Why Do Kids Lie?

Posted September 17, 2015 by

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Did you know it’s really common for kids to lie when they don’t know what else to do?

As an Empowering Parents Coach and a parent myself, I’ve experienced this frustrating situation first-hand. Along the way, I’ve learned it can be helpful to recognize lying for what it is: a poor problem-solving skill.


In order to stop your child from lying, you need to help him/her develop better problem-solving skills.

How? One way is through having problem-solving conversations. We realize this can be hard — that’s why we’re here to help.

When I coach parents, I recommend one of our popular articles by Janet Lehman, How to Deal with Lying in Children and Teens. Janet talks through how to stage a “Lying Intervention” — this is an effective method for talking with your child about positively managing their behavior.

Knowing what’s going through your child’s head can also help you feel more prepared to deal with lying. Janet’s husband, James,describes exactly what your child is thinking with his article, Why Kids Lie and What to Do About It.

While these articles are great for learning quick tips, some parents want to know exactly what to say and when to say it! You can find this with James and Janet’s Total Transformation Program – an at-home parenting program that gives you the tools you need to stop bad behavior for good.

In Lesson 6 (one of my personal favorites), James walks parents through a step-by-step "interview" format that helps you coach your child to better behavior. Parents I talk to love knowing they have a plan for communicating with their child when they act out.

For additional behavior help for children with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and more, visit the Empowering Parents Store. Child behavior help specific to lying can be found here.

Remember — we’re all in this parenting thing together.

Take care,

Denise R., Empowering Parents Coach
Learn more about 1-on-1 Coaching

Quote of the Week:

“There’s no such thing as good kids or bad kids. There are simply kids who learned effective ways of solving life’s problems, and kids who have not.” —James Lehman, MSW


Denise Rowden is a parent of two teens: an 18-year-old daughter and a 19-year-old son. She has worked in Special Education, Alternative Education and adolescent group homes. She has a BS in Psychology from the University of Southern Maine and is currently working on her Life Coach certification from the International Coach Federation.

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