James Lehman, with his wife Janet, developed the foundational parenting programs offered by EmpoweringParents.com:
In addition, James was the author of two books available on Amazon:
For three decades, James Lehman worked with behaviorally troubled youth and the families and professionals who live with, educate, treat and manage them. In public schools, residential treatment centers, private schools and numerous outpatient and inpatient settings, James developed an approach to managing children and adolescents which challenges them to learn to solve social problems without hiding behind a façade of disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior.
James brought a wealth of personal experience to the arena of child and adolescent therapy, having experienced severe behavioral problems himself as a child and adolescent. Abandoned at the age of two by parents who were unable to take care of him, James was found and adopted by the Lehmans. He began to exhibit oppositional and defiant behavior at home and in the classroom. As he grew older, these behaviors became more severe. Eventually, he quit school, left home, lived on the streets of New York City and drifted into a life of substance abuse and crime, which led to numerous prison sentences.
After more than six years in various prisons and institutions, James was given the opportunity to participate in an accountability-focused treatment program. James graduated from that treatment program and participated in a period of training, became a staff coordinator, and his career as a counselor, therapist and teacher began.
James Lehman passed away in 2010 after a long illness. His legacy lives on in The Total Transformation child behavior programs and on Empowering Parents, where you can still read his articles and learn his timeless lessons. His wife, child behavior therapist and co-creator of the program, Janet Lehman, MSW, and the entire staff at Empowering Parents, continue James’s work to teach the principles of The Total Transformation to families around the world.
You can learn more about James’s life experience in:
James attended Fordham University for two years, moved to New England, and obtained a Bachelor’s Degree in Social Work, graduating Summa Cum Laude. As he continued working with children, families and professionals, James was able to attend Boston University and, in 1989, he graduated with a Master’s Degree in Social Work.
The focus of James’s work in residential treatment centers and in his private practice was providing parents, teachers and case managers with the tools to challenge children with difficult behaviors to develop the problem-solving and self-management skills necessary to succeed without relying on disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior.
James would say to parents:
“I think it’s very important for parents to understand that they don’t have to attend every fight that they’re invited to. If your kid starts to argue with you, you don’t have to give that power…If you argue with a kid and you stop arguing, that argument will die from neglect.”
“Parents of troubled kids aren’t the problem—they are the solution.”
James was featured in the New York Daily News’ article “The ‘bad kid’ fixer” by Lisa Chase.
James appeared in a segment on The Total Transformation on WPVI, channel 6 in Philadelphia.
If the thought of your child starting school fills you with dread, you’re not alone. Right now, thousands of parents across the country are asking themselves, “How am I going to get my child up on time, get him to do his homework, and make sure he stays out of trouble this year?” If your child... Read more »
If you’re a parent, it’s almost inevitable that you’re going to be faced with your child not wanting to go to school at some point. In many cases, a child will outright refuse to go to school. Many parents respond to their child's refusal to attend school by yelling, screaming, and taking everything away. Other... Read more »
When kids act out, they have an arsenal of backtalk they fire at you in order to put you on the defensive—a secret language that’s designed to win them control and absolve them of responsibility. If you take those comments at face value—or take them to heart—you’ll always be on the defensive, constantly reacting to... Read more »
As every parent knows, fights over bedtime can be one of the biggest power struggles you’ll have with your child, whether they’re five or fifteen. The truth is, many kids just don’t want to go to bed at night. For most of them, I think it’s because they’re afraid they’re going to miss something. With... Read more »
How do you nip escalating fights over power in the bud? In part two of our power struggles series, James shows you three powerful techniques for defusing defiant power struggles. How do you know if you’re entering into a power struggle with your child? Any time you’re asking your child to do something and he’s refusing... Read more »
Sometimes when we feel powerless as parents, we resort to bringing out the big guns. Have you ever found yourself saying things like, “Wait until your father gets home!” or “Wait until your mother hears about this!”? I'm here to tell you that if you threaten a child with what their other parent might ... Read more »
“My fourteen year old daughter was arrested for shoplifting make-up this week,” said Marie, a working mother of two girls. “Is this just normal teen behavior, or is it something more serious? She’s grounded for a month and I’ve taken away her iPod and computer privileges, but to tell the truth, I’m still in shock.... Read more »
For many parents, every conversation with their kids seems to turn into an argument. The parents I have worked with get completely frustrated and then don’t know how to make it stop. Whether it’s during a difficult time (like adolescence) or over several years, arguing can seem like the only form of communication that parents... Read more »
Have you found yourself asking the question, “Why is my child always so angry at me?” Do you feel like your adolescent surrounds himself or herself with a force field of anger and hostility? In this article, James Lehman, creator of The Total Transformation® child behavior program, discusses anger, hostility, and your child. Understanding Anger and... Read more »
It’s one of the hardest things parents deal with: even if you’re trying to raise your child the right way, as soon as he walks out the door, you know he’s going to be exposed to all sorts of negative—even dangerous—influences. From dress to attitude to a popular culture that says it’s cool to drink... Read more »