The phenomenon of adult children living at home and dependent on their parents has become a national problem. Indeed, more and more kids are living at home with their parents well into their 20s and beyond. And, most concerning, more and more of those kids are idle and going nowhere fast. Unfortunately, today's kids don’t... Read more »
Q: What do the other children in the family experience when they have a brother or sister who’s hostile or acts out chronically? James: It’s traumatizing when something hurtful happens to you, and you can’t control it, you can’t stop it, you can’t predict how hurtful it’s going to be, and you can’t predict when or whether... Read more »
Over the years, I’ve talked with countless parents who “fixed” things for their children—cleaning their rooms, picking up left-behind messes around the house, apologizing for their kids, easing their disappointments, or even typing their teen’s school papers because they could “type faster.” I recall talking to a mother who would stop what she was doing... Read more »
When we do too much for our kids—when we over-function for them—we rob them of the skills and practice necessary to develop competence and mastery in life. Instead of learning life skills, they develop a problem that psychologists refer to as learned helplessness. This is certainly not our intention when we aim to help... Read more »
When you're the parent of an acting-out child, it's easy to feel as if you're to blame for their behavior. As a result, you can fall into the trap of trying to fix things for your child instead of letting them deal with the natural and logical consequences of their behavior. In this interview, James... Read more »
If you listen to the news or read the paper, you know that more and more kids are living at home for longer periods of time. We often hear from parents of adult children who want to know how they can set guidelines down with their older kids, and when they should ask them to leave. If... Read more »
Ah, the battle cry of the "almost adult"! Parents all around the country cringe when they try to enforce a family rule, only to be met with their 17-and-a-half-year-old's shout: "Soon, you won't be able to control me at all!" Is that true? Are all bets off once your child reaches that golden age of 18? The... Read more »
As an advisor to parent coaching, I frequently hear calls involving sibling rivalry conflicts. An important thing to remember is that sibling rivalry is a normal emotional state in children. Children compete with each other for their parent’s approval and affection. In fact, adult children still can feel competitive about their parents’ attention. One of... Read more »
If you’re a parent, it’s almost inevitable that you’re going to be faced with your child not wanting to go to school at some point. In many cases, a child will outright refuse to go to school. Many parents respond to their child's refusal to attend school by yelling, screaming, and taking everything away. Other... Read more »
When kids act out, they have an arsenal of backtalk they fire at you in order to put you on the defensive—a secret language that's designed to win them control and absolve them of responsibility. If you take those comments at face value—or take them to heart—you'll always be on the defensive, constantly reacting to... Read more »