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Are we creating a generation of social misfits?
Inappropriate or risky behavior around texting has been widely reported (sexting, anyone?) but some experts are saying that texting can also rob our kids of the ability to interact socially.Β Seems all the texts that are being sent back and forth each day also prevent people from picking up on body language and facial expressions –Β a basic skill that we all need in order to communicate effectively. (Do you remember getting the raised eyebrow from your mom when you were a kid, for example? Or the scowl on a teacher’s face when you’d done something wrong? Pretty handy to know how to react next, don’tcha think?)
Kids on average send a whopping 2,272 texts per month. That translates to about 9 hours per week spent social networking.Β And more and more, teens and Gen Y folks use texting in the place of what would have been face-to-face communication in the past. But something happens — or rather, doesn’t happen — when you use a smiley face emoticon in place of a real smile. I personally think it’s important forΒ adolescents to actually have those face-to-face talks, instead of sending flat one-liners in the place of a real interaction. Sadly, breaking up via text message is now pretty standard. (Painless, maybe. But to me, part of growing up means that you experience emotions — and that you understand how your actions affect others. How else are you going to learn what empathy is all about?) Another part of growing up includes learning how to “read the room” before you walk in, and respecting other people’s emotions. (This also has a practical application: If your boss is having a bad day, it’s probably not a good time to waltz in and ask her for a raise.)
Texting has gotten so bad that in Silicon Valley they’ve started instituting “topless” meetings in the workplace, where people aren’t allowed to bring laptops, iPhones, or Blackberries with them. They’re trying to eliminate the “continuous partial attention” of their employees. (Hmmm, wonder if I can try this with my husband?)
Bottom line: People complain that the younger generation is apathetic, distracted and hurried — not to mention the fact that many adolescents can’t look people in the eye or hold a decent conversation. Many parents complain that their teen spends all his or her time texting, and ignores the rest of the family. If texting continues to replace face-to-face communication,Β I’m afraid we’re going to see more of the same.
Do you think texting and social networking has made your teen or tween less socially adept? How do you handle this in your home?
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September 25th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
This is an article all should read. I work with alot of the younger generation and I can’t believe the poor penmanship that mostly all have. They didn’t grow up writing — nowadays they type on a keyboard that eliminates the need and testing is via some application where all you need to do is click. I know its a more immediate way of communicating but at what cost?
September 29th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
my daughter did 20,000 texts per month. ATT has parental limits for $5. a month. I turn hers off while in school and at 10 30 on school nights and 1 00 am on the weekend. and if her grades are bad a will turn it off during homework time too. It is a huge problem. I see that lack of eye contact and ability to converse. I agree with this article, this generation is going to be different. Just how different, we shall see.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
I do the same with my daughter. I turn off her phone during school time (she can’t monitor herself, therefore, I do it). The phone can be used to call myself or her father at this time. I turn it off at night around 11:00 p.m. I haven’t during diner or homework time, but I have told her that is an option that I have if she can’t monitor herself. So far its working.
September 30th, 2009 at 11:29 am
I really like the option of calling the phone company and turning off texting at certain times — very smart. By the way, they’re discussing texting while driving at a 2-day summit in Washington DC this week (something that teens often engage in, with dire consequences).
You can read/listen to the story here:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113325341&ps=cprs
September 30th, 2009 at 11:50 am
We have a rule in our house that our kids cannot be texting or on the phone when we are at dinner or having a conversation. Last week, my daughter caught me checking my emails on my Blackberry when she was talking to me, and I got in trouble! It was a good lesson for both of us. (And my wife loved it.)
October 19th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
When it comes to adolescents and cell phone, setting down some clear rules and expectations is really important. I really enjoyed reading this post. I had no idea that teens spent on average 9hrs a week on social networking.
February 6th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
After my sons 10,000 one month, we have decided to take texting totally off of his phone. He can only text to adult family members. I absolutely feel these kids are not learning how to communicate or know how to interact with a group of kids without using their phone. It will be a big problem for these teenagers down the road when they need communication skills in their marriages & parenting.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:30 pm
i have a daughter 15 whos life seems to end if she cant text.i always wonder how i made it through .i think its very impersonal and very antisocial and of course she doesnt agree .her limit is til 9 oclock and then it is to be turned off and plugged in on the kitchen counter.the only trouble we have is not texting at inappropriate
May 1st, 2010 at 4:22 pm
I too feel these kids are not learning communication and people skills that could help them succeed later in life. This will be a big problem for these young people when they need communication skills in their jobs, relationships.