A comment on my recent blog "How to Have a (Happier) Blended Family" caught my attention because it deals with a typical complaint: being stuck in the middle. In her comment, Laura asks, "We are going on an extended family camping trip together next week. I don’t want to be in the middle of this battle... Read more »
The idea that kids should learn to do chores for some abstract reason—like duty or responsibility—sounds good on paper, but has very little practical application in a child's life. It just doesn't work as a strategy. But there are practical steps you can take to get your kids to do their chores. Getting kids to do... Read more »
This week, read about an oppositional, defiant teen in James Lehman's compelling book, Transform Your Problem Child. Meet the parents and family of Caleb, who have been dealing with their son's behavior since he was a young child, and "raising their tolerance for deviance" with each instance of acting out. When Caleb gets physically abusive,... Read more »
Parents often wonder how much privacy their children need and ask me if it's okay to violate it. Personally, I believe there should be a direct link between the amount of responsibility, consistency, and honesty that kids show and the amount of privacy they're allowed to have. But, before we get to the subject of... Read more »
Empowering Parents editor Elisabeth Wilkins talks with James Lehman about his life, his book, and the hard-won lessons he discovered growing up as a defiant, acting-out child. From being abandoned in a basement as an infant to a life of crime and drug addiction in his teens and young adulthood, learn how James transformed his... Read more »
Verbal abuse and intimidation by children and teens isn't just a phase that goes away—it doesn't just happen. It often has deep roots that begin early in a child's development. And it often begins as a way for kids to try to get power through controlling their parents. In this article, I'm going to show... Read more »
Recently, I talked with the mother of a 16-year-old girl enrolled in Empowering Parent's eCoaching program about her daughter’s behavior outside of the house. This mom had just begun the Total Transformation program, but had questions about how to use its techniques to make her daughter follow the rules when she was away from home.... Read more »
Whenever an adolescent doesn’t want to take responsibility, it’s very likely they’ll present themselves as a victim. When your child says, “You don’t understand me,” that’s playing the victim, because what they’re really saying is, “I’m a victim of your misunderstanding." When they say, “My teacher is mean. That’s why I didn’t do my homework,”... Read more »
A diagnosis is an important piece of the puzzle we are trying to solve when we try to help kids with disabilities learn how to function. Many parents are relieved when they get a diagnosis for their acting-out, “problem child” because they see it as a guideline for the future. They think, “Now we’ll know... Read more »
When you have a child who acts out and is disrespectful or disruptive, it's easy to compare him to the so-called "good kids" who never seem to get into trouble or give their parents grief. Many parents feel hopeless about the possibility of ever teaching their child to become the kind of well-behaved member of the... Read more »