It is very common for children to use acting out as a way of solving their problems. As a result, parents can get stuck in patterns where they are being manipulated to respond in a certain way to their child’s behavior. Common or not, manipulation can be a really challenging and frustrating behavior to deal with.
Have you noticed that your child has started to use power and control in an attempt to get what s/he wants? From the preschooler who uses your fear of a public tantrum to get you to buy a candy bar in the checkout line to the teenager who gets angry and verbally abusive when you tell him he can’t go to a party, our experts have seen it all and know the proven techniques to help you reset the power dynamic in your family. You will find advice about seeing the difference between persuasion and manipulation and what is a normal and healthy part of development versus what crosses the line, as well as how to respond effectively when your child is using manipulation to gain control.
Ready to end the manipulation once and for all? Below you’ll find our suggested articles to get you started.
Does Your Child Act Out to Manipulate You? How to Stop Falling for It
Masters of Manipulation: How Kids Control You With Behavior
Manipulative Child Behavior? My Kids Are "Too Smart for Their Own Good"
“My kids are driving me crazy! They are so manipulative I can’t stand it!” Does this sound familiar? "My middle schooler blackmails me emotionally – he cries that I 'don’t care about him and love his brother more' when I ask him to stop playing his video games. It's true that he's a more difficult kid,... Read more »
Sneaky behavior and lying are some of the hardest issues for parents to deal with. When your child lies and sneaks around, it can feel like a betrayal and begins to feel like a moral issue. You start to question their character. You may start to dislike your child. These are the times when parents need to be... Read more »
For many children, behavior problems are not universal; they’re targeted. Targeted at dad, at mom, at the stepmother, at the fiancé, at a sibling. The following two case studies reveal how normally charming and compliant children can become defiant or even abusive with one person in the family. James Lehman examines why this happens and... Read more »
Have your child’s angry outbursts worn you down so much that you’ve simply learned to give in? You should know that this is not a phase or a behavior that will “just go away on its own.” Read on to discover 5 things you can do to stop your child from using “Anger with an... Read more »
Does your child use anger or threats to get what he wants? Does he pick fights and blackmail you emotionally? Or maybe he acts helpless or plays sick to get out of doing chores or homework. Whether kids manipulate us aggressively or passively, this behavior makes most of us feel out of control and “played”... Read more »
Your 10-year-old son begs you to buy him the newest video game. He cries, “All my friends have it. Why can’t you be like all the other parents? They buy their kids the stuff they want!” Or, your 16-year-old daughter is annoyed that she has to drive the old beat up Chevy to school. “I... Read more »
Let’s face it, we all have things we don’t want to do, and we put them off until the last possible moment. Paperwork. House-cleaning. Those things that need to get done whether we really want to do them or not. It’s normal for grown-ups to choose fun things over required tasks –and it’s normal for... Read more »
Kids manipulate their parents. It’s part of their normal routine. They learn to use their charms and strengths to get their way and negotiate more power in the family. On the one hand, some forms of manipulation by kids are harmless. For example, if your daughter wants to go to a dance on a Saturday night,... Read more »
Does it seem like every time you tell your child “No,” it turns into a tug-of-war? One mom shared with us recently, “Absolutely everything’s an argument with my son. Even the simplest request. He just can’t take no for an answer. It’s so frustrating!” Many parents find themselves in a... Read more »
From young children to teens, James Lehman, MSW explains why your child is in trouble if he or she uses anger and acting out behavior to control others. When children use anger to get what they want, it can feel for all the world like they’re pointing a loaded weapon at you. As a parent, you... Read more »
