The best way to see if the program will be helpful in your specific situation is to try the program in your home, along with the support and guidance of your mental health and medical treatment professionals. Various factors may affect whether the techniques are effective with a particular child, including the child’s age and developmental level, the child’s setting and environment, and the parent’s skill in applying the techniques.
Note: The Total Transformation is not designed to deal with children who have severe psychological disorders or medical conditions that impair their communications or problem-solving skills. Children who exhibit signs of dangerous behavior, either to themselves or others, should be placed under the care of a qualified professional. The Total Transformation is not intended to take the place of professional therapy, counseling, or medical treatment. Parents of children who are currently under the supervision of a professional should not discontinue such care without speaking to this professional. This program is not intended as a substitute for medication. You should never discontinue a child’s medication without consulting a qualified professional.
Two Parents, One PlanTM
I am currently seeing a counselor with my co-parent. Should I use this program instead of counseling?
This program is not designed to be a replacement for therapy or counseling. Many parents find that it is a helpful addition to local, in-person support they are currently receiving to address parenting differences they may be experiencing.
What if my spouse/co-parent refuses to listen? Can the program still work?
It can be frustrating when your co-parent refuses to work together to address parenting differences you may be experiencing. However, it is not a requirement that the co-parent goes through the program with you. James Lehman explains how to develop an individual “culture of accountability,” which exists between you and your child. He also explains how you can own your role in the interactions with your child and how you can respond most effectively.
The ODD LifelineTM
My child's behavior is so bad! Will this program work with my child?
The ODD Lifeline program was developed from the experience Kimberly Abraham and Marney Studaker-Cordner have in working with oppositional, defiant kids in both private practice and through court-ordered programs. In addition, Kim has a son with ODD. The techniques described in the program have helped numerous families to feel more in control, even if the child’s behavior is more severe.
My child has Conduct Disorder and is constantly in trouble with the law. How can this program help me?
This program is designed to help families with their child’s behavior, even if the behavior has crossed the line from ODD to Conduct Disorder. The ODD Lifeline has an entire lesson devoted to teaching parents how to respond most effectively when the child is in trouble with the police, school, or has entered the legal system.
Life Over the InfluenceTM
My child struggles with substance abuse. Can this program help, even if my child is underage?
A struggle with substance abuse and addiction is not something most parents envision for their child. When your child is a minor, there are additional considerations that must be taken into account. Life Over The Influence includes a guide of rights and responsibilities for parents of minor children, which outlines how you can best help your child through this struggle.
I have been to Alcoholics Anonymous and counseling. How is this program different?
Kimberly Abraham developed the program from her own experience in dealing with substance abuse in her family (her father, sister, husband, and son). Counseling, Alcoholics Anonymous and other forms of support can be beneficial when your loved one is using substances. Kim used many of these resources on her own journey as well. She found that these resources didn’t always address some of her issues. This program is designed to help you feel more empowered when addressing your loved one’s substance abuse in the privacy of your home and at your own pace.
Should I have my loved one listen to the program too?
This program is designed for you to use, so you can start to take back control of your life despite your loved one’s struggle with substance use. The techniques are not designed to address substance use directly, rather to empower those who are impacted by others’ substance use.
Other Questions
How do I access my parenting programs?
From your laptop, phone, or tablet, go to
https://www.empoweringparents.com and log in using your email address and the password you created when you purchased
The Total Transformation Online Package. Once logged in, click on the Account menu (upper-right) and select My Programs. Click on the desired program and follow the on-screen directions. We track progress so it is easy to pick up where you left off. Watch our instructional video below:
How do I cancel?
You may cancel your subscription at any time, and you will continue to have access to programs and services through the end of your billing period. To cancel, go to your Account Dashboard, click on the Subscriptions tab, and click Cancel. Please
Contact Us if you have any questions.
What are your refund policies and other terms and conditions?
Please review the
Terms and Conditions of our services for our refund, billing, and other policies. And please
Contact Us if you have any questions.
I found this program to be extremely helpful in many ways.
From learning how to talk to different types and give age appropriate consequences and rewards.
I believe the key to raising responsible, respectable, positive, and productive children is to start at a very young age to teach them the VALUE of living by the rules and teach them to have the consciousness and tools to make good/positive choices on their own.
This program teaches you how to do that.
If you do not start at a very young age (1 to 2 years old) you can lose control of your child very quickly.
If you have lost control and respect, or starting to lose control and respect, then you need this program to start learning these methods as SOON AS POSSIBLE.
The Total Transformation company is honest, caring, true to their word, respectful and can help you and your children bond together... it's going to take work, but it's worth it!
Best to You!
Absolutely fabulous program! James Lehman explains difficult concepts in very easy to follow terms and steps. I began to change my methods immediately after the quick star DVD. With my change in approach, my child's attitude began to change just as fast. I continue to use what I've learned through this program, and my child has made a 180 degree turn.
THANK YOU JAMES.
I loved this DVD. It taught me so much about not whether or not I'm a good parent, but if I'm an effective parent. That mindset is so important in me being able to keep my composure during heated situations.
I really understand how important it is to have consequences that are related to the offense. Instead of having my son get used to "jail" time through groundings, he is productively working on concepts of problem-solving and "righting" wrongs with people. I'm also working on helping him think about those things, what he could do differently next time to stay out of trouble and make different choices. My thinking is more about what I want to accomplish with the consequences, to come up with something more appropriate to achieve a particular goal. He is more productive in his consequences as a result. He also likes it less because I'm making him think about what he did, for a much longer time.
My son is a former foster youth, so he has many things to un-learn from his past of unwise decision-making, and to learn the proper things. However I'm confident that we have more effective ways of dealing with his behavior now. As a result, I know we will see results a lot more quickly, especially since our prior method of consequences wasn't working.
My son (9yrs old) has been the way he is since he was 3 years old, that's when we started noticing that he was different. Since then, he progressively has become more angry, and I mean screaming like he was possessed by something, more irritable, quick to over-react, thinks he's the victim and everyone owes him, sneaky, disrespectful...Oh, and not to mention that he was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and ODD. We have tried EVERYTHING to help him...medication, mountains of parenting plans, books, techniques, counseling...NOTHING WORKED...NOTHING.
For me as his mom, the combination of who he was and who I am became a toxic and very defeating combination. I was sad and frustrated and more times than I like to admit, hated my own child. I knew parenting was hard, but this was so far beyond hard and there was nothing working and I felt extremely lost.
After hearing about the Total Transformation program on TV, I went to the Empowering Parents website and began exploring and discovered the O.D.D. Lifeline. I saw that I could try it out first and if it didn't seem to work, I could return it and get a refund. I ordered it, listened to it in the car driving to and from school and within a few days I was done with it, tried it and my son became worse! BUT they said that could and probably would happen.
What I started noticing more and more was that because I was starting to control my reactions, my son started to change his reactions. To understand specifically how to handle a situation, exactly what to do, say and implement and then see some results is so amazing!!! To be able to look at my son through a different lens and understand what and why he's doing something from a psychological point of view, helps me control myself. Knowing that I'm supposed to talk and walk away when I'm "laying down the law" has been such a powerful part. Knowing that a lot of his difficulty is a problem solving impairment and being able to help him with that is something I've never done, but not only does it help him, it helps me too. His over-reaction episodes have diminished, his recovering time for temper tantrums has decreased, he is beginning to understand that taking a break in his room to create space and time can be a good thing. He's beginning to self-correct his disrespectful tone, which is amazing. It's only been a few months so these are just a few areas that I've noticed.
I can't fully express what it feels like to feel like a failure as a parent every single day for years, but to say the least it wears on you. Through the O.D.D. Lifeline techniques I don't feel like a failed parent every day. Sure, we have our bad days and that's okay. The difference is that now I see through the Oppositional Defiance tricks and recognize the behaviors for what they are and am better equipped to know how I should react.
I know that the price can scare some people, but I'm telling you, if you can get the money together, BUY THE PROGRAM!!! You don't even have to pay for it all up front, you can try it out for a month and see how it goes. It's not going to hurt you to try another program, but it will hurt your child if you don't try anything. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, PARENTS! This worked and continues to work for my son. I hope it works for your child.
Takes time to change reacting to teens actions and attitudes. Changing things slowly but I am determined.
I really am a busy working mom, but had to take the time to show my appreciation to Total transformation! Great tips and skills and most of all took away that guilty conscious I always had for no reason!
Thank you!
I enjoyed working through the Total Transformation Program and completing the workbook. Because of the tools provided through this course, I agreed to take care of my 4 grandsons last summer for a two day overnight stay with them. My young grandsons responded well to me once I set the tone with my expectations and their responsibilities.
We had a glorious time with full participation and cooperation in every situation. I mainly used the reward method with incentives for special activities or special privileges and they had a fun time too.
Because of the age differences it proved at times to be quite challenging but it did not drain me as I had anticipated at the onset.
I recommend this program highly to every new or experienced parent. This is a great program to be used as a preventative measure to insure a more stressless child rearing experience. It also will prevent major problems that often arise as the kids mature. Using Dr Lehman's method of child rearing will result in well adjusted, happy and responsible future citizens of the world.
Dear Mary,
Thank you for your candid feedback about The Total Transformation Program. We’re disappointed to hear that our program hasn’t been helpful for you. We strive to create the most effective programs to help all families. We also understand that each family situation is unique and that it can be discouraging when you are not seeing the results you had hoped for. Please don’t give up. Our Support Line Coaches are here to help you use the program tools with your grandchild and create an action plan to address the problem behaviors you are facing. They can help you find a starting point and make the entire process easier for you. Please know that we want to help you achieve the results you were looking for when you called us and that we’re here for you. You can reach our Customer Support Team at 800-460-2235. We’ll be glad to help you.
the Total Transformation Program teaches us parents how to separate emotions and deal with the facts. Also how to set up clear behavior expectations.
Before seeing this program, I thought it was our responsibility as parents to change our son's bad behavior. Now I know and accept the fact that it is up to him to change. Our responsibility is to coach him to make choices ... if he makes good choices he can be rewarded with things/privileges that matters to him, or if he makes poor choices, he suffers consequences.
This program offers the tools to help parents gain back the control of their house.
I feel blessed that I heard about the opportunity to obtain and implement the use of The Total Transformation Program for dealing with the behavior of our two sons. Learning and implementing the "Alternative Response" method has improved our communication with our sons by providing us with the necessary tools for dealing with inappropriate behaviors. It has been a slow process, and we are still trying to learn these concepts and use them effectively, but the learning curve is manageable and the results are certainly worth the effort. I really wish my parents had had this opportunity when I was growing up in the early 70's for dealing with me, and an abusive sibling, and my hope for me and all parents with children who have abusive responses to solving life's everyday problems, is that the buck stops here. It is in our power, with the necessary and appropriate tools, to effect life-changing behaviors in our children, but it has to begin with us, the parents. Thank you also to Dr. Lehman for making it possible to acquire this program for a minimal, if not totally free, cost. I was blessed with an advanced degree in education, and I could see where my immigrant parents, with their minimal educations and knowledge of the English language, would really have struggled with the program. Is the program available in other languages; i.e. Spanish?
Thank you,
Paul
The Total Transformation Program is something I believe everyone should be taught in high-school!! Its parenting in a nutshell. My children were in there late teens and early twenties, but I found it to be the best eye opener, practical and easily applicable program ever. I doubt there is a better one out there. I wish I had the knowledge I have now 35 years ago. The information is easy to understand and applicable in other relationships as well.
All I can say is it's wonderful!!
This is an excellent program for children (of all ages) with serious behavior problems--the kind of problems you do not even want to admit to others that you have, because (you fear) that they make you look like a horrible parent!(When, in truth, you could not love your children more, and you are doing the best you can!!) I, especially, love certain concepts that Dr. Lehman uses, such as: Accept No Excuse for Abuse.
Anyway, I believe Dr. James Lehman is a genius, and I cannot think of any critical issue that he does not address!
My son is now 30 years young with three children of his own. For many years, I wanted to get the Total Transformation whilst my son was in his teen years and living at home. As a single mom it just seemed impossible to dedicate any extra money to this endeavor. As a grandmother I became very concerned about my son's behavior with his children, his wife, and me.
I learned about boundaries and consequences and most importantly how I've never quite understood it enough to implement it during childrearing. In fact, what is due when confronted by my son was to confront back. Thereby, showing (in my mind) my parental strength. This was all wrong!
All came to head this past summer when I was providing a vacation with my sons family just a few weeks before the planned trip, my son verbally abused me yet again. This timing was coincidental to my finishing up the T T program. Something inside me clicked and i called off the trip citing that I "just didn't care to be with my son." It ruined everyone's anticipated fun, I was the bad guy. The babies were not gonna enjoy the beach and boardwalk and rides, all because of my "drama", according to my son. I was so guilty, I cried. But, somewhere deep inside, I regained strength through this action. My son found that I had a boundary and limits and that there was a consequence. He has been nicer since. He's been curbing his speech.
I'm hoping that I'm teaching him how to be with his children and wife.
I haven't started the "Calm Parent" yet and I know that it will be beneficial to all of us. I did learn also to state my case and walk away. I keep implementing the little things that James talks about. Better late than never!
Maria Messina
Dear TTCrosby,
We’re very sorry to learn that our program has disappointed you. We commend you for taking action to help your 6 year old, and we wish we could have helped you. The techniques in the program are intended to help children ages 5-18 and have indeed helped many parents of young children. Our Parental Support Line coaches work with parents of young children to help them adapt the program techniques to young children. We see that you did have access to our PSL service for a short time. Please know that the service is always available for you to resume at any time. Sometimes the program is simply not a fit. This is why we very much appreciate constructive feedback we receive from customers in their feedback surveys. According to our records, we never received your completed feedback survey. We are very interested in reading your feedback, and if you have a copy of the completed survey you mailed in, we will gladly honor the terms of the offer. Please contact our Customer Service team at 1-800-460-2253. We will be happy to help you. Your success with your child is our common goal.
we signed up for the free offer, but after listening to the discs of James and co., working in the workbook and implementing these practices with our 5 young children, I didn't feel right getting it for free. The program is magnificent. I'd recommend it to all. Now is it going to be made available in Spanish?
As a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, I'd love to recommend it to all my patients or their parents that is. Most of us can't get into counseling weekly, but with this program, these resources can come right to us! Highly recommended.
When I purchased this program, I did so for my sister. She had a very stressful home life with a 19-year-old daughter and a granddaughter who were both big challenges. I waited for her to use the program and she kept making excuses why she didn't have time. Towards the end of the year, I pushed her and she finally started to pay attention. The changes were immediate. She is still working on it, but her life has improved dramatically!
Here is the best part, however. I used the program myself, even though I didn't have children! I was intrigued by what I learned and started implementing the techniques in my business. I have 10 employees and I found I had no control over my staff. I wasn't being treated seriously and my direction was being ignored. I began to use the methods in my own business and saw a dramatic improvement! I strongly suggest that ANYONE, with or without children, use the program! It has been nothing short of miraculous for me in the way I handle my own life and how people regard me and how I see myself. It is truly empowering!
