It is very common for children to use acting out as a way of solving their problems. As a result, parents can get stuck in patterns where they are being manipulated to respond in a certain way to their child’s behavior. Common or not, manipulation can be a really challenging and frustrating behavior to deal with.
Have you noticed that your child has started to use power and control in an attempt to get what s/he wants? From the preschooler who uses your fear of a public tantrum to get you to buy a candy bar in the checkout line to the teenager who gets angry and verbally abusive when you tell him he can’t go to a party, our experts have seen it all and know the proven techniques to help you reset the power dynamic in your family. You will find advice about seeing the difference between persuasion and manipulation and what is a normal and healthy part of development versus what crosses the line, as well as how to respond effectively when your child is using manipulation to gain control.
Ready to end the manipulation once and for all? Below you’ll find our suggested articles to get you started.
Does Your Child Act Out to Manipulate You? How to Stop Falling for It
Masters of Manipulation: How Kids Control You With Behavior
Manipulative Child Behavior? My Kids Are "Too Smart for Their Own Good"
“My kids are driving me crazy! They are so manipulative I can’t stand it!” Does this sound familiar? "My middle schooler blackmails me emotionally – he cries that I 'don’t care about him and love his brother more' when I ask him to stop playing his video games. It's true that he's a more difficult kid,... Read more »
Let’s face it—we are probably all guilty of some type of sneaking around when we were younger. We may have stolen cigarettes from our parents. Perhaps we lied about where we were going or who we were going to be with. We may have even thought we were justified at the time and came up... Read more »
Recently, a frustrated mom sat in my office and said, “I just don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve tried everything! There’s no punishment that gets through to our child; there’s nothing we can say that will fix her behavior. There’s so much going on we just don’t know where to start.” Sound familiar? Parents... Read more »
For many children, behavior problems are not universal; they’re targeted. Targeted at dad, at mom, at the stepmother, at the fiancé, at a sibling. The following two case studies reveal how normally charming and compliant children can become defiant or even abusive with one person in the family. James Lehman examines why this happens and... Read more »
Have your child’s angry outbursts worn you down so much that you’ve simply learned to give in? You should know that this is not a phase or a behavior that will “just go away on its own.” Read on to discover 5 things you can do to stop your child from using “Anger with an... Read more »
Does your child use anger or threats to get what he wants? Does he pick fights and blackmail you emotionally? Or maybe he acts helpless or plays sick to get out of doing chores or homework. Whether kids manipulate us aggressively or passively, this behavior makes most of us feel out of control and “played”... Read more »
You know the drill: you’re trying to talk to your teen about curfew. Or dinner. Or absolutely anything—and they pretend they can’t hear you. They start an argument with you, or give you an eye roll and a "Whatever." Or they turn up their music. They won’t lift their eyes from their screens. They scoff... Read more »
Your 10-year-old son begs you to buy him the newest video game. He cries, “All my friends have it. Why can’t you be like all the other parents? They buy their kids the stuff they want!” Or, your 16-year-old daughter is annoyed that she has to drive the old beat up Chevy to school. “I... Read more »
Have you been looking back on the last year, reflecting on how things went with your child? If so, perhaps you feel frustrated when you think about his or her behavior—and your reaction to it. Maybe you feel like no matter what you do as a parent, nothing changes. But understand that positive change can... Read more »
When kids act out, they have an arsenal of backtalk they fire at you in order to put you on the defensive—a secret language that’s designed to win them control and absolve them of responsibility. If you take those comments at face value—or take them to heart—you’ll always be on the defensive, constantly reacting to... Read more »
