If you find yourself doing everything for your child, you may be engaging in what I refer to as martyr parenting. Without even realizing it, well-meaning parents can turn into martyrs for their kids. If this is you, you must learn to step back. You must learn to stop being the martyr so that your... Read more »
Does your child mock or make fun of you? Mocking, imitating, and laughing at parents can be harmless fun, but it can also become an annoying behavior that undermines your authority. Some kids make a game of teasing their parents. There are two contexts in which kids can mock, imitate, or laugh at you. One is... Read more »
Kids grow up watching you for a living, and let’s face it, they learn pretty quickly how to push your buttons. It might be back talk, or constant complaining or eye-rolling, but whatever the behavior, nearly every parent will occasionally lose their temper with their kids. Many parents control their emotions most of the time. However,... Read more »
Does your child seem to interrupt every conversation with the words, "But Mom..." or "But Dad..." ? Do they constantly cut you off mid-sentence to tell you that something's not fair? Interrupting comes from a variety of sources, including over-stimulation, competition with siblings and peers, impulsivity and general family patterns of communication. It’s helpful to... Read more »
Managing your child's behavior during the best of times can be challenging. But, during a divorce, it can seem nearly impossible. Divorce is traumatic for everyone involved, but particularly for children. For them, their whole world is changing, and the future is unknown. The most powerful people in their lives have decided to go on... Read more »
This is the third and final installment in a three-part series of articles by James Lehman, MSW, on the difficult topic of adult children living at home. In this segment, James addresses the issue of setting up a living agreement with your child. For those parents who haven’t set up a structured agreement when their child... Read more »
When children and teens use violence to get what they want—whether it’s punching a parent, a sibling, or a hole in the wall—it usually involves a situation where they’re being told “no” to something they want to do. Or, similarly, they’re being told they have to do something they don’t want to do. In both cases,... Read more »
When parents realize that their children might have either a behavioral or learning problem, the first thing many do is blame themselves. Parents are usually very frightened and worried about their children’s behavior. This fear often manifests itself in negative ways. One of those ways is blame. As problems continue, they start to externalize the blame... Read more »
Do you have an adult child living with you? If you're in constant conflict with an older child over everything from curfews (should they have one or shouldn’t they?), to getting a job, to alcohol use, James Lehman offers advice on how to set reasonable limits and how to coach your child to responsibility and... Read more »
The phenomenon of adult children living at home and dependent on their parents has become a national problem. Indeed, more and more kids are living at home with their parents well into their 20s and beyond. And, most concerning, more and more of those kids are idle and going nowhere fast. Unfortunately, today's kids don’t... Read more »