The Total Transformation Program has it all in an easy to use learning system. The videos provide a multitude of tools for parents to use for a variety of behaviors/situations.
These can be used as a means of prevention, discipline, and long term positive results.
The best part of The Total Transformation Program is that the age, gender, and the severity are different which gives something for all people viewing the materials. In fact, I have used some of the tools in my own classroom in order to maintain structure and order without disruption.
Last, but not least, I absolutely loved the Empowering Parents Newsletter via email. These are great because I would print and read whenever I had a free moment. The articles often contained topics like recent trends, schools, gender differences, and like the entire system, providing a better means to parenting and acquiring the desired behavior.
As an educator and a single mother of 3 sons, I would not hesitate to recommend The Total Transformation program.
I am lucky because my boys have been "good kids". Still, The Total Transformation Program gave me ideas, skills, and reasons to make sure they stayed that way.
Dear No Help in Alabama,
We’re very sorry to hear that our program has disappointed you. We understand how little time parents have in a day, especially when they are struggling with their child.
Because of that, we want you to know that we are here to help you. Please don’t give up. When you ordered The Total Transformation Program, you chose the option that allows you a year to complete the program, fill out your feedback survey and receive a refund of the product price. Given that you ordered in early July, you still have time to use the program at a pace that works for you. Our Customer Service team is here to answer any questions you have about your survey along the way. You can also get help from our Parental Support Line coaches. They work with parents every day to implement the techniques in the program with their children. Access to our Support Line is always available by calling Customer Service at 1-800-460-2253.
Please know that we are here for you and want to see you succeed. In the next 10 months, we can help you to reach your goals with your child.
Until working through this program, I blamed Obnoxious behavior of children directly on the parents. This meant when it started happening in extremes with my son and I, that I internalized all his behavior as my fault OR blamed my ex-husband.
James helped me grow out of this excuse driven mentality and see things MUCH clearer.
This program and my being totally honest with its workbook and techniques, helped me stop the cycle of ineffectiveness. The massive changes in my approach through these techniques are making a tremendous difference.
These differences are with both my 15 year old, and me. Some occurred immediately upon use of a technique (like "there is no excuse for abuse, and setting the situation up for next time) and some others are occurring more slowly (replacement behavior and strategic coaching).
My son and I are able to coexist again and are building a much healthier parent/child relationship as a result of the Total Transformation.
Although, we are still conquering various attitudes/obstacles in behavior, With consistent use of this material I look forward to his remaining three years before entering adulthood and KNOW he'll be better prepared as a result of my embracing James' parenting techniques.
I was at my wits end. Sassing, not doing chores without being put off and given EVERY excuse possible.
After going through the lessons and workbook, my child is doing chores and talking respectfully to us.
Thank you Dr. and Mrs. Lehman for bringing sanity back to our home!!!
It is very isolating to have a child with ADHD/ODD. Everyone is quick to offer advise, an opinion, or cast judgment and it was making me want to just stay home and avoid all of it, for myself and my son. ODD Lifeline helped me take the focus of ME and place it where it belongs - on my son. I was able to verbalize to him very simple, specific terms how his behavior was no longer a reflection on me but was a direct reflection on HIS choices. This enable me to emotionally separate myself from the embarrassment of his behavior and helped reduce the tension in our relationship.
My son is 8 years old and although he may never outgrow his ADHD/ODD, the Lifeline program and helped me realize I can teach him the skills he needs now to make his own decisions and receive his own rewards of consequences based on his choices.
The Total Transformation helped us to see the mistakes we were making in raising our son. Our mistake was in trying to be a friend instead of a parent. We were trying to reason with our son instead of just applying the rules and being parents. The Total Transformation gave us specific techniques to use to help us control our difficult situations with our son.
It takes a lot of work, but it was well worth it.
well i have to say that as a parent of four and a former teacher that i personally have learned a lot from he program. my children are basically set up in two separate families. one older, they are in college and the other set younger they are going into middle school and high school. so this started for me as a new game plan! boys are different than girls! round two! my younger two also had health issues when they were young.. thus they were treated differently to begin with... hurdles that had to be overcome.
so like i said i have had the plan for about six weeks or so and i can see some changes that i really like! we still have work to do. with this being summer its better because the kids and i have more time together.
I foind this programme very helpful
The way the programme work is very simple,because it is explained in way that you follow it step by step and very comfortabley.
I thing it is really helpful to have this programme for new parents. Even if the kids r small you csn still handle them the programme teaches you.
Thank you for all the technique and solutions.
Total Transformation helped me to see that my children's behavior was not my fault. I had been so berated and disrespected by them for so long that I began to believe them and blamed myself for their actions, choices and behavior. My first phone call to Total Transformation left me in tears, but very hopeful tears because this very calm, sweet voice told me at the start... "This is not your fault." I desperately needed to hear those words. Upon receiving the program, the changes in our household were immediate. The tools are given in such a simple step by step method and very easy to follow. The Parental Support Line (which I dubbed as "my hotline") was the icing on the cake. I could not have done this without them. Everyone was always calm, attentive and kept me focused no matter the situation. They not only listened and advised but they really helped me to learn how to do this on my own. Since starting the program eight months ago, I now am much calmer, can hold my head up and have my confidence in parenting back. In addition, our home is much calmer, much less arguing, and little to no yelling. My children are learning valuable skills and although we are still dealing with some issues, they are much more focused and cooperative and I am very hopeful and confident.
Thank you Total Transformation!
My son has severe ADHD and sometimes can be a real handful.
This program is in NO means a cure or a "fix all" but it has helped both of us cope better and understand each other better.
There are still days where the ADHD gets the better of us both but those days are no where near as frequent as they use to be.
If your looking for HELP (there is NO cure) with your ADHD child then this system works.
Time restraints caused a delay in my getting started with the Total Transformation Program. I opened it several months after I had received it.
I am a single grandmother of 58, raising two pre-teens, that have done nothing but lacerate each other from the time I took them in (9 years ago). After that last brutal hollering match between these two, and myself as referee, I decided that that was the last straw!
I picked up the program and started watching and learning. Immediately, I started putting some suggested ideas from Total Transformation into practice. Within two days, the hollering, screaming, and name calling, stopped! I no longer referee. Awwwwww, peace and quiet.
Today, they are now sharing more, laughing and playing with each other (which I thought I'd never see), and are respectful towards each other. I have taken my rightful place as grandmother and not referee. I am simply amazed! Thank you Total Transformation for giving me back my peace.
Dear Sir,
Thank you for taking the time to share your observations on our feedback survey offer. It is disappointing that it seems to have been a negative experience for you; it is certainly not our intent.
However, your review gives us the opportunity to shed some light on the feedback survey offer so every customer understands our process and we can learn from each interaction. For any customer to receive a refund of the product price, all customers are asked to use the program with their child and respond to the questions for each lesson, indicating what worked and did not work for them. There are about 8 questions to answer for each of the 7 lessons. Some answers simply require check marks. Some require very short answers, and some ask the customer to share their results with certain techniques in a couple of sentences. We simply ask customers to answer all of the questions in order to receive their refund. We do realize that it takes time to complete the full survey and for that reason, we provide 6 months to a year to complete the program and survey (depending on the option the customer chooses) and we allow parents to keep the program at no cost to them. We are also confident that the immersion in the program and survey deepens the effectiveness of the program and the understanding of each family.
Many customers have told us that while the feedback survey was a significant time investment for them, it helped them to learn the techniques more effectively because they gave more thought to how to apply them. If for any reason our customers feel unsure about how to implement the techniques and provide the requested feedback, they should contact our Customer Service Department and ask questions as they come up throughout the improvement process. We are here to help.
It is unfortunate that the feedback survey promotion did not result in a good experience for you. We do hope that using the program with your child has helped you and that it will continue to help your family in the future.
The Total Transformation is such a wonderful tool to use. It has helped our family so much. We no longer bicker and argue with our children, we have all learned how to communicate better as a family. Thank you for an amazing product!!!
Thank you,
Richard and Wendy Lowe
I started listening to the tapes immediately and work in the handbook to learn as soon as possible how to fix the behavioral problems with my son. I applied several techniques and it smoothly corrected the situation. It was not a radical change, more like a transition. I especially liked the:do not talk to me that way, and walk away. The: going to the room transition, the approach to give consequences while giving him an action to correct the issue, then if done correctly it can be used as a reward. We still have ups and downs but there is no comparison, life is better, not perfect, in the family... I still have a lot to put in practice, now on my daughter who is copying my son ex behavioral issues...
In any case my extended family noticed how much better my son is behaving now.
My sincere gratitude for this program.
I was so miserable with my toddler before Total Transformations. Every tiny task was a fight with my daughter. I would end the day exhausted, frustrated, and miserable. I felt like a failure. At the rate we were going, I never planned to have more than one child.
After working through the program, our entire family dynamic has changed. I actually ENJOY being with my daughter! Thank you James and Janet!! I am now pregnant with my second child and confident in my ability to be an effective parent.
My husband and I are raising our 12 year old granddaughter. After her mother and stepfather separated and they basically both fell apart and into drugs, we took in our granddaughter. As you can imagine, this was a very sad and complicated time. Our granddaughter is a wonderful person, but did come with behavior problems. We were not communicating. She was falling apart when instructed to take part in doing chores, getting ready for school, and bed time. We were getting angry. My husband and I argued on what to do with her.
I tried therapy, but realized that it was going to help, and personally didn't see that my granddaughter needed to talk to a stranger. I was listening to the adds for Total Transformation ads every morning. during a particular frustrating morning I called in to get the program.
With the first tape they give you support and show you how to get your power back. They do this with simple direct common sence instruction. From there they build your confidence and through instruction and the worksheet you learn about your child and yourself. I learned what I was responsible for, and how to walk away from arguments. I learned how to problem solve with my grandaughter. I am confident that we both can use this skill in other relationships. It no longer feels hopeless.
I am a mom who has an adult teenage son with a strong will & very headstrong.
I have tried many things. Consiquences with amends is helping. I have to be more calm & less involved in doing & let him be more committed to correcting it himself.
I have stopped financially fixing or just yelling.
You have a good program that gives good examples & I am seeing training that is working for me. My son & I are still having struggles but our dialogue has improved. Thank you, Noel S.
Dear ams1149,
We’re sorry that we caused you this frustration. When you reached out to order The Total Transformation on our website, that experience should have provided hope and answers for you and your daughter. We regret that it resulted in a negative experience.
One of our Customer Service Representatives reached out to you on April 23 regarding your concerns. We’re glad we could resolve the issue for you and that you’re pleased with the outcome.
Janet Lehman says frequently that change is always possible with children and that it can happen at any time. Although our program has not yet been helpful for your daughter, we hope that it someday will be—that one of James’ techniques will help her to have better interactions with her four children and allow her to have peace in her home. Please know that we will be here for her if she needs us. Personalized help is always available through our Parental Support Service.
Dear Cindy,
We regret that your experience with us was not satisfactory and that our program did not provide the help you were looking for. Our program is indeed designed to change the negative behaviors of children rather than focus on why they misbehave. With this basic tenet in mind, we encourage you to practice the principles in the program to help you make the changes you’re looking for.
We’d also like to reiterate the terms of our offer as stated on our website upon the placement of your order. When customers order online, they pay only $19 shipping and processing at the time of purchase. Then in 30 days, we bill the first of three refundable monthly payments of $109 plus any applicable sales tax. When we receive their completed survey within 180 days from the delivery date, we refund all payments made and cancel any future payments, less shipping and handling. We strive to communicate these policies in a clear and transparent way in all customer communications, and we adhere to our stated policies for all of our customers.
Our most important concerns are your satisfaction and success. One of our Customer Service Representatives left you a message on April 23 to offer assistance and to provide guidance on our refund policy. Please call us at 1-800-460-2253 when you can. We’re here Monday through Friday, 8:30 am to 5 pm EST. We appreciate your patience and understanding and look forward to speaking with you soon.
I absolutely LOVED this program. I was able to implement the strategies with my 11 year old right away.
The best part....I felt immediate relief! I realized her behavior is not my fault, not a sign of bad parenting, it is merely the choices she is making.
Because I felt empowered and understood that all I could really do is guide my child, I felt at ease.
I easily laid out rule and regulations, explained what was expected and then stuck with the consequences of her decisions.
There is a lot of power in following through on a consequence after giving my child the power to choose. I even used the words, "you want to be in control and have control, and you do, by the choices you make" SHe has not liked the consequences but she understands there are some.
I even used the examples given when a child does property damage, steals belongings, etc and noticed better behavior choices right away.
Most importantly, I now Know how to protect myself from the school, and system should my child continue to make choices that aren't in her best interest even though I've guided her.
I now know how to show that I've done my part as the parent, and I know how to advocate that my child be the one paying consequences of her actions, behaviors and choices.
Thank you so much ....This hasn't "fixed" my child, but it has empowered me to do my job as a parent and not go crazy.
I know I will be reviewing this material on a regular basis.
Thank you thank you thank you
We have one child with sensory/anger issues and having a lot of difficulty getting him of the iPad without swearing and meltdowns. (He is 8)
It took one day for the Total Transformation training to work - he is much calmer now and his little sister, who is 5, is responding beautifully to this training as well. Fantastic training, Don't wait!
We adopted a sibling group of 3 kids and we've had them in our home for 3 years prior to getting the total transformation.
We have learned that getting enough sleep is important for us, and staying calm puts us in a much better position to deal with the children's behavior.
It's great to feel like we have some control again. The kids had it for awhile and I think they knew it when we would be mad. We took it personally, now we take it as 'family business'. This is acceptable, or it's not and that's just the way it is.
We've had several councilors over the years, and I think they would say we're much better equiped to be parents with the total transformation in our library.
The councilor we have now, reaffirms our position almost every week on our 'reactions' to the children's behavior. it's nice to have her affirmation on our success as well.
I will not say things are perfect, but at least we're not counting on the other parent to hold it together while we get mad at the behaviors. That didn't seem to work much in the past. :)
One of councilors said the total transformation is like a boot camp. I don't see it that way. I see it as different tips and tricks that will help you manage your family. If you need to follow it like a boot camp, you may need to, we took the tricks and tried them out. We love them!
The Complete Guide to Consequences was so helpful in dealing with my son. In the total transformation, they go into detail about consequences and how they should be applied, but it really made a huge difference seeing those things role-played out.
My husband had not gone through the total transformation with me and the other day, had gotten really frustrated with a situation where my son was being defiant and disrespectful. He finally said, "What can I do? What can I listen to from some of that stuff you've been learning that can help me here?"
I told him we should just sit down and watch the Consequences role-playing DVD, and that'd give him a great overview of what I'd learned in the Total Transformation.
So, we did that and he felt so much better. He finally was able to grasp what I had been talking about and felt like he could "mimic" what the parents were doing successfully with their kids in those situations.
My only complaint about the Complete Guide to Consequences is that there weren't MORE! I would love to see some role plays on what to do when a child refuses to hand over their ipod, phone, or video game. I'd also love to see some role playing dealing with drug use/abuse, alcohol use/abuse, etc.
