How Do You Handle Your Child’s Anxiety?

Posted May 6, 2011 by

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Does your child tend to be nervous, avoidant, annoying or exhausting? Is your child expressing fear that is beginning to turn into anger? Anxiety in children is more common than you think.  Approximately 1 out of 10 children suffers from an anxiety disorder. Parents face special challenges handling anxiety in children because of their often hectic, fast-paced and over-scheduled daily routines.

In contrast to the ordinary, occasional worries or fears experienced in childhood, generalized anxiety disorder persists for at least six months and affects children throughout the day (at home, at school, and with friends).  At home, as well as at school, providing a sympathetic and tolerant environment and making some adaptations may be helpful in combating anxiety in children.  If your child is experiencing stress and anxiety, here are some parenting techniques to help alleviate the anxieties, fears and/or anger that your child may be experiencing.

  • Understand that anxiety is an illness. Understanding the nature of anxiety and how it is experienced by a child will help you, the parent, sympathize with your child’s struggles.  Let your child know she is not doing anything wrong when she has feelings of fear or anxiety.
  • Listen to your child.  By listening and showing empathy you can be enormously comforting when something is bothering your child.  Being supportive and available for your child is a wonderful supportive message that will encourage her to continue her communication efforts rather than to become withdrawn.
  • Keep calm when a child becomes anxious.  Yes, at times situations can spiral out of control when your child’s feelings of anxiety, fear and anger are at play.  But if a child sees the parent remain calm, the child can gain a sense of assurance about the situation.  When children observe another person interacting effectively with the feared situation, they have a constructive model to emulate.  Staying calm gives you a chance to develop dialogue, offer encouragement, guided instruction and constructive feedback.
  • Develop daily routines. Balance any changes you are making in the household with as regular a routine as possible.  Getting to school in the morning or preparing for bed in the evening may become complicated for a child with fears and anxieties.  Stick to regular bed time and mealtime schedules so your child can rely on certain daily patterns and anticipate what is going to happen during the day.
  • Teach relaxation techniques. Offer strategies your child can use to regain a sense of calm when she begins to experience spiraling emotions. Examples include deep breathing, counting to 10, or visualizing a soothing place. Teaching children how to relax can empower them to develop mastery over their specific anxiety symptoms.
  • Encourage exercise. Exercise is a great stress reducer. To combat anxiety in children include opportunities for regular exercise in their daily routine.  Even if your child is only walking around the block, fresh air and exercise can lift his or her spirits.
  • Praise your child’s efforts to address her anxiety symptoms.  Children often feel that they only hear about their mistakes. Even if her improvements are small, offering praise will go a long way.  This encourages your child to continue trying strategies to solve the fears and anxieties she experiences.

I have used these techniques as I have raised my two children.  What techniques work — or don’t work — with yours?


Ann Gatty, a life coach, inforpreneur, author and organizational strategist. She has taught in classrooms and organizational training sessions and now works as a life coach for professional and personal development. Dr. Gatty has developed curriculum for college courses, organizational training and personal development. From her work and personal experiences, she finds a continuous need among women, of all walks of life, to find a life balance between professional goals and personal responsibilities. Ann Gatty hosts a website,, which offers stress management strategies, life skill development, and a means of finding your true passion in life. She has also authored Discovering God’s Recipe for a Healthy Body, Heart and Soul. Ann Gatty earned a Ph.D. in Instruction and Learning from the University of Pittsburgh, School of Education. She is married, the mother of two young adult boys, and shares her home with her husband, two Great Danes and a Bassett Hound.

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  1. LeaderMom Report

    My child suffers from general anxiety. For us, we’ve found that ensuring consistent exercise is a successful way of managing his anxiety levels. For our child, anxiety tends to build up during the day (especially school days) — if we can ensure plenty of physical activity afterschool or in the evening (1 – 2 hours of skating works best for him), he is much easier to work with.

  2. Monicatfp Report

    The recommendation to be supportive worked for me when I was growing up. My mother now refers to that time as my being sad and afraid. She made me feel that I could talk to her about anything and that would make me “feel batter.”

  3. tyler1 Report

    My child is experiencing severe anxiety & it really is hard to deal with. Fear of the dark & sleeping in his own bed are a couple of the anxieties he has. He sleeps in our master bedroom on the floor but I hope this doesn’t continue for too long. I just try to be as supportive as possible.

  4. Emmie Report

    I want to add my thanks as well. Unless you live with it, it is so hard to “get.” Great suggestions that really help!

  5. kiriannomama Report

    This is great advice from a person who obviously understands child anxiety. As a mother of a child with anxiety, I know how helpful and effective Ann’s suggestions are. Thanks for posting!



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