Getting Through To Your Child™

2 DVDs (103 minutes), 46-page Workbook

4.64 out of 5 based on 14 customer ratings
14 customer reviews
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When your child is rude, defiant and verbally abusive, it affects everyone in the family, as well as your child’s development. But it is possible to stop verbal abuse and turn the behavior around. In this program, James Lehman uses parent/child demonstrations to show you the step-by-step, word-for-word way to get kids to look at their abusive language, identify what triggers it, and make better choices next time.

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$99.00 $79.00

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stop verbal abuse from teens and children with getting through to your child

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What Are Parents Saying?

  1. 4 out of 5

    Another Empowering Parents Program that works

    I got this program because I was still having some lingering issues with disrespect from my teenage daughters. This program explained how to talk to my girls, how to get both sides of an issue out calmly and come to a mutually respectful conclusion. We still have some issues but for the most part, we More can talk thru things.
  2. 5 out of 5

    I Got Through to My Child

    I needed a structured way to approach problem solving with my children. This has worked wonderfully for my children and me.
  3. 5 out of 5

    Living with ADHD? a parent to parent support group

    At our support group we as parents viewed this dvd and found the information very helpful. The role playing is also helpful, it gives parents a vision of how to respond in a way that is less emotional and more productive. our support group has viewed many of the total transformation dvd's and I feel More they are right on track with helping parents, if they are willing to put the time and commitment into the program. Denise
  4. 5 out of 5

    Understanding the problems

    I am a K-5 music teacher, and I teach at a school that has several challenging students. I needed help trying to find a way to build a relationship in the short time I see them once a week that didn't leave them out feeling lost, or that I was too mean or unfair. This program truly helped me see where More some of my communication problems were and where I could learn to help them to help themselves. I understand how important it is for students to take responsibility for their actions and to be held accountable for them.
  5. 4 out of 5

    Day Family

    I purchased the program because my children were getting to the point that I couldn\'t handle them anymore and I was running out of things and ways to get them to listen. The program helped me in ways that I though I would never get help. My kids have started to listen and respect me like never before. More I thank this program for help me and my children.
  6. 5 out of 5

    I felt like no hope.

    Even though I had completed the total transformation program, my developmentally delayed daughter who still has teen attitude problems was leaving me hopeless. Mr. Leman's "Getting through to your child" helped me to re-evaluate and have a strategy to use when her attitude was destroying the peace of More the entire household. She now knows that when I walk away and tell her to let me know when she is ready to discuss the issue at hand--on my terms-that I mean it. Compliance is coming much smoother.
  7. 4 out of 5

    Getting thru

    I love how it shows our mood will affect not only our parenting, but how we go thru our day: are we being punished by our child's behavior, or do they need to learn and be taught better skills.
  8. 5 out of 5

    Getting Through To Your Child helps by getting through to YOU as well

    I've been using the Total Transformation Program and have been having success. However, my son continued to act out. The Getting Through to Your Child DVD program taught me why: "When your child acts out, he's doing it to solve a problem." I had failed to give my son other ways of solving problems. He More needed those skills, too. And this DVD showed me exactly what to say, in script form, for doing just that.
  9. 5 out of 5

    Getting Through to Your Child

    It was a very simple approach which I thought was very effective. The video stressed the need to stay on the point and make one's statements to the child clear and short. Also asking the child for his input and how to do this. I intend to practice with another adult to master this technique.
  10. 5 out of 5

    James is Right On

    We purchased the program out of desperation. We are well educated and well intentioned parents who made the same mistakes many other parents have. We talk too much and act too little.
  11. 5 out of 5

    Mrs. Charlotte A. Farabee

    I have a two sons with adhd 1 is 20 and 1 is 9. When the 20 year old was young, I said here take this pill I got to go to work. With the second son I started taking him to counseling and only getting more and more agree because the counselor thought things were no big deal WRONG... I always knew the More cop wasn't gonna let my son get away with things. Then I found Total Transformation and it is a dream come true. It gives me back the authority that as a parent is required. I found this information very very good and have let my children watch it. Amazing how when they see it on tv it makes since to them too. They're always sorry for their behavior - but it's changing their behavior that even they are recognizing......
  12. 3 out of 5

    i like it

    I purchased this program for help with my adhd child mainly. it helps in some areas and in some it doesnt. Some of the consequences are beyond our means - my kids have no cell phones, no ipods. and they just keep turning the tv back on. Also, as a single parent with a weird scheduled job, i can't More always be there to control the electronics. I think this is a great resource and i am trying to implement it because i think that it can work and would like to thank you for your help.
  13. 5 out of 5