Thank you so much for this valuable resource!!
The video that presents real life scenarios between parent and errant children was immediately, instantanly powerful and extremely productive when I followed the guidelines.
NO MORE SHRIEKING in our home.
Taking the emotion out of my interaction with the children when I'm observing unacceptable behavior for the "millionth time," has "magically" changed the whole dynamic of the exchange. Thank you.
I heard about the program long time ago ,and I was receiving email as atraicails from total transformation program .i have lessin to the discs every time I played Iagain i learn some thing new.
I have discovered my negative peranting ,I notes some change
With me ,but still have not change with his mom.
Thank you.
Dear Little Y,
We’d like to thank you for reaching out and are happy to hear that you are pleased with The Total Transformation Program. Since parents are applying new techniques with their children and to their own parenting styles, James Lehman recommends taking the lessons in order and doing one lesson each week, no more. Consumers who do follow this recommendation find that they are able to complete their Feedback Survey in approximately 30 minutes per lesson while learning the skills that they need for their situation. They also find that the Feedback Survey helps them to cement the lessons they’ve learned which in turn creates the best possible learning experience.
We hope that even though you were unable to complete your Feedback Survey for a refund, you will continue to find successes with your family when using the tools and techniques from The Total Transformation Program.
Dear Shreenk,
We’re sorry to hear that The Total Transformation Program did not meet your expectations. The Total Transformation Program, created by renowned behavioral therapist James Lehman, offers practical, real world solutions for the most challenging problems parents face. The program is a hands-on behavior modification program that teaches parents/guardians how to change their child’s thinking, in turn changing their child’s behavior. It is ideally designed to be a course in teaching parents how to effectively teach problem solving skills to their children by creating a “culture of accountability” in the home.
When it comes to punishment, James Lehman believed that punishments are not effective because they only teach a child to “do time” for a negative behavior, which is counterproductive. A consequence is something that follows naturally from a person’s action, inaction or poor decision. It differs from a punishment in that a punishment is retribution. Punishment is “getting back” at someone, to hurt him or her back for a hurt they caused.
In The Total Transformation Program, James teaches parents how to implement “task-oriented” consequences. A task-oriented consequence is related to the offense and defines a learning objective. We’ve seen these techniques work time and time again with even the most troubled children—that’s why we are absolutely confident that the program does bring long-term, life-changing results to countless families. We understand, however, that it is up to each parent/guardian to decide what is right for their specific family situation.
Many parents struggle in this area, which is one of the many reasons why we offer the Parental Support Line service. The coaches of the Support Line are extensively trained with The Total Transformation Program and can assist parents with any aspect of the program through guidance, coaching, and support. Our sister website, www.empoweringparents.com, is also an invaluable resource for parents. The site features articles that cover a broad range of topics, from lying and backtalk to ADD and parental abuse. We’re here to help you get the most out of The Total Transformation Program, so you can find the right path for you and your family.
I feel so much better now that I know that some of the things I was doing was good. Unfortunately, I was doing several thing that could use some improved techniques.
Mainly, the way I handle myself when I have to confront my son and the words I use. Calm myself down before I start to discuss any issues.
He is a teenager not an adult. He is in training to adulthood. I am the trainer.
The way I was raised 50 years ago does not work in 2014.
These are a different breed of children.
They see the world different than we do.
I bought this for my grandchildren. They.grumble when I take out a disc, but it sparks conversation and they really get "into" the dialog we are listening to. Paige, my granddaughter had to put on a video and she did a spoof on Total Transformation. After listening to tape 7 she commented, "Girlfriend, (yep, that is my grandma name), This is not for us, it is how you are supposed to treat us. It says you are NEVER yo say, "Look me in the eye! So you must listen. She did not see that at that moment I knew that she and Nicholas had heard every word.
They both are diagnosed as Ausperger kids. Paige has the added ADHD handle. We came up with a revolutionary discovery that with Total Transformation, they can be in control of their attitude and emotions. They help me when doing the workbook by giving their input on the answers.
The difference in their behavior though, not perfect yet is truly transformed. We no longer have terrible tantrums over the battle of will. They can respond with a question about how we can handle the situation or they simply, "go somewhere and do whatever works for them. Sometimes it is burying into a video game -- sometimes it is screaming at the wall or punching a pillow.
Thank God for you and your lovely wife
James Lehman brings a very concise approach to working with difficult situations. As a long time educator in public schools, I am always looking for a better approach to reach today's youth. Too many are dropping out of high school and as a result, dropping out of life.
I kept hearing ads for the Total Transformation Program on the radio while driving to work. I finally decided to call and see what it was all about. I ordered the program and immediately could see the power that James brings to the game. His background and insight are invaluable. I have practiced many of his teachings on various students in different situations, and overall, his methods are spot on and have really helped me find success with difficult students!
Dealing with students the way I do daily has shown me that WE must change what WE are doing if we are going to be able to reach today's youth. The job is too important. We can NOT continue to teach the way we did 50 years ago. Kids just don't learn the same way anymore!
As teachers and parents, we will either change our approach, or we will lose too many of our kids.
After completing the Total Transformation program, I had to order the Consequences Program. It was just as great. I am very glad that I took the time to do the work necessary to gain the insight that James offers.
I completed all of the required surveys within the time frame and Legacy Publishing did refund my expenses for the program just as promised.
As soon as I have the time, I will order the remaining programs. I look forward to them. As you can see, I highly recommend these programs to anyone who is struggling to manage difficult behavior, whether at school, or at home.
I have wasted so much time in needless arguing with my child! The Complete Guide to Consequences has taught me how to put both myself and my child's time to better use.
Before using the Total Transformation program, I would go into lengthy discussions/arguements with my child, justifying myself & defending my position. Now, I know how to give them a clear direction & walk away. No speeches - just set the limit & walk away. It literally stops my child dead in their tracks! No more argueing, blaming or excuses.
The Complete Guide to Consequences has brought peace & quiet to our home.
Total transformation has improved our parenting skills and helped us identify clearly what needed to be changed in our home. Parenting is the most important job and oddly doesn't require a formal education or offer a handbook. Rather, the experience of friends and our parents. Now there is a comprehensive program to strengthen and sharpen our parenting skills.
We had little hope for our situation and this program gave us the courage to deal with my son. We saw within a week a glimmer if hope and what was to come if we were more effective. We now have peace in our home.
I bought the Total Transformation but found something missing for our son.
The ODD Lifeline has allowed me to have a better understanding of him & how to best interact with him. I found the ODD lifeline alittle old (in places- he is 9) for our current situation with him - police, courts etc. (although a lot of it was applicable). It helped me realize & accept who he is. I loved that the author had personal experience.
It is still a work in progress - I found the fail proof consequences empowering.
My children both had ADHD and at the current ages of 34 and 30, our lives are still difficult.I purchased and reviewed this program because I am also a teacher,but mostly because I wanted TOOLS to assist me with my adult children and others in my life - it's never too late to improve daily life! I was extremely impressed with The Total Transformation. I incorporate the entire program into my life - with everyone - improving my own behavior and theirs. Early intervention with this program could have saved me many sleepness nights and non-productive years when my children were teenagers and young adults. Total Transformation teaches the parents how to take control every step of the way.
If you apply these techniques it really does work. I know it also helped me understand my children better.
Definitely a great program & am recommending it to others with teenagers.
Dear Debi Jack,
We are thrilled to hear that you loved the program and found it both eye-opening and amazing. It’s also great to hear you have been telling some of your friends about it. We sincerely appreciate the time and effort that you put into your Total Transformation Feedback Survey and are very sorry to hear that you did not qualify for a refund. Though we do provide the opportunity to correct an incomplete survey to qualify for a refund, corrections cannot be made once the postmark date has passed per the terms printed clearly on the survey. It is certainly not our intent to find technicalities to prevent consumers from getting a refund. We do have uniform policies that are applied to all consumers, which allow us to remain consistent and fair for all situations. We are saddened to hear that your positive experience with the program has become an overall negative experience for you.
We hope that even though you did not qualify for a refund for your survey, you have found and will continue to find, successes with your family in using the tools and techniques from The Total Transformation Program.
While the ideas are sound and would have worked in the 70s and may be in the 80s, todays kids live in a totally different world with expectations that are far reaching.
I spent countless hours listening to the program many many times and completing the survey as required. But it appears there seems to be some glitch in the print or scanning that deemed my survey incomplete and I am out of pocket on the refund promised.
While I was a good experience to reinforce my core belief system , which has not worked with my kid hence I was looking for an alternative, which this did not provide, and when it comes to helping our kids I guess a few hundred buck is not a big deal if it helps. This program did not meet that goal and frankly I feel taken for a very smooth ride.
Dear Shreekant,
We certainly appreciate the time and effort that you put into your Total Transformation Feedback Survey and are very sorry to hear that you did not qualify for a refund. Our records indicate that we received your survey, however there were some incomplete sections on two different pages. Though we do provide the opportunity for consumers to correct an incomplete survey to qualify for a refund, corrections cannot be made once the postmark date has passed per the terms printed clearly on the survey.
In regards to the content in The Total Transformation Program, our goal was to create the most effective program to help families who are struggling with their children’s behaviors. We understand that each family situation is unique and we’re quite confident that the program can work for most parents and most situations, however we also know that things can be discouraging when you are not seeing the results you had hoped for with the program. If you would like help working the tools in the program with your family, please contact our Parental Support Specialists. They’re trained extensively in The Total Transformation Program, and will be able to personally coach and support you in using the program with your family. Please don’t give up. You might still find success in using the program.
I do find the program helpful. What I have completed thus far.
The only complaint I have is I was supposed to receive a survey via mail to complete to get the program free. I have not received this.
Dear jilted,
We apologize for the delay in getting the survey to you and the subsequent miss in getting the follow up explanatory email to you. Unfortunately, there was an unforeseen technical issue with our website that prevented consumers from gaining access to the online survey. In an attempt to rectify this issue, an additional e-mail was sent to explain the situation along with an attached copy of the Feedback Survey. We would like to reassure you that per your request on January 28, 2014, a Total Transformation Feedback Survey was emailed to you, along with your new postmark date, on January 29, 2014 at 8:43am Eastern Time. Please be advised that the delays are unusual and have been rectified.
We are thrilled that you have been finding the Total Transformation Program helpful for your situation. Our core mission is to provide parents with a program that can really make a positive difference with their family. In regards to your survey, your feedback is vital to us, as we continually try to improve and create programs that will give the most benefit to families.
We sincerely hope you are able to find continued successes as you get further into the Total Transformation Program and we look forward to receiving your feedback!
The Lemans certainly know what they are talking about. My problem is I have a 24 yr with many problems and issues that make our daily lives and conversations uncomfortable and stressfull. My husband and I are also the caregivers for our grandchild that belongs to our child. So as I listen to the CD\'s I find myself trying to relate to issues of a 24 yr old and a now 3 yr old.
I appreciate the opportunity to get this help in my own time and it be ON HAND when I need a calming effect or reassurrance that I\'m not the only one in this situation immediately. I keep my CD\'s with me at all times so no matter where I am I can get the support and professional suggestions without making an appointment and waiting to get in to see my therapist.
Thank you for ToTal Transformation it IS making a difference in our lives.
The Total Transformation helped us turn the behavior in our 7 year old grandchild in a new and positive direction. I feel that the lessons learned with Total Transformation can be used in all aspects of daily life and have positive benefits to change our way of looking at problems and solving them.
Thank you Total Transformation
In my case, my son is only 9. We didn't have a severe problem, but I could see it coming. I ordered this program in the hopes that we could avoid the behaviors we were tending to see. After using the program, I was thrilled. My son's grades came up, and our home is peaceful again. There is no yelling, there are no fits of anger. There is only calm. It took a while to get here, but we kept using the suggestions from the discs and there was success. I, personally, loved the One-minute disc first. It gave me immediate ideas on what to do and say.
The greatest part about this is that the Lehman Family has been through all of this. This WORKS!
I am a high school teacher and I now recommend it to all of the parents that tell me they are at their wits end. The techniques work! It wasn't that I hadn't tried some of the techniques, it was that the small change in the wording I was using with my son is now working. I would have never known to change these tiny details and am so thankful that I took the risk, ordered the program and LISTENED. I can't tell you how it has changed my outlook AND more importantly, my son's. If you are hesitant, take my word as a teacher and mother: This will help you. You must put the suggestions into practice and the workbook helps you identify exactly what will work for your child. I bought this program with the idea that I could get my money back based on reviewing the material. I don't want my money back. I am truly grateful to James Lehman. He deserves every penny of what I paid.
I started this program 2 months ago and was very skeptical. I am a mental health professional who works with children and yet I had no control over my 10yo son. I dreaded going home at night. I tried everything and brought the total transformation as my last effort before giving up.
This program is amazing. I saw small changes the first 2 weeks I used the program. My son was baffled why his \"manipulation\" was no longer working. Dr. Lehman helped me to understand my child and how he thinks and why he would act out. Through the insight I was able to ask the questions to help him calm down.
2 months into the program and my son does his chores and helps clean the house without asking. He is doing better in school and with his school work. His grades are improving and I no longer fear going home. My son is acting silly and laughing more. His anger is diminishing and I can see the changes daily.
The most exciting part is that I have taken the program slow and therefore; I am only half way through this journey. I know there is so much more I will learn and I know my son will continue to improve his coping and problem solving so that we will be a harmonious family.
I can honestly say the program is worth evrey penny.
Prior to the program, I spent money on therapy, expensive guilt gifts, time off work to think and sometimes just to cry. Time off from work for school meetings and to deal with my son\'s behaviors. Now my days off of work are for vacations, chaperoning field trips and when my children are sick and want me home with them. I no longer buy expensive guilt gifts. My son buys himself things with money he earns from his chores and helping neighbors shovel snow.
I am enjoying my son and my children and try to find ways to spend time with them because I enjoy the peace that this program is restoring to my home.
I'm halfway into the program... and have learn so many valuable tools already. I have started to implement only a few so far, and have seen improvement in my teenager's behaviour.
Thank you for helping to see that she isn't a bad kid... that she just needed me to guide and teach her on how to deal with problems she was having in a positive way instead of feeling frustrated because she didn't have the knowledge.
Knowledge really is power!
My son is now 21 years old, after having his own place for over 6 months he was forced by circumstance to move back home...(there had been behavior problems before he moved out) well they were worse when he came back. I couldn't find help anywhere in my community for what we were experiencing. I remembered seeing and hearing ads for Total Transformation and after I looked a little closer I decided to give it a go. At that point I was really desperate for a solution. Between the time I ordered the program and the time I received it things deteriorated to the point that I had to call the police on my son and due to his behavior with them he wound up being arrested. My son spent 48 hours in jail and being psychologically evaluated. During that time I received Total Transformation and immediately began watching and listening to the program. The information provided was nothing short of transformational, for me, for my son, for our family...
