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Blog Posts by Megan Devine

May
12
Posted By: Megan Devine
Comments: 11

With so many divorced parents and blended families out there, differences in parenting crop up all the time. If you are divorced or separated from your child’s other parent, your experience may range from peaceful co-parenting to all-out warfare. Different houses with different rules and different parenting styles can make the experience of parenting even more challenging. If you find yourself frustrated and angry with both your child and their other parent, your own ability to act as an effective parent can seriously crumble.

Read more »

Mar
18
Posted By: Megan Devine
Comments: 6

Dear PSL: I have a five year old who tells stories all the time. Last week, he went to school and told the kids his dad was an astronaut. (He’s really a cell phone salesman.) My son also has an 8 foot tall “friend” who follows him around named Woody. We’ve told him that none of this is true and we give him consequences for lying, but he still continues to do it. What should we do? Read more »

Feb
17
Posted By: Megan Devine
Comments: 20

Dear PSL: I’ve been trying to be more consistent with consequences for my 13-year-old son. The problem is, he won’t give up his iPod when he breaks the rules. When I tell him to give it to me, he just says “make me.” To be honest, a few times I have grabbed him to get it , but that just makes him more angry. Sometimes he even shoves me, so I just drop it and walk away. But then he “wins” – he gets to break the rules and keep his iPod. By the way, the iPod is the only thing he likes, so it’s the only thing I am able to take away when he misbehaves. It seems like we are always fighting over either the rules or the consequences. Also, giving a consequence for every bad behavior is just making everything worse. What do I do?

–Stumped Dad

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Dec
31
Posted By: Megan Devine
Comments: 1

Dear PSL:

My wife and I have very different ideas about parenting. While we try not to fight in front of the kids, it really causes a lot of battles between us. I think a lot of it comes from differences in our upbringing; she didn’t have to follow any rules when she was a kid. I want our children to understand that rules are important; I want them to understand accountability and integrity. I’m always talking to them about these issues – it seems like every day, one of them does something that brings it up. My wife, on the other hand, refuses to follow through with consequences, and she tells me to “lighten up” on the kids. As I said, we try not to argue in front of them, but it’s hard when I tell our kids to stop doing something, and right away, she tells them what they’re doing is no big deal. Is it any surprise who the kids listen to? How can I get my wife to understand that what I’m trying to teach the kids is important?

–Frustrated Dad in PA

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Nov
12
Posted By: Megan Devine
Comments: 25

Dear PSL:

I am at my wit’s end. I have been trying to get my 19 year old son to get a job for months now. He says he’s trying, but I can’t be sure, as I am not home during the day to supervise him. I also just found out that he has been lying to me about finishing his high school diploma online. I try to motivate him to get a job, but he just doesn’t seem to care. He’s not a bad kid. I just find that I am starting to resent working so hard to put a roof over his head when he is doing nothing all day, and then lying to me about it. What can I do to make him care?

–Pulling My Hair Out

Read more »

Oct
09
Posted By: Megan Devine
Comments: 1

Last week, I blogged about some things homeschoolers can do to manage their kids’ behavior. This week, I want to talk a little more about consequences, and how to use structure — and a reward system — to keep your kids on track.

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Oct
02
Posted By: Megan Devine
Comments: 5

Do you homeschool your kids? Recently, a reader wrote in with this question about her 13-year-old daughter, who thinks being homeschooled means she can do work whenever she wants to:

“I know James has written about how to get kids to do their homework, but we have a unique situation. We homeschool our two children, and while my son does his work just fine, my 13 year old daughter refuses to do any work at all! She won’t even get up in the morning. She says that because she is home-schooled, she can work whenever and wherever she wants! I’ve tried to give her the freedom to structure her day, but she still doesn’t get her work done. She’s falling behind, and when I try to get her interested in something, she just blows up at me. I can’t just let her fail, but I am working so much harder than she is. My house is a battle zone all day long, and I’m afraid my son will start to pick up her habits. What can I do?”

Read more »

Apr
06
Posted By: Megan Devine
Comments: 21

Ah, the battle cry of the “almost adult”! Parents all around the country cringe when they try to enforce a family rule, only to be met with their 17-and-a-half-year-old’s shout: “Soon, you won’t be able to control me at all!”

Is that true? Are all bets off once your child reaches that golden age of eighteen?

Read more »