    The Perfect Way to Talk to a Child After Misbehavior

    Let me start by saying that I'm not a parent. I am a high school teacher. "Getting Through to Your Child" is the perfect "script" for talking with a student after class or during a "detention".
  14. 5 out of 5

    A family therapist's response with gratitude and an enthusiastic endorsement

    As a therapist with 34 years of professional experience working with children, teens, parents, and families, I need to tell you that the video \"Getting Through to Your Kid\" is the best piece of work and most effective video I have ever viewed, bar none, for \"Getting Through To Their Parents\" that More I have ever seen in my professional career. That is not an exaggeration in any way. Thank you so much for producing this video and course, along with all your other resources. Please...make and produce continuation videos in this same style, with many, many, more scenarios including a wide variety of other common parenting issues, demonstrating the same \"Alternative Response\" steps, and I will buy them all. Repetition of this process, applied to other typical conflicts, would be a fantastic extension of this body of work that the parents (me included) would gobble up, and I believe seeing the same process applied in all of them would help them to master these tools and skills. Oh yeah, I also have to tell you that the actors you used are without a doubt the most talented I\'ve seen in any of the many parenting videos I\'ve seen or used in my practice, and the acting comes across with such authenticity that both the parents and kids who view them report that they appear so \"real life\" that they instantly find themselves identifying with them. They tell me that this gives them a sense of hope that they too just might be able to improve their relationships with their kids, and become more effective, as a result of these videos, and the tools that are so clearly demonstrated in them. Thank You, Steven B. Cherman, L.C.S.W.
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Product Features:

  • 2 Instructional DVDs (103 minutes)
  • 46-page Workbook

Yes, behavior can change.

We’ve seen even the most defiant, obnoxious and verbally abusive kids change, time and time again. To achieve these results, you just need to learn the right tools and process for when abusive and defiant behavior kicks in and takes over.

Trade the chaos for calm.

  • End getting flustered at your child’s behavior
  • Break the pattern of yelling and screaming
  • No more reasoning and negotiating
  • Stop groping for words in the moment
  • Never give in to your child’s demands again

In this program, you’ll learn:

  • The 8-step conversation model that works for virtually every behavioral situation
  • Effective ways to stop your child’s verbal abuse
  • How to get to the trigger behind the behavior
  • Ways to deal with the most common problems, such as lying and breaking curfew, out-of-control anger and intimidation, refusal to do homework, bad grades, manipulation, and fighting between siblings
  • A framework to develop more constructive behavior. This program works best when used with the behavior management plan of The Total Transformation® Program.

1-on-1 Coaching

When you need guidance through a specific situation, have questions about your program or just need someone to listen when you’re overwhelmed, our professional 1-on-1 Coaches are waiting to help. Each is highly experienced with our range of learning programs, and dedicated to personally motivating and supporting you. Simply call or email and get personalized guidance related to your program. Plus, since 1-on-1 Coaching is an optional service, you can elect to use it as long as you need it.

Our professional staff of 1-on-1 Coaches is here to help guide you through your learning program. Many have experienced parenting challenges firsthand, and offer a fresh and knowledgeable perspective.

Coaching can be added to your order during the checkout process.

Q: My child has a diagnosis (such as ADD/ADHD, ODD). Will it work for him/her?

A: Yes. Getting Through To Your Child can be helpful for children with these conditions, and was born out of James and Janet Lehman’s approach to working with defiant, oppositional youth to develop more effective problem-solving skills. A good approach for many families is to use the program tools in conjunction with the support of a trusted, qualified, and local professional.

Q: Is there anyone who shouldn't use the program?

A: Children with autism, profound intellectual disabilities, and severe psychiatric disorders that result in an inability to communicate may not benefit from the techniques outlined in Getting Through To Your Child.

The James Lehman Approach

Drawing from personal experience and 30 years in the field

“I was a kid with behavior problems—about the worst problems you can imagine.”James LehmanJames Lehman, MSW

James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation®, The Complete Guide to Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents, One Plan™, from a place of professional and personal experience. Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management professionally. Together with his wife, Janet Lehman, he developed an approach to managing children and teens that challenges them to solve their own problems without hiding behind disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior. Empowering Parents now brings this insightful and impactful program directly to homes around the globe.

“Parent the child you have, not the child you wish you had.”

1-on-1 Coaching

Only Empowering Parents offers professional 1-on-1 Coaching to help guide you through our learning programs, answer your questions and listen when you need to talk.

Simply call or email when you are ready for personal, 1-on-1 support and we’ll be there to help you.

Select 1-on-1 Coaching during the checkout process.