Buy it, use it, it will bring you Peace you didn't know was possible
The program totally transformed our family and took away the wedge that was dividing us. I have more control, patience and communication with out teenager and nine year old. I no longer dread family activities or trips. It has also taught our children how to communicate and support each other. I had my doubts about program at beginning, but am a believer now. I recommend this to all parents whom are at wits end with thier unruly children.
Thanks again, john
Dear Arwener81,
We are disappointed to hear that you have not yet been successful with our program. We strive to create the most effective programs to help families who are struggling with non-compliant and abusive children. We understand that each family situation is unique and we are quite confident that the program can work for most parents and most situations. We also know, however, that things can be discouraging when you are not seeing the results with the program as quickly as you hoped. If you would like help working the tools in the program with your family, please call our Parental Support Specialists. They’re trained extensively in The Total Transformation, and will be able to support you in using the program with your family. Please don’t give up—challenging behaviors in children really do create stress for parents. Know that you are not alone and there is a community and a program to support families like yours for as long as you need assistance.
I am a single grandmother who has legal custody of my 11 year-old grandson who was exhibiting oppositional defiant behavior on a regular basis. Life was very chaotic.
The Total Transformation Program improved my grandson's behavior from the very first disk they sent to me.
Thank you Total Transformation Program for giving me hope and peace.
My grandson is much more cooperative when I use the information I have been given by the Total Transformation Program.
Dear lazychatter@aol.com,
We’d like to commend you for reaching out, with wonderful intentions, and ordering the Total Transformation Program to help your daughter and her family. It’s unfortunate that she was unable to use the program as you had hoped she would. Many of our consumers have found themselves in similar situations—they too have great intentions by trying to help their families, only to find that the situation has changed to where they feel they can no longer use, or even begin to use, the program. Our goal is to gain feedback from our consumers regardless of their situations and hope that even if there is no longer a child in the home, the family can still gain some insight/knowledge from what the program has to offer. We hope that your family can do the same. We certainly apologize that your experience was not favorable. Though your circumstances changed unexpectedly, we encourage you and your daughter to hold on to the Total Transformation Program for future knowledge from its offerings when your home or hers is graced with the presence of a child. Alternatively, may we suggest that you donate the program to another family in need or educator that may make more immediate use of the program?
Dear Sean,
We certainly appreciate the time and effort that you put into your Total Transformation Feedback Survey and are very sorry to hear that you did not qualify for a refund. We hold all consumers to the same standards and uphold our policies so that we can remain consistent and fair with all of our consumers. This said, each consumer's postmark date differs due to the fact that the start of the timeframe to postmark a survey is based on when the consumer's package is delivered. Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing any delivery date until the package is actually delivered. We state these terms very clearly on pages 3 & 4 of the Feedback Survey.
In regards to your experience with our Customer Service Department, we sincerely apologize that you had a negative experience. Our Customer Service Department thrives on the fact that we treat each consumer with the utmost respect and courtesy when speaking and/or dealing with consumer issues and/or concerns. We hope that even though you did not qualify for a refund for your survey, you have found and will continue to find successes with your family in using the tools and techniques from The Total Transformation Program.
The transformation is unreal. I can't believe the change in my granddaughter.
It's like a 180 degree turn around,It has changed her for the better. I'm happy that I had the chance to try the disc. I'm satisfied.
This product was very helpful in encouraging
me to be a better. I felt like I was a good parent but needed some more options of dealing with Pre-Teen behaviors. This product gave me some excellent ideas and options for handling behaviors not just "the same ole way"! Thanks TTF!
Dear tool_man_28,
Thank you for sharing your disappointment with the Total Transformation Program. We do appreciate candid feedback- both good and bad. We do find that many of our consumers are successful in using a good portion of the program even with very young children because they want to be proactive, however, we understand the situation in every household is different and each child is unique. This being said, using many of the tools and techniques from the program can provide results with younger children, such as a three year old. As your child grows, you’ll begin to see the added benefit of some of the more advanced features of the program. Typically, by the time the average child reaches the age of five, he or she should have the ability to follow all the concepts that the Total Transformation Program provides. We do understand that each child is different and only you can know for sure what is right for your child. If you have other children in the home, we would encourage referencing and/or implementing the program tools for those situations as needed. If you feel that you can’t use the Total Transformation Program currently, we encourage you not to give up. There is a wealth of knowledge that can be gained in the meantime that you’ll be able to apply when you do feel your child is able to understand and respond to all of the concepts.
In regards to the Feedback Survey Promotion, we apologize that you felt you could not complete the survey for a refund. The intent of the Feedback Survey Promotion is to gain a better understanding of what is, and what is not, beneficial for parents by asking for honest feedback even if you may not be able to apply all of the tools in the program. We truly hope that you will find the successes from all of the tools offered in the Total Transformation Program and apply each tool effectively as your child grows and matures.
I am very pleased with how I have learned from this program. I can now see which is more important to work on, and there is less fighting. I know how to explain and not order.
Children now know what is expected and how to use words for problems, not that they always use them but they usually know when they have been wrong and will apologize or try to fix.
Dear Singlemomofone,
We are thrilled that you found The Total Transformation Program informative and easy to listen to as your first experience with our programs. Our core mission is to provide parents with a program that can really make a positive difference with their family, while also making it cost effective. While it is concerning that your impression of our website is that it is unclear and deceptive, we do appreciate your candor. It will enable us to continually strive to present the terms and cost of our programs as clearly as possible for everyone to avoid any misunderstandings when placing an order. As far as the cost of the program, we recognize that some consumers may have difficult financial situations. Indeed, situations like this inspired us to offer promotions similar to the promotion that you signed up for, the Total Transformation Feedback Survey Promotion. The Feedback Survey Promotion allows parents and/or guardians to not only gain the tools and techniques that the Total Transformation Program provides, but also allows them to keep the program as long as they follow the terms of the offer. To be able to provide consumers with the opportunity to receive a full refund for the program cost in exchange for their time, effort and feedback is a priceless opportunity. Your feedback is vital to us, as we continually try to improve and create programs that will give the most benefit to families. The price of the program is not intended to overwhelm any of our consumers, but rather to provide incentive to give us honest results as they are applying the techniques of the program. We sincerely hope you are able to find the successes that you had expected when ordering the Total Transformation Program and we look forward to receiving your feedback so that any financial burden you feel is lifted. After all, we are in the business of connecting families to behavioral solutions that are accessible, affordable, and effective.
We started listening to the first disc in the series, and our 13 year old daughter humphed about it (in the back seat of the car). We had decided that she needed to be involved in what we were learning just in case she would have input. She demanded that we stop the disc and declared adamantly that it wouldn't work because she wouldn't LET it work for fear that we would thing we were great parents. We thanked her for her input and continued listening, occasionally making comments and leaving the door open for her as well. She didn't say more that day, but the next day she said, "he really made a lot of sense ... maybe we should keep trying."
We are not "done" yet, but we are well on the way to a transformation for our family! Using the TTP, we have been able to refer back to Dr. Lehman's words as we encounter explosive moments. The explosions have reduced both in frequency and intensity, and we look forward to a continued change as we keep putting the concepts into practice.
I got the program because mu son is ADHD and ODD. He take medicine for ADHD but the .ODD is not improving. He gets in trouble in school no because he is not intelligent he is brilliant as one of his teachers had toll me, but because he refuses to do the work.
Our relationship at home is very stressful and tense. We have a power struggle since he is three years old. A counselor recommended the Total transformation program and while purchasing that I found the ODD life line. I'm still going through the program but as it is it had help me recognize what actions I need to take to direct my son in a different way. Also help me understand that all I can do is to teach him but it is up to him to learn. I see where I have been wrong approaching him and my response to his behavior only has escalated the difficulties. This program is helping me see new avenues of communication and the hope and he will have a better future with a more positive attitude.
The complete guide to consequences showed me exactly what I needed to do in order to be a more effective parent. I have always struggled with discipline and my kids. My oldest child seemed impossible to get "under control". After viewing and reviewing the guide, I have finally found answers to all the problems I had with getting my kids to behave...I would recommend this product to any parent struggling with out of control behavior from their child. It works on teenagers and middle school ages equally well! Thank you for the great resource!!!!
This program gave us the tools to help our son to express his feelings. Once we started watch the videos everything made sence. We saw a difference right away.
Thanks
My grandson has problems with anger and he is very defiant. This is very upsetting to everyone in the family. His father gets very angry with him and does not have patience,which causes terrible confortations. I feel this program will help with these issues. My franson is ding better and his father is trying to be calmer when the out of control fits occur.
With time time I feel our lives will be so much better. Dad, Mom and myself our really trying.
It was the most outstanding sessions I have ever heard
Jim is reality based. I used the tapes to help in my own life and my moms family. My work and my friends
This course us not just for kids. It will help you understand adults that have been raised loosely
I can't say enough about it. It will help you every day with life events. It even works with large kids over 18
Jims done an outstanding reality based problem and given the world hope. Once you understand the problem you can tackle it. It was the best investment ever made.I listen to the cd's over and over. Ease of use with driving. I want to thank Jim for his gift to the world---a touch of reality
I have not used Customer Service/Parental Support so I can not rate them.
The package is well organized and easy to start and listen to. But I personally am having no success in effecting any changes. I have made some changes to myself, but that does not solve the problem. For some, we really need an in-person/office assistance. Or maybe it just can\'t be done by a novice.
Dear “Still Lost”:
First of all, thank you for your candid and honest feedback. We are here to help every family benefit from our programs—even novices and still struggling parents. Your best recourse to make immediate and real change is to work directly with our Parental Support Specialists at 1-800-782-1182. (This number also should have been included in your Total Transformation package.) They’re trained extensively in The Total Transformation, and will be able to personally coach and support you in using the program with your family. They can walk you through step-by-step in implementing each of the program tools effectively in your home and can explain how to use the tools to you if you have any questions.
I also want to say that I identify with your disappointment in struggling with family behaviors. Please don't give up—you are not alone. After a decade in business, I’m confident that this approach works for most parents and most situations. Truly persistence and motivation to change are the keys to sustained success. Please keep us informed of your situation and experience; we can work with you to improve your experience.
Dear mommaof3,
We are disappointed to hear that you have not had success with our program. We’re confident that it can work for most parents and most situations. If you would like help working the tools in the program with your family, please call our Parental Support Specialists. They’re trained extensively in The Total Transformation, and will be able to support you in using the program with your family. Please don’t give up. You might still get the help you need.
Alexander Pope once said that hope springs eternal in the human breast, but Proverbs 13.12 says that hope deferred makes a heart sick. I was heart-sick for so many years but then God allowed this amazing company to come into my life and be a part of the renewal of hope, in many ways, not the least a relationship with my youngest child.
Thanks to the principles I learned in their training I am reaching out in more healthy ways and being consistently loving but firm about what I know is right.
I have no words to say just how thankful I am for this program. May God continue to bless all those involved in changing lives and futures.
Because my BP daughter, 27 years old, is a different case for this program as I could not use very many consequences for her abusive actions.
What I did learn was that I DO NOT have to put up with her abusive behavior and I am a good person. Whew when I have been so verbally abused by her, I was getting scared. Then when she drove her car with me in it very very fast because I hadn't agreed with "something".
I also read a book, "stop walking on eggshells by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger which I must tell you has been my BP Bible for the last two months. It coincided with your program and gave me strength to overcome my fears and doubts of being a good parent or not. I AM. Than you for helping me, no, us.
I found that the discs did not fit in snuggly and securely, so they frequently had to be fished out of the bottom of folder where they all fell.
We totally enjoyed and learned from the program, most of the time it was a reinforcement of what we already knew, but was a great source of support and encouragement.
IT WORKS!
the total transformation discs were just what I needed to get on track with my daughter. My husband passed away a few years back when my daughter was 10 years old. He was the disciplinary force in our home for the three older children. Life got real tough for myself and my girl who was 14 when I got the program. It helped me understand the manipulative ways of kids. It also helped me to understand how my parenting was ineffective and how to be more effective. Now, my daughter knows I mean what I say now. She wants a harmonious home as do I.She now understands the pecking order in the household and that she is NOT my peer. I do believe she is on her way to being a very fine young lady. I am proud of her accomplishments. She is working hard at school and looking forward to a bright future. I am enjoying her company. Thanks so much for the fine insight and how to deal with the issues we were having
The Total Transformation really does work, but it takes time and effort.
It's not something that happens over night, it's a lot of trial and error, especially on the parents part, but so worth it in the end. I found I needed to do a total transformation first before my child could. I had to learn the skills necessary to talk to him in a way that he would be accountable for his actions. Our whole family benefited from the program, we communicate better and our home is quiet and feels safe. I use the Alternative Response quite often, and that alone seems to make the biggest difference! Don't give up on the program, listen to each disc one at a time, do the workbook, and in the end you will be amazed at the results!!
My husband passed away a few months ago and he was the leader of our family and the main disciplinarian. I have a 15 year old son and a 12 year old daughter. I ordered Total Transformation because I knew I needed guidance, I needed to know what action to take and when and I needed support to stay consistent.
It has worked, we are still working at it and I listen to the CD's over and over again because I want to get this right. My kids are surprised at how simple some of the consequences are but you can tell things are getting better. I am getting more confident in my ability to do this alone.
The kids are changing some, they are normal kids that are going to test those boundaries and when they do, I revert back to my teaching from these CD's and respond accordingly.
Explaining to my kids this is probably what you feel when you are angry, well guess what, this is what you can do to manage those trigger points. I have answers for them that work thanks to this program.
And this program has shifted my focus, they are not going to be happy when they receive a consequence and that is normal. Focus on the behavior not the attitude.
I love this program and I feel like it is going to guide me for the remaining years until they move onto college.
The Complete Guide for Consequences really shows that you are not alone in your struggles. It gives examples of detailed problems, and then shows you how to solve these troublesome issues while keeping your cool. Your child may still complain, but he/she will now also take immediate action on your directions.
This has helped us with our Autistic son, and even he now compliments the program. Don't hesitate; buy now and you will improve your family life dramatically.
Very helpful CD series! These have helped me change my 'hamster on the wheel' past behavior and therefore, my family is in a much more peaceful place. Listen and DO it. I have even some of the information to work with a difficult friend situation. You will not be disappointed!
The only reason I give the program 4 vs 5 stars is that there is always room for improvement in any program.
This is a program for parents who are tired of soft-soap conversations with children, which don't ACTUALLY result in change. Instead, a DVD with simple instructions and an easy-to-follow system of making the child do the work instead of the parent. James talks you through each step and you come out feeling that this is something you really CAN try.
I've been in education for 20 years and I recognize a good system when I see one. I've used it with my kids and I love the results. (Shh! I even use it in school too, but don't tell anyone - it's my secret weapon!)
