Are you tired of the constant fighting and arguing that comes with sibling rivalry? If so, you're not alone. Sibling rivalry is one of the most common issues we encounter at Empowering Parents. From name-calling and teasing to verbal abuse and aggression, it’s no wonder many parents feel frustrated. Why can't everyone just get along?
There is another way to look at this. Try and see sibling rivalry as an opportunity for kids to practice using skills like negotiation, compromise and respectful disagreement. If you are able to step back, it gives your children a chance to use effective conflict resolution skills. Of course, it is appropriate to intervene if their fighting becomes abusive or bullying.
Here you'll find articles that can help teach your children how to resolve their own disagreements, so you don't have to play referee.
Siblings at War in Your Home? (Declare a Ceasefire Now!)
6 Ways to Stop Sibling Bickering and Rivalry
The Lost Children: When Behavior Problems Traumatize Siblings
“Mom, he just called me a bad name.” “I did not, you liar!” “He did too, Mom, and he always does; you just never see it!” “Get lost, you brat; you’re such a baby!” “I hate you!” Siblings bicker; it’s what they do. They tease and taunt and fight. It can drive parents crazy and wear us down—and for good... Read more »
“Have you ever wondered what’s going on inside your teenager’s head?” What was she thinking when she made that choice? Why won’t he listen to what I’m telling him? It can seem as if an adolescent is completely wrapped up in a separate world, feet planted firmly in the air instead of on... Read more »
You know the drill: you’re trying to talk to your teen about curfew. Or dinner. Or absolutely anything—and they pretend they can’t hear you. They start an argument with you, or give you an eye roll and a "Whatever." Or they turn up their music. They won’t lift their eyes from... Read more »
Everyone gets mad sometimes, children and adults alike. Anger is an emotion that can range from slightly irritated to moderately angry, all the way to full-blown rage. A child’s anger often makes us feel uncomfortable, so there can be a natural tendency to try and change the situation for your child, so the anger will... Read more »
We’ve all heard the following phrases from our kids: “Stop touching me!” “Give that back!” “Knock it off!” “MOM, he took my stuff!” “DAD, she won’t stay on her side of the car!” Sometimes it’s simply annoying and frustrating, like fingernails on a chalkboard. Other times, arguments cross the line into verbal and physical abuse.... Read more »
Why are our kids often at each other’s throats in the summer? The biggest cause of fighting during the long summer break is the fact that you’re spending a whole lot of time together. If external stresses increase—if there’s trouble at work, a bad break–up for one of your teens, or you’re caring... Read more »
Sibling rivalry is normal in families with more than one child. It becomes a problem when one child bullies or dominates the other. It's also a more complex issue than it first appears. On the surface, you have two kids who are “at war”—who bicker constantly and don’t get along. There can be many reasons... Read more »
When you have more than one child, from time to time they might ask you if you love one sibling more. This is not unusual, and sometimes children will put the question to you in an offhand way, pretending that the answer isn’t really that important. But the answer is important. And... Read more »
Q: What do the other children in the family experience when they have a brother or sister who’s hostile or acts out chronically? James: It’s traumatizing when something hurtful happens to you, and you can’t control it, you can’t stop it, you can’t predict how hurtful it’s going to be, and you can’t predict when or whether... Read more »
As an advisor to 1-on-1 Coaching, I frequently hear calls involving sibling rivalry conflicts. An important thing to remember is that sibling rivalry is a normal emotional state in children. Children compete with each other for their parent’s approval and affection. In fact, adult children still can feel competitive about their parents’ attention. One of... Read more »