Homework Hell?
Part II: 7 Real Techniques That Work

Many parents write in to EP about homework battles with their kids. They want to know what to do about a child who procrastinates or who just can’t seem to stay focused on the task at hand. This week James Lehman shares tried and true methods to get kids to sit down and do the work.

Homework Hell?
Part I: How to Turn It Around

Has homework time become the seventh circle of hell in your house, with you nagging your kids to do their assignments and fighting with them over each math problem? If you and your child are battling nightly over schoolwork, read on to hear the real solutions James Lehman offers to this frustrating problem, in Part I of Homework Hell.

"Why Is Everyone Always Mad at Me?"
Why Misreading Social Cues Leads to Acting Out Behavior

Does your child often perceive himself as being right when he’s wrong and wrong when he’s right? Some children have a hard time picking up on other people’s expressions, body language or social cues. These kids are often prone to thinking they’re being disapproved of or disliked when they’re not.

Running Away Part II: "Mom, I Want to Come Home."
When Your Child is on the Streets

For kids, running away is like taking a long, dangerous timeout. They may use it to avoid some difficulty at home, or to hide from something that’s embarrassing to them. You can also look at running away as a power struggle, because kids will often run instead of taking responsibility for their actions or complying with house rules. Above all, as a parent, what you don't want to do is give it power. That's the cardinal rule: do not give this behavior power.

Differences in Parenting? How Your Child May Be Using it Against You

What do you do when your spouse doesn’t parent the same way you do? Hands-down, this is one of the most frequently asked questions we receive at Empowering Parents. “I want to set limits and give consequences, but he thinks I’m being too hard on our kids,” said one mother recently. “I’m tired of being the bad guy all the time!” Not only is that unhealthy for your relationship, it’s not good for your children, who often use that lack of agreement to take advantage of the situation. James Lehman, MSW, sat down with EP Editor Elisabeth Wilkins to talk about this difficult issue.

Running Away Part I: Why Kids Do It and How to Stop Them

It’s every parent’s worst nightmare—you go to check on your child in the middle of the night, and he’s not there. Your heart starts pounding and you fly into panic mode, calling his friends, your relatives, and the police. Whether or not your child has run away or threatened to do so—or you fear that he might—it’s vital that you read this article. James Lehman has worked with runaway youth for many years, and in this new EP series he explains why kids run away, ways you can stop them, and how to handle their behavior when they come home.

Are You Afraid of Your Acting Out Child?
Part II: 7 Ways to Get Back Parental Authority

In part two of this series, James gives you 7 ways to get back parental control and stop living in fear of your child’s tantrums and acting-out behavior.

Are You Afraid of Your Acting-Out Child? Part I: Why Giving in is a Dead End

Do you walk on eggshells around your child, afraid of doing anything to set him off? Do you appease him when you notice he’s winding up to throw a tantrum? In part one of a two-part series, James Lehman, MSW explains how fear of acting-out behavior sets up a dangerous pattern for your child—and the whole family.

Does Your Child Have "Toxic" Friends?
6 Ways to Deal with the Wrong Crowd

I've worked with a lot of children and teens with behavior problems over the years—and believe me, very few of their parents liked their friends. It's like the national anthem of parents: “It's not my child; it’s those kids he hangs out with!” When I hear that, I always say, “Maybe that's so, but the reason he hangs out with that group is because he's similar to them. And just like you're saying, ‘It's those other kids he hangs out with,’ those other kids’ parents are saying it's your kid who’s the problem.”

A Day in the Mind of Your Defiant Child

If you’re the parent of a defiant child, you’ve probably wondered what makes him so angry at life—and angry at you. With the school year approaching, are you gearing up for another difficult year with your child,  just hoping that he’ll make it through—and that you’ll be able to manage without falling apart? Realize that it doesn’t have to be a daily battle of wills once you understand what’s actually going on in your child’s head.

Motivating Underachievers Part I:
When Your Child Says "I Don't Care"

Are you facing the new school year with dread because you have an unmotivated or underachieving teen or pre-teen? Is your child’s answer to everything, “I don’t care” or “It doesn’t matter?” In Part I of this two-part series, James Lehman, MSW explains why your child does have motivation—and how you can coach them to better behavior.

Does Your Child Give You the Silent Treatment?
6 Rules for Getting Kids to Talk

Kids use the silent treatment as a way to freeze you out, to get you to leave them alone, and to push your buttons. What most parents don’t realize is that under the surface, something else is going on: the silent treatment is giving your child a feeling of power and control over you.

Trapped in a Screaming Match with Your Child? 5 Ways to Get Out Now

If yelling worked, parenting would be easy, wouldn't it? We’d simply shout, “Do it!” and our kids would comply. But here’s the truth: it doesn't work. I've told parents, “Look, if screaming at our kids was effective, I'd be out of business. You'd just be able to yell at your child and he'd change. Or you'd bring your child to my office, I'd shout at him and call him names for 45 minutes, and then he'd go home and be nice for a week.”

Avoiding Power Struggles with Defiant Children
Declaring Victory is Easier than You Think

Do you find yourself caught in a constant tug-of-war with your child, with no idea how to nip escalating fights over power in the bud? If you're caught in a battle of wills in your home, there is hope. In part two of our series, James shows you three powerful techniques for defusing defiant power struggles today.

Power Struggles Part I: Are You at War with a Defiant Child?

Do you ever feel as if your relationship with your child has become one long, drawn-out (and exhausting) power struggle? If you're in this situation, it probably seems like you simply progress from  nagging your child over dirty laundry on the floor in the morning to arguing over bedtime at night. As they get older, power struggles get more entrenched as your child pushes against the rules: they start asking for things like the keys to the car and permission to go to all-night parties, “because all their friends’ parents said ‘yes.’”