Total transformation saved my sanity. My usually sweet and caring 19 year old child became disrespectful and out of control almost over night. I suspected drugs and alcohol were part of the problem. I found myself on the floor sobbing with grief. As a single mother, I felt alone and terrified and prayed constantly, yet the behavior continued. At my wits end, I heard about the free offer from TT and called. Immediately I felt bathed in support and concern. Once my package arrived, I immersed myself in the CD's and put the principles to the test. The first thing I noticed was a peace that took over me and as I applied the principles, confidence blossomed. Somehow I had given my control away and now I was getting it back. My daughter began to change as well. I had to do the changing and once I did, I got my precious daughter back. Are things perfect? No, but now I know how to handle things. I believe that TT was the answer to my prayers.
The qualities and words that come to mind when I think about the Total Transformation Program, and my experience with it, are: it's-about-time-somebody-said-it, no-bull, parent's advocate, parental lifeboat, resurrection and salvation for families, personal ownership, personal accountability, old-school common sense, teaching and modeling self-control and self-respect, teaching and modeling analytical thought over emotional impulse, teaching and modeling response versus reaction, practical, relevant and effective, immediately applicable, adaptable, respectful approaches, mother's little helper (or maybe not so little), effective coaching for effective parenting, parental empowerment.
Every program out there has naysayers, without exception. I encourage parents and professionals to actually DO the lessons and techniques and apply them for a long haul before passing judgment on TTP. And to keep in mind that the changes that will take place will not necessarily be colossal or immediate. A slow drip still fills the cup with strong coffee.
The changes I see in my child are stupendous. He now replies, "Yes, mommy." He is much more helpful and does his chores with little to no arguing. He has completely made an aboutface and I owe it all to The Total Transformation. If you are a parent who finds yourself hopeless with your son or daughter geting the best of you, try The Total Transformation. It really works. :)
I bought the disks and listened to them in the car. They were so good I listened twice (The only they I didn\'t like is they kept slipping out of the folder.)
I also signed up for the weekly emails and they are always worth reading.
Called the help line once and there was a real person who helped me to calm down and think through a plan.
I have started modifying my approach with my 3 kids and got immediate positive responses. It helped even with my son who has attachment disorder, which is saying alot.
The Total Transformation Program is one of the best programs I have ever used. Listening to the CD and working with the workbook is very helpful when dealing with a problem child. I used the program as instructed and it help me as well as my child. Parents need to listen to the program as a family. Sometimes very hard for the child to sit and listen to what is being said, but after thinking and relating the issues as they were happening in our house, my child would understand why she could not talk to us the way she did. It really is a great program and well worth the money.
Hi my review of The Total Transformation Program is a pleasure to write. 6 months ago I was at my lowest with our 14 yr old ADD daughter. My husband also has ADHD.
I learned so much from this program that it is true that issues which were happening in our home are no longer. I am a problem solver in life and the program is what they say / true to its claim easy to follow and extremely valuable if you follow it and stay with it. I have told many friends of kids with ADD especial. I have to say the main question in our case was answered when James Lehman talked about why these types of kids act out is because they do not have any coping skills. That statement almost immediately opened my eyes as to what was really going on with her. I like knowing what I am dealing with - then I can help my daughter - James did that for me.
The only issue that I have with the program is the CD's. Some of them the audio goes in and out at times but only for a second or two. I really did not bother me much.
But the program actually works. And the great part is that I can listen to it again and again and work through workbook as needed for a refresher.
I was paying $100 a session for my child to attend therapy and it was not working. Since the program I have been able to handle her more effectively and get the necessary results and the best part I was able to cancel her sessions within the first 2 weeks of using this program.
Thanks James
My son who has always struggled with behavior, and writing in school say with me through all of the tapes. He was disgruntled about it to begin, but at times lifted his head and made statements with grudging surprise on his face like "I do that."
He and I both began to see that he was using many behaviors to avoid dealing with his true struggles, a writing disability and these behaviors were only worsening his situation not making it better.
Listening to the program helped him realize there truly is "No excuse for abuse"
Over time we agreed to try the techniques the most important of which separating our strong emotions from our arguments really helped. I am also a pediatrician after seeing the positive effect of the program on my son, I have begun to recommend it to my patients.
The Total Transformation Program is truly a remarkable program. It is in the process of "transforming" negative behaviors of our soon to be, 8 yr. old granddaughter.
We , regretfully, did not use the Parental Support Line, resource. I truly believe we should have...and possibly did not do so because of "embarrassment"...I encourage all to reach out and take advantage of this resource!
This program is not for those who are looking for a "do this" and get a "quick fix"...it is not for those who are seeking a "punishment" mode toward correction. HOWEVER, it is for anyone who is willing to "work the Program"...by this I mean...take the time, listen to what is recommended, and try the recommendations. It challenges anyone in a "parenting" role, to try different approaches. It helps us to change our thinking...our own "stuck in the mud" , approaches...and if one truly tries and "works the program"...it works!
I also believe it will be an on going program...to continue to use throughout the childhood of our granddaughter....Bravo, and Thank you for this: Total Transformation!
As i have read and watched the total transformation it is so helpful in every day life and every age child from 1 to 20 .Everything that James Lehman teaches is awesome .
At first i just wonted james to come stay at my house i was raiseing a 17 year old and a 3 year old you talk about tough. but then after studying and being able to go back to the teaching has help me drasticly .I will say that this is for every parent that has a problem with there children.I OWE IT TO MR.LEHMAN FOR MY TEACHIGS . THANK YOU VERY MUCH.....
I initially ordered this program just because of my youngest child. I had no idea it would end up working so well for my 17 and 22 yr old children. I implemented the suggestions and changed my approach in speaking w/ my children and saw instant results w/ some common issues that always ended in a verbal tirade. I stood open mouthed and shocked that I received the desired results without a fight. Not to say it has been easy, I myself needed to retrain myself in how I approach and speak w/ my kids. I also pick my battles much better.
My youngest child whom I origionally ordered for, I was able to realize that there were bigger issues here, and that really prompt me to seek additional proffesionsal help. I also still use most of the techniques I've learned on my youngest in conjunction w/ the proffesionsal help she needed.
This program really works. I was skeptical, but the yelling and arguing has stopped in our house. Our child has become much more responsible and respectful.
Just try it.
My only regret with this program is that I didn\\\'t start it years ago with my sons. Total transformation is useful at any age of your children. As parents
we discovered many helpful tools in effective listening and communicating with our college age children. Yes, it has helped our sons to have a more positive out look at life. They respect us more and we respect them too!
To Whom It May Concern: This program has solved mysteries and caused dialog that might not have ever been known or accomplished.
I feel that I know my children on a different level than before this program.
There is hope to those who have lost it. There are others way to communicate and to be relieved of the burden that you as a parent are carrying. You and your children can have a better relationship. It is possible. It\'s okay to realize that you as a parent made mistakes in the past, we\'re not perfect, but this program helps us to find our way clear of some parental bondages that we seem to put on ourselves. Take control of what seemly you have lost control of (ourselves). There are some strong messages in this program that will ring true and resound confirmations that will give you a sense of peace that you are finally going down the right path. It\'s never too late...
This program approaches problem behavior in an objective, business-like fashion. They suggest that parents don\'t get overly emotional, but deal with behavior exhibited and planned rather than feelings and motivations.
I see this program as a helpful first-aid approach to an existing problem, and a helpful long-term approach in general.
I do not see it as a complete child-rearing program, however. It applies to the scope that they intend: altering behavior in desirable in acceptable ways, and teaching children how to cope with issues.
In other reviews many have said the content contained in The Total Transformation is common sense. While the contents are practical and logical they are anything but common.Total Transformation is just as much about the kids behavior as it is the parents response to their behavior.Having worked with youth for several years now I have seen a vast amount of ineffective parenting. The skills taught in these lessons are just what parents and youth workers need. Even if you think this stuff is common sense it is still a great reminder and will help you freshen up your skills.
Take advantage of the survey offer while its still available. The survey isn\\\'t a hassle but another tool to help you really cement what was taught in the lessons. Customer service was a breeze. After returning my completed survey I promptly received a refund in just a couple weeks. Anyone who is a parent or youth worker could benefit from these lessons. The Total Transformation program is about helping youth take responsibility and being held accountable for their actions, something seldom seen in today\\\'s culture.
This program works. I read about it for a couple of years then finally when I was at the bottom, I tried it.
If you are like me, you don\'t like to share your family problems with others. You don\'t want others to know what goes on in your home, or you don\'t want them making judgements about your child. Because you know your child is great, but they have some issues, and that is painful! So, the TOTAL TRANSFORMATION as the answer for us! In the privacy of our home we got the help we needed. James helped us to evaluate our selves and see where WE needed to change in order to get our child to change. You will swear he lives silently in the corner of your home when you hear him talk about the fights we have with our children, He knows! And he will guide you step by step in how to deal with the problems effectively.
The parent hot line is a wonderful tool and helped us so much! They know exactly what you are going through and they help you calm down, and get focused again so you can deal with the problem at hand. I honestly can\'t say enough good about this program!
Finally, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We have seen improvements in our sons behavior within the first weeks of use this program. Our son is now taking more responsibility for his actions instead of blaming everyone else. It is a work in progress, and we know there are no miracle cures, but this is as close as we can get for now.
The fighting has almost completely stopped. We are liking each other more and more each day. We will always love our son, but sometimes it is hard to like him when he stubbornly make the wrong choice. Those days are get to be fewer and fewer. Wd are glad we found this powerful program.
I was growing increasingly frustrated with the results I was getting when I disciplined my children. I have read many child behavior books and enrolled in various programs in an attempt to find one system that made sense and more importantly, that was effective. I think my confusion over what to do when was making the problem even worse.
When I started using the techniques in the Total Transformation, I felt empowered. The One Minute Transformation was brilliant in its simplicity and effectiveness.
Overall, I liked how the program explains the origins of your child\\\'s behavior issues but does not make you feel like a bad parent. In fact, it has a no-nonsense approach to behavior change, which was quite different from all of the other parenting books I have read. It gave me practical tools that were immediately effective.
There were so many ah-ha! moments that literally changed my viewpoint on parenting, and gave me perspective on my role as a parent. One idea that really struck me was the notion that feeling better about yourself does not bring about better behavior but, better behavior can make you feel better. This was totally opposite from what I had been reading. I was trying to boost my child\\\'s self esteem thinking that was the core issue to his problems. Now I know that it\\\'s about holding your child to a higher standard of behavior and not accepting less that creates a higher self esteem because it shows the child you believe they can do better. The whole lesson on creating a Culture of Accountability is something that should be taught to every parent.
I highly recommend this program!
I am the mother of 4 ranging from 8 months to 7ears. My surprise has been with how much of the program I can use with the 3 older ones. Getting them to listen to me was a big problem. I am seeing a sinificant difference when I get down on my knees and speak to them. I hope to implement some of the valauble information as they grow older. Each time I spoke with the Support Line I learned something that I didn\'t know.
I have been telling my friends about the program.
A Happy Mom
I am a single parent of two children for the past six years. My son is 12 and my daughter is 8. I looked at the Total Transformation on line for a very long time, each time opting not to pursue it as \\\"just another gimmick\\\". My son was becoming progressively worse with his behavior, defiance, and attitude. The constant calls from the school, camp, sports and every other area he was involved in. Our house had become a place filled with tension, fighting and unhappiness. The turning point was when I had to bring my son to the police station for destroying another kids phone. The officer worked with me but I had become desperate.
I decided to take a chance on the Total Transformation product. The initial video and the follow up cd\\\'s not only offered some possitive advice, they were comforting to me as a parent that there was hope and I was not alone. We are half way through the program and the results are already showing. I am dealing with my son with James\\\' guidance in a way that is so positive. He has responded so well. I am using the techniques for my daughter as well. She had no apparent issues but she has been reacting well and more relaxed with her brother and I being able to deal with things without \\\"blow-ups\\\". I know this is just the begining to my whole family on a better, safer journey.
THANK YOU JAMES!!
This program came at a time when we were in real crisis. We were given so many tools and a great knowledge about what was going on in our kids minds, the best way for us to deal with it, and the ways WE should act differently.
It\\\\\\\'s amazing because they cover all the things going on in our home. Thank you \\\\\\\"Total Transformation\\\\\\\". While we still have a lot of work to do, we now have the tools.
My profession directly uses behavior therapy. That being said, I still did not have the tools needed to efficiently deal with teen behavior issues. We have 4 children. Peace is a necessity . Our home is so much more peaceful! our children are far more compliant. Two of the kiddos have diagnosed behavior problems. This program works with all of them. Make peace in your home a priority, take the time to follow through with it and you will be happy you did. Dedicate yourself to learning new skills and it will pay off big. The whole family benefits !
I have a bachelor\\\'s in Child development and did graduate work in Marriage and Family Counseling. I thought the program was well thought out, presented well, and I learned several things. Best of all, my husband who has not had this training learned a lot and I think we are much more on the same page now for child raising. He could see from a third party that there were better ways to address some of the issues we had.
I especially liked the positive attitude of this approach. I liked that you can tell Dr. Lehman LIKES kids, BELIEVES in them, and BELIEVES in us parents - that we can all change and improve. Isn\\\'t that the greatest position - that we can be better and learn how! And I particularly liked the attitude of \\\"coaching.\\\" He doesn\\\'t ever put parents or children in a negative light. We just all need better coaching and a support system that we can really do this. I thought the parent support staff did well with this. Even a long time parent like me (oldest is 35 and youngest is 11) learned and improved!
We're from the era of getting grounded for a week (or a spanking) was the answer to everything -- and for us as kids, it worked. But not for our kids. Our two difficult teens, for whom consequences meant very little, have incredible endurance.
The Complete Guide to Consequences helped me understand the difference between punishment and consequences (seems obvious, but...); and to have the confidence, the words, and the ideas to use when our darlings weren't behaving so 'darling'.
The ideas presented for the teen are working for me. It hasn't changed long-term behavior yet in the 15 yr old, but it's the short-term help which gives me the breathing room I need to stay centered. Our 6 yr old is very well-behaved, so I haven't had to use a lot of consequences, but I can see that there has been a positive effect in those few times I've had to give him some, and even more of an affect watching what his big sister is going through! (As for the eldest, she's in college and lives away from home).
I highly recommend the Consequences video for all parents. It should be watched early on in their parenting career.
We received legal custody of our grandaughter after several families and organizations attempted to care for her. Her father had taken her and separated from her alcoholic mother.
After several years the father died of cancer leaving the then 8 year old daughter to the hands of anyone who might care enough to help.
After others gave up, we were asked to take in the then 10 year old girl.
As concerned grandparents we were happy to do this. Initially things went reasonably well. When age 13 came we all of a sudden had a girl who wanted to be totally independent and totally disregarded our instruction and suggestions. We knew she was headed for a life of disaster and also realized that we were at our end in terms of knowing how to handle the situation.
We had raised 4 of our own children. We weren't dumbies on child rearing but had lost some of the stamina of younger years. We needed to be reminded of some of the techniques we hadn't used for many years.
After getting into Total Transformation I looked for one area that I felt was important and began to implement it. I told our granddaughter that she was responsible for keeping her bedroom reasonably clean. Initially I helped her to clean it to what she and I agreed to be reasonably clean. We agreed that I could check any time and that if the room was not reasonably clean she was not allowed to go to any of her friends or have her friends down until she had looked after her new resonsibility. She was told up front that this responsibility was not negotiable because a certain degree of order was essential for living a less frustrated life.
