"On the way home from work every day, I start getting stressed out because I know that my 15-year-old son will be waiting, ready to start a fight with me. There are times when I want to turn the car around and not deal with him anymore, but I know that's wrong. I'm so tired... Read more »
Some children demand constant attention and will not take "no" for an answer. Just as children need to learn the importance of saying “please” and “thank you,” they need to learn how to appropriately make requests. If you're the parent of a demanding child, rest assured that this is not a new problem and there... Read more »
Over the years, many parents in blended families have come to me about stepchild disrespect. In some cases, their stepkids didn't respect them, and in others, their biological child didn't respect their new spouse. Often, the kids were rude or obnoxious, saying things like, "You're not my father; I don't have to listen to you!"... Read more »
You often hear kids say, "I'm sorry, but..." and follow their apology with an excuse. "I'm sorry, BUT you wouldn't let me play my video games." "I'm sorry I kicked a hole in the wall, BUT you told me I couldn't go outside." What your child really means is this: "I'm sorry, BUT it was your fault." Or another... Read more »
Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-respect are interchangeable phrases we use to identify our kids' confidence in their ability to handle life's problems. I think of it as the feeling that things are going to work out all right, that you can manage the bumps in the road, and that you respect yourself. Each time a child... Read more »
From young children to teens, James Lehman, MSW explains why your child is in trouble if he or she uses anger and acting out behavior to control others. When children use anger to get what they want, it can feel for all the world like they're pointing a loaded weapon at you. As a parent, you... Read more »
The idea that a kid is responsible for things is not inborn—it doesn't just happen by itself. It needs to be taught, coached, and learned. In some ways, it's no mystery: kids are born with no responsibilities, and everything they do is by instinct. They cry when they're hungry or want something, and they go to... Read more »
I've counseled many parents through the years who were discouraged about their kids' behavior problems. They felt hopeless and wondered if things were ever going to change. They would ask me: "Will my kid be messed up forever?" Their feelings are understandable. When you have a child who acts out in very aggressive and destructive ways,... Read more »
The word "spoiled" is a loaded term, one that has many levels of meaning for us as parents. You may envision a nagging in-law saying your children are "spoiled," you may remember a kindly grandparent "spoiling" you as a young child, or an unruly, "spoiled" kid you see in the ... Read more »
If your child acts out in public, and you don't respond effectively, your child learns they can blackmail you and hold you hostage with their behavior. Their mindset is, "Give me my way or face my acting out." Their behavior may involve yelling, screaming, and tantrums. It may be angry faces and a disgusted tone, disrespectful... Read more »