She came to know very quickly that when she desired to go out to her friends, her room would be checked out first. On one occassion she came with me to check out the room. Since the room needed some work I became totally quiet - I didn't say a word. The silence was awkward. She broke the silence and pointed out a few items that should be changed to make it acceptable. My response was, after you have done that you may go to your friends. There was no arguing, no raising voices, but submission.
There continues to be a noteable positive change in her life as we continue to give her more freedom as she responds to life situations in an amicable way.
In her most recent school report she scored the highest possible score from all of her instructors for "respect". We make a point of giving her genuine praise when she does things in a respectful and thoughtful way. She is much happier leaving us with much less stress.
We know the road is not finished, but we know we have increased skill in giving needed guidance. We know there are times we must lay out unnegotiable parameters. We know a disrespectful attitude does not have to be tolerated. We can state our case
and walk away without a loud encouter.
I am the step-parent of a teenager with ODD and conduct disorder. I can't even begin to tell you how much this course has helped me and my stepson's mother.
We felt powerless in the face of his rage, temper and explosions. Learning about not trying to change his thinking but instead to focus on what we can do has helped us tremendously.
The temper outbursts have diminished significantly. We have let go of the desire to change his behavior and tried to focus on those things we can do, and fail-safe consequences.
There are still many issues, but we do feel empowered in a way we did not comprehend. One other thing, the more we listen to the course, the more we learn as we have a different perspective each time.
Thank you.
We've been using the Total Transformation Program for about 8 mos. our kids have rounded the corner and so have we. Our life is much better and it's awesome watching our kids grow in ways we never thought they would. This program is a must and it has helped our kids academically as well.
My husband and I hit a wall with my then 14 yr old son over a year ago. He has always demonstrated defiant and "hard" behavior traits. He's been in individual and family counseling with little success. His behavior was hijacking the family and our marriage. My husband came into my boys life over 5 yrs ago. He brought structure, love, and support to our frantic lives but my sons behavior baffled him.
I work for a school system iin special education, often bringing stories home of children with similar behavior. What the Total Transformation program helped me realize that even if my son has Asperger-like and Oppositional Diisorder-like traits, he still needed to be accountable for his behavior and poor grades. We love the reference James makes on one of his CDs of getting pulled over for speeding. A police officer only cares that you broke the law and needed to pay. This helped us focus explain to my son that there are house, school, etc laws that he has to follow- no negotiations allowed. The program provides tangible and straight forward advice while reminding parents that change takes time. We are paying for the hotline as the counselors are patient and practical. We listen to the CDs as needed to keep us focused. Although my son still has a long way to go, we are shaping his behavior with structure and consistency. Helping him learn to problem solve when he is anxious, should help him cope in school and life. We highly recommend this program!
If you are looking for an easy 'fix' to your problem this isn't it (but frankly if you have a problem there probably isn't an easy fix).
For me this program was a lifesaver. I'd tried many 'programs' over the years but this really broke things down so I could implement change step by step rather than trying to do it all at once. Answering the workbook and survey questions held me accountible to not only listen to the information but also to put it into action. If you are serious about change this is the program for you!
I am a woman, and the main dicipline figure in our home as the one who notices the offense. Dad is usually not paying attention to the overstepping of boundaries.
We watched this CD program together and hearing this from another MAN has made all the difference in the world to my husband.
Now I am not the BAD guy-we are united and consistent in our approach to structured discipline, and it gives the child a feeling of security to know that both parents SHARE the same definitions of wrong behavior.
I believe my spouse identified with the boy in the past-having been overly disciplined in his childhood-not wanting to see that happen to his child.
But being told how important it is to be united/consistent in our response to unacceptable behavior, and how it will affect the child's ability to integrate socially in society successfully, gave the need to disciple the respect it deserved.
Now our child is an A-B high school student, doing community service in our church, wanting to help others.
I have been "Very Pleased" with the Whole Program.
As I stated , I ordered it to help with my 2 grand-daughters,and my sunday School class,Juniors. (7,8,& 9) to better understand , the out-bursts,and attitudes that can sometime occur in class. I am learning how to take control of the situations,with my grand chrildren ages 8 and 12 as well as the class.I have learned to walk away,we don't argue back,and I have seen improvement.we talk a lot about taking Responsibility.So The program really works, when you work with it. I am very glad that I ordered the program, the 8 year old is doing better in school already..
I have a young child with oppositonal defying behavior. Much of the behaviors are the result of poor communication skills.
Total transformations technique enables me to zoom in on what the sources of negative behavior as well unwanted communication.
Importantly,the program shine the spot light on me. I came to realize I too needed to be transformed
The program empowered me. For many of years I blamed myself. Total Transformation gave me clear answers.
Dear Parents,
The Total Transformation Program list out scenarios that happens in your home that until now you could not articulate it, do to ridicule, embarrassment, and sheer feeling that no one would understand or relate. As a friend, PTA member or Athlete mom, you never hear about the bad behaviors and struggles every parent struggle with you only hear about the A's and the accolades earned by their children. Therefore, there was never a safe place to voice your concerns and seek strategies to create change and peace in your home. I tell you my only regret with the Transformation Program is that I wish I would have called sooner. But I that regret was soon replaced with verbiage, plan, and strategy that help me help my children in their distress and bring peace and laughter back to our home. Let Dr. Lehman be your personal success coach and when you learn please share with other parents. We have to remember those children that struggle at home shares a classroom with our children.
At first my husband and I weren't certain if this program suited our family, after a review of the targeted behaviors check-list, we realized it did. We now have some really good tools to help us become the effective parents we were trying to be. It blew my mind, when watching the parent workshop DVD, for my son to say "He's got one thing right, it's power and I'm not going to give it up" Our family has done some changing and we're working together to put The Total Transformation Program to work for MORE changes. Thank you for the opportunity to grow TOGETHER as a family!
This product really made a difference. It is quieter around here, and authority has been established, even to the animals! Learning with this program is easy to do and implement. Honestly, this is an amazingly simple and straightforward program!
The Total Transformation has help me to understand myself and family. At times I did not know how to handle certain situations with my children (teenagers), myself and/or spouse. When I heard the radio advertisement, I felt this was something I should look into. While listening to the program CD by CD has given me a better understanding to controlling my emotions and understanding how to handle different situations which have come up. The CD's have helped me to not read into my thoughts, disconnect, understand how important for your children to understand responsibilities, consequences, accountability and more. The Total Transformation has tought me stratergies to be an (empowered) parent and to never give up.
I continue to listen to different lessons, especially the parents workshop to keep me on track when situations become overwhelming. Thank you:)
Kim has done an excellent job communicating with honesty her experiences and helping others to set boundaries in their lives.
Her realistic approach to face the possible realities in real life situations has helped to bring peace and even joy in the midst of a storm. She keeps it real and helps you to see that it is possible to overcome worry in the unwise choices that our loved ones make. With Christ and the help of these CD's I'm believing in a miracle in my family. Thank you Kim!
I have thoroughly appreciated this program. It has given me insight on a lot of things that I was not aware of in training children. This program feels in the gaps of things we normally stress over but have no control over. I have seen a great difference simply by the way I'm learning to handle things with my children. It seems like we are speaking the same language now. Rooms are getting cleaned with no fussing, computer time is limited with no argument, it's like they are accepting challenges better without argument. I could see a difference within the first three weeks in our communication, even though some other areas took a little longer, I can now cope and see a break through. Thank you so much for your help.
So funny to be asked to write a review on this today as I was just at the optometrist's office with my daughter and our doctor brought up how crazy it is with two little boys at home. I brought up the program and she had already heard of it. Her ears perked up and she had some serious interest in hearing more. so I told her the truth: I would pay double for the program, it is that good.
We have a soon to be 18 year old living at home. He has one more year of high school. He was Dx'd with ODD and ADHD since kindergarten, plus a learning disorder. I almost thought we'd be getting this program too late, but we've turned around our situation within a few weeks! Some things turned around within a single DAY. We recommend that you stick with the program and get as much support as possible. Give it time, because it can take awhile for all the lessons to sink in.
We have found the program to be useful just in general, meaning the lessons are applicable to the other adults in our lives, too. This program is cognitive behavioral therapy and WILL work if you do what they tell you to do say. Talk therapy never did us any good around our house. This program is different and it works.
Not only for "problem" children, we recommend the program as a preventative measure. It offers solid parenting skills from which everyone can benefit. I bet it would take "average" (non-problem) kids to become downright exceptional citizens.
I have been working on my sons behavior for YEARS. Always trying somethign different but never seeing much improvement. The phone calls from the school last year almost put me over the edge. It got so bad that I just kept him home for several weeks and did his lessons with him so I wouldn't get anymore for a while.
When I heard about this program I was so hopeful. I received the CD on consequences and watched it over and over and over. It seems like so much at first but with the support of the parent support line I have been implementing these techniques as I am able. I am so grateful that coaching is available. Role play is the number one way to changing behaviors and seeing the scenerios take place were very helpful.
We aren't there yet but we are beginning to turn a corner and I am seeing a glimmer of who my son really is... I've always knows he had a good heart I just didn't know how to help him and I felt guilty. With these tools we are actually doing it!
I am so glad that i spend 3 months searching about this program and got it in the end. My family is turning for good just to have the right tools to deal with the dayly frustration. this video lesson just help me understand the dinamic of deal with my teens.
Thank you
I would highly recommend this program. The cost is well worth and comparable to anything you will learn in most therapy. This is from a single parent who has spent the last three years after my divorce trying to stabilize my then 11 year old - now 15 year old. I have had years of advice from hospitals, residential centers, intensive in home & outpatient treatment. It can be a long road but the information contained this program is practical and is in-line with many successful techniques that I have learned on this journey. Best of luck on your journey.
Dear Mr. Lehman
Your Guide to Consequences is the best program I\'ve come across in my 28 years of parenting. My 2nd son is adhd with other issues and we found your program when he was 17. It turned things around for our family. The power struggles and yelling stopped. We wish we would of found your program sooner! We will continue to us it for our other children and grandchildren that live with us. The best tool for us is becoming coaches.Children with ADHD really need on going coaching.
We have change from reactive parenting to proactive parenting.Thank you!
I found that the concern for my grandson sometimes translated into a "too loving" nature. It just doesn't pay to let a child learn to manipulate boundaries. As he/she comes to adulthood he will need to have developed the tools of self control that will enable him to have a meaningful place in society. While using this program I also was reading Temple Granden's books. I found she credits her success despite rather severe autism, to those who told her when she was wrong and made firm boundaries.
I agree that while we must show love and model patience and anger control, there has to be a gentle firmness at all times. This course described ways to understand when a child is striving for attention with negative behavior as opposed to having a real problem with comprehension. It was extremely difficult not to live with making peace in the moment as opposed to fighting for the future.
I purchased this programme in order to help me with my 6-year old son who has ODD. He has been in counselling since the age of 3 as his temper tantrums have turned into both physical and verbal abuse, towards myself and also his younger sister. I read countless books on parenting and raising children but none mentioned ODD: the common disorder known here in Europe, or at least in Switzerland is ADD.
I desperately needed to be able to handle these day-to-day conflicts and the ODD lifeline is precisely that: a practical guide to enable parents to respond appropriately to a child who seems to have little or no respect for any kind of parental authority. It has been really helpful in learning to pick my battles wisely and relinquishing my part in "controlling" his actions. I am still finding it very difficult to identify the "trigger" events leading up to the outbursts (both his and mine) and the feelings I experience when they take place so the workbook exercises aren't as complete as I had hoped. Further to this, I bought the Total Transformation Program as the ODD lifeline was the 1st stone in building a solid foundation... Thank you for showing us we're not alone in this painful situation!
I found total transformation to be extremely helpful in our house. There are countless examples in this program of things my kids say that I never knew what to respond with. Now I have effective/helpful responses that are stated calmly instead of blabbering on ineffectively like I used to. You have to be committed to the program. If you are committed and take it seriously and do the work, it pays off in spades!
I purchased the Total Transformation to assist with my 11 yr old son. He pushed my buttons to the extreme limit, had an \"I don\'t care\" attitude, did not initiate chores (even the simplest routine tasks), & was very slow at starting or completing anything asked of him. Most of all, he disrupted the flow of our lives resulting in much frustration, disappointment & exhaustion every day.
Often times, I would give in to the whining just to move on without hearing \\\"can I?\\\", \\\"then, can I just..?\\\"or \\\"that\\\'s not fair\\\" one more time.
The program is (without a doubt) applicable to all situations. It is presented in an audio lesson with a workbook exercise following each lesson. Both were relevant, helful & easy to follow and implement.
From the start, I knew the Total Transformation was going to be useful. It helped me (as a single parent to my 11 yr old & 2 yr old boys) to regain the power to take charge & ensure that my son \\\"did care\\\" about himself & others, as well as giving him the ability to understand & take responsibility for his actions.
I did use the parent support line once. The screener was calming, knowledgeable & provided excellent feedback.
My review can go on & on about how wonderfully these techniques work (and make sense). But, to sum it up... My household is much more relaxed. My son handles situations with more responsibility and reacts in a more productive way. I continue to listen to the CD\\\'s as a refresher to help when we both start to loose our focus or need to handle new situations.
I rarely write reviews (good or bad). I could not let this one go without the recognition of helping to make my life more enjoyable and my interactions with my children a rewarding experience every day. THANK YOU!
The Total Transformation was extremely helpful to me understand what I as a parent was or was not doing to get positive change within our household. It was a tremendous reinforcement of the things I was doing correct and a wonderful eye opener on the things I was not doing so well.
I saw wonderful results and I am thankful for having the discs to refer back to from time to time to make sure I am staying on track. There is a lot to digest so to practice as you go along in between discs is extremely helpful.
Thank you Total Transformation!
I was desperate, I THOUGHT my 15 year old son had no respect for authority, did not care about anyone, and would end up in juvenile hall one day if I couldn\\\'t get through to him. He was constantly angry, arguing, disrespecting people, and acting out horribly at home and in public. With the knowledge that the Total Transformation program gave me I discovered I was so very wrong. Using JUST the preview information that the program told me to use until I received the whole set,my son responded with mouth dropping, unbelievable results.
Then working through each disc of the program helped me to understand how my son thinks, why he reacts the way he does, and how to redirect him. It helped me explain to him, why he does what he does. He wasn\\\'t a bad kid, just needed a different way of learning then I had been using. My son is now a loving, caring, happy teenage boy. He accepts authority, takes responsibility for his actions, and most importantly loves himself again. Working through this whole experience has made our communication more open, honest, and direct. Our family is so much stronger and closer.
This program built on what we already were learning as parents to help our child with some behavior difficulties. It was easy to listen too and implement the steps. The biggest thing you need to remember that \"you\" as a parent need to transformed in how you are handling situtation and your child. It\'s alot like when you take a beloved dog to obidence school, you really learn more than the dog because your reaction and take charge is what curbs and helps them.
Samething here but we are talking about helping our children become productive members of society.
Work the program, do not fail to implement and do not be hard on yourself when you have to revisit areas.
Love it, right on target!
I am writing in regards to the total
transformation program. This is a
great way of saving money by reading
this you don t need to find a doctor
drive to a counselor or pay for meds
this tells you everything you need to
do to get your child to communicate with you and to become a better parent
to your child. It is a great lesson to learn to deal with all children that we are around. I have recommended it to many of my friends who children and they love it.
Lydia/ San Jose
I was really surprised at the change in MY thought process in handling my ODD Son after listening to the program and working through the workbook.
I realize now that it is his life and I am on my TOES and know I am doing the best I can for him. His response to the new way I have been handling these situations has been very positive and we are having alot better time together!
Thanks!
At our support group we as parents viewed this dvd and found the information very helpful. The role playing is also helpful, it gives parents a vision of how to respond in a way that is less emotional and more productive. our support group has viewed many of the total transformation dvd's and I feel they are right on track with helping parents, if they are willing to put the time and commitment into the program.
Denise
I was pulling my hair out with my grandson behavior when he would come home from a visit father.
After going through the the Total Transformation Lessions and Program, my grandson has change for the good. even his teacher have notice the great inprovement. He works hard and now help other in his class with out causing others to cry.
We ordered the program to help us communicate with our 10 year old son better. While our son\'s behavior has improved. We\'ve noticed a HUGE change in OUR behavior. We no longer automatically start screaming when there\'s a problem. We think of the steps we learned and try our best to put them into practice.
The program is easy to follow, but there are a LOT of steps so we highly recommend listening to each CD at least twice.
Out of the entire program we seemed to get the most out of CD 6, which offered some role playing of real life situations. We hope a future version of the program offers move of that.
If you\'re having trouble relating and getting the respect you deserve, try the Total Transformation Program, you WILL learn something.
This took principles in Proverbs and translated it into a secular education.
It helped me as a single parent understand the triggers, not \'anger management\', how to manage the problems with disobedience.
Now I tell him to do things and he does them.
I used techniques that he could understand and it worked. GREAT PROGRAM. would recommend it to ALL single parents/moms
My daughter and grandson live with me, my grandson has ODD I ordered The Total Transformation Program because grandson was out of control. I would never have thought that a 7 year old could be so disruptive and controlling. I would not take him anywhere with me because he would not behave and he was getting in trouble at school also. After receiving and reading the program I thought it would not work for my grandson, it seemed to be for older kids but I know I had to do something. I read the lessons and listened to the disc again the second time I was able to understand how to bring it down to my grandson level. The first week was total defiance but I did not give up. The second week was hard but I did see improvement. By the end of the 7th week my daughter and I had control back. We still have up and downs the unfortunate thing is my grandson will always have ODD but using the techniques in the program has made our lives so much better. The parent support service was very helpful I did use it on one occasion. I would recommend this program.
All I can say is THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for giving me back my sweet, caring, loving child.
My son was always a pleasure to be around, a child that was caring, sweet and who\'s sense of humour always made him everyones sweetheart.
Then when he turned 5 some difficult changes occurred in his life. His dad and I went through a divorce, we moved to a different state and as hard as I tried, his world shook. Though he\'s a strong boy this definitely had an impact on him. By the time he turned 9 he had transformed into a boy I didn\'t know and as hard as it is to say, didn\'t like. He had become defiant, oppositional,aggresive. Would constantly answer back. He had no respect for authority, whether it be myself, aunts, uncles, teachers, friends, principals...he did not care. I was having anxiety about answering my phone because it was a call from school every day. He was seeing a therapist for over a year, at first I thought it was helping but soon enough I realized I was wrong. What he said in therapy and what he did out of there where two different things. I would go into my bedroom sometimes when I was very frustrated at him and just cry. I didn\'t want him to see me and I didn\'t know what else to do or what I was doing wrong.
One day, on a particularly hard day I was sitting in my car when I heard the Total Transformation Solution on the radio, I called right then and there, what else did I have to lose?
The customer service rep I spoke to on the phone was so understanding and helpful, she did not make me feel like I was to blame at all and that I had finally reached the right path for help. I was so excited to recieve my package a few days later and though I was warry at first I started listening right away.
I learned something from every single step of the program. Most importantly that being the perfect mom was my #1 mistake! My son was feeding off my guilt and using it against me. My son also realized that by breaking me down he would get what he wanted and my inconsistency with his punishments was proof. Even though I said no to something at first, if he kept nagging and annoying me he would eventually get what he wanted..another one of my big mistakes. He had no sense of responsibility because \"mommy\" would always make excuses for him and cover for him. I slowly realized I \"created\" this little demon now it was up to me to get rid of it and bring back the baby I came home with!
I went through the cd\'s and started putting it into work right away, it was not easy and I still trip up sometimes but now I kow what to look for. The second time I listened to them I asked my son to listen to them with me and shocking enough he did. He sat right next to me on the couch and would ask questions and I would pause to explain things to him. He was trying and some things actually brought him to tears.
To wrap this all up I want to say that this program is a Godsend!I started it in December and we are in April and in just 5 months the difference in my sons behavior is like night and day. Don\'t get me wrong he has his moments as do I as does anybody I\'m sure but it\'s working. I no longer get calls from school, his dean, vice principal, security guards,counselor, and teachers have stopped me around school to tell me what an amazing difference in Joseph. He won second place in the school science fair last week. He is one of the MVP\'s on his baseball team and will sho up for practice even if he does not feel well.
My family who always loved him beyond words no matter how he behaved, pulled me aside and told me \"oh my god, what happened to Joseph? he is like a different kid! he is so sweet and kind and a doll around his 5 yr old and 1 tr old cousins\" my dad told me wow Joseph calmed down alot right?
I am so greatful to the Lehman\'s for this program...thank you, thank you. thank you for this Total Transformation I don\'t know how long or if I ever would have got my child back if it wasn\'t for you. Your program should go onto Noahs Ark if ever we are in danger of losing everything again :-)
Sincerely Forever Greatful,
Joseph\'s proud mom,
Nina
The Total Transformation Program helps you to form your responses so that they fit the situation and the moment. It gives you the tools to help you to take the emotion out of and to just breathe through a teenage rant and to know what that rant is.
Importantly, you learn not to take it personally and to stay in the moment.
This program gives you the responses and strategies to avoid arguments and to begin listening and really hearing that the child has something useful and important to add. Imagine that. You are listening. It changes alot!
The Total Transformation program helps you, as the parent or caregiver, to reflect and to consider a whole range of new techniques and strategies to bring peace into your home and joy back into your relationship with your teens.
It\'s a new set of tools so strap it on and help your child help themselves. The skills you will learn are life skills that your child will use in his own relationships as he matures. Good luck on your journey to a Total Transformation.
I am a parent of three boys, one of whom has many behavioral problems in school and out of school, mostly in school. I want all parents to know that there is help and with the Total Transformation I have gotten help, and I will always have help because I own The Total Transformation.
I have realized that I can use this program as offten as I need. my child with behavior problems also is ADHD. By having him listen to this program has helped him to realize what he did not understand about himself. For instance he was really reluctant to listen at first, he would thow fits while listening to it but I am confident that because of this program we have over come many chalanges. We still have chalanges but I know that if I use this frequently it will contiue to help with our battles. I have even used this product for my self when I was haveing struggles.
I would recommend this program to every parrent not just ones with special needs children but for any child and parent who needs any kind of help.
Thank You Total Transfermation for haveing a program that works.
I love this program! It has been successful for me and my situation. I do feel that there are some rough edges that need a bit of polishing; but other than that it has been a breath of fresh air while raising two teenaged girls with a younger brother watching closely.
Thank you James!!
I think you\\\'re on the right track in trying to improve these kids\\\' decision making skills by weighing things out first. It\\\'s easier said than done though.
Homework battles continue to be the most challenging area for our 16 year old
ADHD/ODD son and I wish you would have covered this area more. What do you say to a kid who says \\\"I won\\\'t to do my homework and I don\\\'t care?\\\"
It is wonderful, as a counselor, to offer a professional program with a solid track record of success to struggling parents. I love the continued support with the online articles. I\\\'ve never used the support line, but it is a wonderful feature to this program. Sometimes the most important aspect of parenting is getting all the care givers on the same page. This program does that by giving all care givers a plan to follow. That kind of consistency yields rapid results.
Thanks!!
The Total Transformation program beats anything else I\\\'ve tried: counseling for my 11-year old child, the Becoming a Love and Logic Parent course, and my parent support group. Unlike Love and Logic, it is really made for challenging behaviors like destructiveness, abusiveness, and defiance. Unlike child counseling, you are the one that learns new behaviors that effect change in your child. I began the T.T. program some months after I began attending my parent support group. I highly recommend doing both. But the support group\\\'s materials weren\\\'t enough to make this BIG, relatively fast change in my child. If I had to choose between the two, I’d do this program.
Total Transformation is a lot of work but everything, including the survey, the CDs, DVDs, the workbook, and the support line, really helps you learn how to change your own behavior. The program pinpointed the areas I needed to change. It provided great responses to challenging behaviors. Changing your responses helps change your child. The program has made a huge difference for us and, best of all, I can review any of my materials at any time!
My husband and I purchased this program for our daughter who has ADHD and is 11, but we noticed it to be more helpful for our 26 year-old son, who acts like he is 15. Our daughter responded very well to the techniques, but she is not really at the problem level shown in the material. This program has given us the tools to avoid creating a problem with our daughter through poor parenting techniques.
The material was explained really well and the exercises really helped us understand the material. The long-lost idea of personal responsibility really comes through in this material, both for the parents and for the child. Already, it is working in our home.
We would highly recommend this program to our family and friends, and to the clients in my husband\'s law practice.
Dr. Lehman has amazing insights and
understanding of people. His lectures are interesting, informative, and entertaining. I have found the lessons useful in
every relationship I have. It really reaches much further into human interactions, than just dealing with difficult children.
This program should be a required
course for all human beings.
This was a most valuable and helpful program.
It affirms the adult and restores dignity to the caregiver. so that respect and real concern can be understood by the child. It is a most effective program.I would highly recommend it.
There are many times as a parent that we feel at our edge - whether it be emotionally or physically. The Total Transformation Program gives you, as a parent, the practical steps to become discplined in how you react with your child(ren). This is an important aspect of parenting, being that we are trying to teach our own child(ren) to be displined. Discipling your child comes from being discplined as a parent - anything other than that is punishment. The Total Transformation gave me as a parent a game plan on how to difuse each situation and to remain in control - thus discplining my child(ren) appropriately. If you need a game plan and want to feel like your are winning in this arena, I would encourage you to use this program.
Your Champion,
Mike C
I feel that Total Transformation is an excellent tool that every parent and educator can benefit from. I work with children, and I’m also a parent of young adults. Total Transformation has given me a whole new perspective on how I view and approach behaviour conflicts. I have learned through Total Transformation that children can react negatively because they don’t know how to resolve problems they encounter in their daily lives. Knowing the right words to say or not say to a child can make all the difference on how the child will respond in conflict resolution. Thanks to Total Transformation I am now more empowered to help kids achieve success.
While my daughter isn\\\'t agressive or completely defiant, she\\\'s a typical pre-teen who doesn\\\'t like to listen but likes to press buttons, do her own thing, be a bit disrespectful, and roll her eyes.
With the Total Transformation, the program enabled me to utilize workable tools to tweak my own parenting style into a more constructive and productive one.
It has empowered me to handle issues in a better way which has helped my overall relationship with my daughter.
The \\\"transformation\\\" is a process... but, like a home, the parent-child relationship is always a work-in-progress -- where things need to be addressed and when needed, changed.
Finding myself impressed and curious from the beginning of this program, I soon discovered I had found true and sound methods of communication and the process of application within my family. I learned that having the correct tools prepared me and strengthened my abilities as a Grandparent. It\\\\\\\'s never too late to learn. I wish I\\\\\\\'d had these tools as a young parent. The methods of communication, example, structure and guidance are so simply explained in 1, 2, 3 order. Each concept following the other. Now, I can honestly say...there is a manual on raising children correctly. The tools I have now are clearly helping me as I teach my grandchildren their responsibility within their thoughts, actions and choices. Problem solving skills are developing and self-esteem is growing because of them. I am so grateful for these truths as they have blessed my family with
knowledge and guidance. This program is effective,
simply explained and application is respectful with step by step instruction. Every child....deserves this positive influence in their life. I am grateful my grandchildren now do.
This program has helped me over and over again with both of my children. It made me realize, I am the parent and they are the kid. I\'m not afraid to take charge and I\'m no longer afraid of them getting mad at me because of it. They have shown more respect towards me in the long run and seem to be more content with their new boundaries.
This has not made them perfect or made parenting easier. The program teaches parents how to parent smarter, not harder.
I still remain amazed at how helpful The Total Transformation has been for my family. I am a foster parent of special needs children. Many of the children I care for are drug effected. Normal parenting styles just do not work with these kids.
Holding each child accountable for his/her actions in my opinion is the key to successful parenting. Children need to know what is expected of them and have clear consequences if they do not follow the rules.
The Total Transformation has taught me it\'s okay to have expectations and set limits. That less talking is more in regards to discipline. I would recommend The Total Transformation to ALL parents.
I have been working with students with special needs for over 10 years. I found this program to provide foundational techniques,to use with my students and their parents. The only problem is that in our public school system, accountability is no longer taught, because so many are afraid of being sued. I wish that more adminstrators, superintendents, board of educations, and community members desired to have this approach IN THEIR COMMUNITY.
I try to share your website and information with as many parents in trouble as possible.
When I was raising my children I prayed for some information like total transformation offers. I was a young widow and as a result had some of the problems most single parents face. It was my oldest, my darling, beautiful, smart, talented daughter who turned my life and heart upside down.
Now, I am teaching in a Correctional facility for male youth. The program has helped me \"keep it together\" when I need to. When I started here the stress of the job and the ongoing dilemnas of how to handle multiple challenges brought everything about my own life back into shocking reality.
The reinforcement of what is right and what your heart is telling you about how to handle the situation is so very needed. It is easy to question yourself and your methods. Total Transformation teaches you how to say and do what needs to be done without losing it. It also helps one realize that if you do lose it there is a way to handle that also.
I took the program One cd at a time and it worked wonderful with our son. Prior to this program our son acted out in public. He wanted to be the center of attention. Our son was 5 years old when I did the program and I\'m greatful to have the program to re visit if needed and use on our Toddler.
This is a very beneficial program well worth the time invested in listening to the CDs and following the packet.
Thank you for creating this program to help parents out there that think its there falt the kids act out.
There is nothing to loose for someone thinking about getting the program but, everything to gain.
I was at my wits end with my daughters attitude and behaviour, the way she was treating everybody was ridiculous , we had to do something, but she was 18yrs old?
no-matter, after using the total transformation for only one week, everything changed, really don\'t want to sound corny but it did, I love the total transformation and would and have told everybody who would listen what it has done for our family, thank you so much to everybody over there who took the time to help make this dvd, o and by the way love that I could listen to it in the car going to work, over and over again, made it really user friendly..
The Complete Guide To Consequences DVD and book were very helpful in so many ways. It show's to to react to negative comments, how to remain calm, how to take a few minutes to think about the consequences and measures that need to be taken along with coaching the child into better behavior versus arguing over nonessentials and it is so great just to review as a reminder which I know I need and have already done.
Peggy
I was totally impressed with TT. I ordered in a moment when my family was dealing with divorce. I was having trouble with my youngest daughter not wanting to go to school or do house work and using her newborn as an excuse for not doing life.
After hearing the first 10 minutes of just the introduction I was sold completely. The knowledge I received helped me most of all. It empowered and confirmed things I knew and gave me new knowledge for things I didnt know. I am recommending this series to everyone...period. Thank God for Answers.
I learned soooooo much from this program. It\'s made a big difference to have a game plan (the techniques I learned) and know how to respond to my children when a situation comes along. It makes it so that I can be a better TEACHER to my kids.
This program seems to be geared more towards pre-teens and older; but I was still able to come away with so many great things to help me with my smaller children (5 & 7). It also gives me time to practice the techniques so that I can use them more naturally when my kids DO get older. It was definitely worth my time and money to have this. Get it, keep it, & review it so you don\'t slip back into old habits.
I purchased the Total Transformation Program in September of 2011.
Being a sinlge mom with two young boys, one with multiple disabilities ADHD, OCD, ODD, anxiety and learning disabilities our house was in turmoil and getting worse by the minute. This program taught me how to parent the children I have, to take control, and to set down household rules and thus regaining a more peaceful home.
As James states, with progress expect set-backs and everyday we have bumbs in the road. I do not have perfect children, but there has been huge improvements! Our doctors cannot believe the progress that has been made WITHOUT medication. Thank you, James and the Total Transformation Program!!!
What a big difference in my grandson. I purchased this for
my daughter. Her son is 7 yrs old. Some of this information is too old for him, but my daughter found this extremely helpful. He is doing so much better at home and has not been a disepline problem this school year.
I was frustrated and had given up on my relationship with my son. Total Transformation offered hope and gave me the tools I needed to work with my teenage son. The program is full of great information and examples of how to use the tools and skills they teach you. A workbook is included which helps to reinforce everything you have learned. I would recommend this program to anyone. It works.
Before the Total Transformation Program, my three children hit each other constantly. It was their instant response to each other. I also have a son that constantly talked back and was very oppositional and would argue constantly over anything and everything. Within three weeks of starting the program my children rarely, if ever, resorted to hitting anymore. They now know they are responsible for their actions and they know the consequences for their negative behavior. My argumentative son realizes now that just because he is tired or hungry or whatever his excuse happens to be, he has to control how he talks to myself or his father.
This program is very effective, but parents have to be willing to listen to the CDs and use the workbook and be willing to make a change in their parenting techniques. Our family is much more stable and happy due to the Total Transformation Program. Having followed the steps that are given in the CDs and workbook, this program has definitely worked for us.
My 6 yr old son was diagnosed as ADHD with compulsive and aggressive type tendencies. I have tried so many different books and types of parenting styles that didn\\\'t work. My son is on medication during the day while at school, but that doesn\\\'t help with his defiance and constant meltdowns at home. The Total Transformation helped me to learn that he has to be responsible for his own choices and behavior. That I can\\\'t keep using his diagnosis as an excuse for his bad behavior.
This program helped me be a better parent for my child, not the child I wished he was.
My son is a good kid, makes good grades, doesn\'t act out at school. However, at home he had a hard time dealing with us saying no to him and not being allowed to do what he wanted. Usually it was about homework or playtime. He never wanted to start homework and didn\'t want to stop the playtime. He is 9 years old.
So, when he didn\'t like what we had to say, we would get into a fighting match. I would try to justify my request and he would argue about things that weren\'t relevant to the discussion. I was always walking on egg shells trying to gauge his mood. It wasn\'t a healthy environment.
When I started using the program, I learned how to stay focused on the issue at hand and how to stay calm.
It was very simple, but if you don\'t know what to do, it seems so defeating. We have all relearned how to respond to each other. I was terrible about yelling. I knew it wasn\'t helping; but, I needed guidance on what to do instead. My son now reminds ME to calm down if I start to get too excited about a difference we are having. I recommend this to anyone who is having difficulty with a child who is a little or a lot rebellious. Also, I am continuing to listen to James Lehman\'s tapes because I sometimes fall back into old habbits.
I never used the Parental Support, but I rated it a 5 because the lady who I spoke with initially was so informative and helpful. She didn\'t just take my order, but discussed some of our issues with me. She was very nice and easy to talk to. I am assuming she was part of Parental Support.
I hope this review helps whom ever reads it.
I spent hours with the tapes and workbook because it was so to the point!
Face to face with difficult people I tended to give in . Because of the
caring and practical examples I was able
to see things in a different way. I was able to handle myself better and to
communicate better. I have recommended
the tapes and I have been telling people about the examples in them.
These tapes also were a help in almost
any confrontational situation I have encountered since I finished the course.
Thank you!
Mr. Lehman knows this topic inside and out. He has great insight into the misconceptions and life-view of troubled children and how to address these problems.
Some techniques work quickly. There is SO much to remember, that it will take time and reviewing the material a lot before the responses he teaches to use in specific situations will come automatically when dealing with a child.
This program takes work to implement, but the effort is worth it.
I purchased this program because of my grand-children.. Their parents are divorced and they are with us every other weekends some in the summer etc.... Because of this fact I wanted to be a friend and hated making rules or fussing at them because I felt there was enough turmoil in their lives... However things became so bad with home it began to carry over to their time with us. They came in with bad moods...sometime the older (7) one would go under her bed and even began wetting her pants...and the little one would cry if you looked at him harsh.... I had enough so I ordered the program and I told them Meme was going to try to make things better but we have to have rules and went so far as to ask what they thought some would be...
I can\\\\\\\'t begin to tell you what an eye-opener this was... If they got upset and went to the room pouting I learned to let them have that time... I didn\\\\\\\'t have to confront them and ask for an explination... It made me realize how I get when I am up-set about things how I always want a few minutes alone and they needed to be granted that same time..Just because we are adults we aren\\\\\\\'t always 100% correct or act perfect... So time outs weren\\\\\\\'t get in the corner or go to your room and don\\\\\\\'t come out until I say. They were/are allowed a \\\\\\\"me\\\\\\\" time or as a \\\\\\\"their own time... It is no longer about punisment it is a learning experience for all of us....we are re-learning the rules the same as they are...It takes time You will most likely read or study a lesson and come back 2 weeks later hear it and learn something you missed the first time. let me say this will change you not just a child... parenting/grandparenting You as a person in your everyday life with marriage, socially etc become the person you always knew you should be or thought you were. When we go to the store now we make a game and lovingly with humor I say what are the rules..They say \\\\\\\"Meme\\\\\\\" the rules are you can\\\\\\\'t explode we can\\\\\\\'t cry... No-one fusses and and they will let us back in the store\\\\\\\". It is working...we eat at the table not infront of the tv... I talk to them when we aren\\\\\\\'t up-set about something that made us up-set earlier. If they see the brother up-set they aren\\\\\\\'t to get into the line of fire. Rewards are given for no reason out of the Blue. They have a list of rewards they can pick from and when they mess up the reward comes off the list. If the list gets empty Oh well it\\\\\\\'s back to the drawing board.
There are so many great things in this program I have never even considered would work but I can\\\\\\\'t name them all. This has helped my marriage greatly without it having anything to do with the children.
The ONE THING I CAN TELL YOU>THIS NEEDS TO BE MANDATORY FOR ALL HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS.. EVERY PARENT SHOULD HAVE A COPY UPON THEIR FIRST OBGYN APPOINTMENT..EVERY SCHOOL LIBRARY..CHURCH AND COUNSELOR\\\\\\\'S OFFICE SHOULD HAVE A COPY OF THIS...I\\\\\\\'M NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY I AM VERY SERIOUS... ALL ADULTS CHILDREN OR NOT SHOULD HAVE THIS TO MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE BETTER BY UNDERSTANDING YOUR-SELF. JUST GET THE PROGRAM YOU WON\\\\\\\'T BE SORRY WORTH EVEY MINUTE YOU PUT INTO IT
The Total Transformation Program works. It is easy to follow and it gives you examples on what it is that you need to do. It is all about teaching the child to be held accountable for their actions. Children need to be thought that even though they have rights and may choose to do differently but they have to learn that their actions are of their own makings and they have to learn to be held accountable for their own decisions. Not the parents and not the system either.
In order for the program to work it has to be done consistently.
The way you the parent conduct yourself in different situations is being evaluated by your child/children. Do they the children feel safe? Do they feel confident that Mommy and Daddy are awesome and can handle anything that this old world can hurle at the family? Children become more aware earlier than they did when you were a child.
Any knowledge that you can aquire on child development is very helpful. Any knowledge that you can aquire as to how children think is extremely important. Does TV and all the techno divices play a role in all this? You bet it does. Johnny\'s parents gave him such and such I want that too! Maybe Johnny can handle the added responsibility can your child? A child is an important part of any family handle with LOVE and KNOWLEDGE and don\'t be afraid that it won\'t work. It does to what ever degree that you apply the knowledge of the total transformation to your
situation. Empower yourself with the knowledge about these children that have learned the wrong way (easy) to handle different situations that life throws at them and teach them how to live on this planet in harmony with others. James learned these things the hard way. But has devised a way for others to gain what he learned without having to learn it the hardest way of all. What worked for our parents and our parents parents does not work today. We live in a vastly diffrent world than they did and knowledge is the key. James Lehman has the knowledge and is willing to share. Grab it and learn from it.
This is a great program. The role plays are very helpful. The only reason I didn't give it 5 stars is that I wish there were more role plays and more exact phrases and sentences I could use. The one provided are very helpful.
It is helping me make consequence valuable instead of punishment. A HUGE difference and one worth learning if you plan on parenting correctly. This along with the Total Transformation Program is a good combo.
I really appreciate the quick results from the methods outlined in the program. I purchased the set and used it for our own family and then feel blessed to be able to offer it to my clients as a further aide to them in helping their children. I\'ve been able to see all of the kids take more responsibility for their own actions. It showed a lot of the parents they were catering to children way too much - to their own detriment. All of the parents have seen great results when the techniques are followed.
Thanks!
Karen S.
I thought the Consequence video/information was great. James points out that you cannot punish people into good behavior and I couldn't agree more. Working in a school for over 30 years, I "know" that punishment does not work and that effective consequences do work. What I enjoyed the most is that the information, in the video, made "common sense" His ideas are practical and easy to understand and implement.
Whenever I had given consequences to my daughter in the past, most often she would not follow through, especially when it was a grounding. The way the video talks about consequences makes it clear and task oriented rather than time oriented because in doing the task, or stopping themselves from doing something for a period of time, gives the child/teen practice to do things differently and so parents can become more effective.
Let me say thank you first, Thank You Very Much, for Total Transformation.
It works, Yes, it works. Let me share part of our journey with you.
When our daughter does not like something or does not get her way, she becomes mean or disrespect with her mother, especially.
First, the program helped me to look at myself first as a parent, and my parenting style. While I was doing some things effectively, (before the program I would have said \\\"...doing something right\\\" instead of being an effective parent), there were some things I was very ineffective in. An example: I would take every opportunity I get in a teaching moment, or to lecture truth to my daughter. While I still do some of that, I am doing a whole lot more listening first and then engage my daughter. I believe that she feels more valuable, heard and more cared for than before.
The difference that I see now is amazing. We work as a family to help pay for her tuition. At first our daughter fought us hand and foot. She was not going to help us. After listening and explaining, not teaching or trying to get her to see our point of view only, and getting her feedback, we notice a powerful change. When we went to work, my daughter got sick, so my wife asked me to help with our daughter\\\'s part of the work after my classes. I said yes. Before my classes was over, I got a text that the work was done. That surprised me. So I asked later how come they did not need my help anymore. My wife told me that even though our daughter was sick she still did her work, and without complaining at that. Here our daughter had a perfect reason not to work but she pushed through her sickness and did the work any way. I also asked her later why she did it. She said that she realize that we, the parents, are really trying hard for keep our family together, and that she is a part of the of the family, and that she wants to help.
It might seem simple or insignificant about being a effective parent instead of doing things right; or seeing things through the eyes of the young person,(people are a means to an end for them, using people to get what they want), was very educational and helpful in working and understanding our daughter.
We have also been having family meetings to address the things that matter to us. In our first two meetings we addressed some real problems. In the process of time we saw some huge changes. As a result, our third meeting was to thank our daughter and to affirm her. When I said to her that we needed to meet, again she immediately became tense and got worried. She asked her mother at least two times what the meeting was about. Her mother told her that if she had not done anything wrong that she did not need to worry. She still worried until we had the meeting. I began the meeting by thanking her for her good work, the changes we saw and how helpful she had been, and how important she is to our family. She said OKAY, WHAT ELSE!!! Oh we are done, we just wanted to thank you. Our daughter did not believe us. She was still trying to figure out if something negative or corrective was going to come. We had to convince her that we were done. After a while I think she believed us.
It works. You gave us new lens or a different ways of looking at things, and even some new ways of seeing things. We also felt that you understood us and supported by you.
I still say that \\\"IT WORKS\\\".
This program did help us immensly. There is less screaming and arguing going on in our house. now. She doesn\'t like it when I tell her not to talk to me like that, and I send her to her room.I have had more success with that alone. It is like she wakes up and realizes what she is doing, and wants to make amends.When she is truly sorry for her actions, we have a definite shift of attitude and when she is conning me, that too is obvious,and she winds up back in her room. We are not where we want to be or will be, but thank God, we are not where we were.
This program seemed to be more for me and how to handle our situations. I have made more changes than she has, but I needed those changes to happen to me first. I am still using the cards.Monor adjustments will make major changes, and I am still continuing to make the changes that need to be made.
I have recommended the program to 3 different families and will xontinue to give the phone 3 to other parents that I find are having the same un-healthy experiences with their children.
I would give the program a 5 out of 5. I have found it to be quite reletive to the issues I face as a perent. The overall law out of the program has help me in commuating better with my child. This program is a MUST HAVE for ALL family.
Keep up the great work.
I took advantage of the Total Transformation Program. First I listened to the CD\'s & did the workbook along with the survey by myself. Now we (my son & I) are doing it together.
He knew I was doing it & I would let him know things I had learned. Already I have seen a change in him. My son has ODD and ADHD. He is an emotional child and very uncontrollable. It got so bad that his 15 year old brother would get mad at him for disrespecting me and try to handle it on his own, cause I had given up. Slowly but surely you can tell he is changing. He tries to revert back to his old ways, but then realizes it won\'t work on me anymore.
This program is awesome. Plus, having the CD\'s & book, I can always go back to various sections when different things come up with my son.
Thank you for Total Transformation.